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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER | RED | #E00707
TEXT | ACTION

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[parodeity]

Probably, she talked to me about it sometimes. [ a shrug. ]

[windeity]

What exactly did she say?

[parodeity]

Pretty much pointed remarks whenever I mentioned you or whatnot. [ dryly. ]

[windeity]

Have we ever considered telling Rose to mind her own business?

[parodeity]

Yeah, when exactly has that one ever worked for you? Also, she would tell you I am her business.

[windeity]

And while she's not wrong about that, I think maybe she would consider listening this time. Maybe. I could make a very convincing case.

[parodeity]

Oh really? Lay it on me. Pretend I'm my sister. [ he looks enough like her sometimes. ]

[windeity]

Seriously? [Like yes, they look alike, but also what?] Okay, wow, um. Hold on, I was not prepared for that.

[...] Rose, I know you have a lot of opinions on stuff but have you considered psychoanalyzing people not me or Dave?

[parodeity]

[ he tries to rein in his drawl, mimicking rose's diction and volume and oh so elegantly raising his eyebrows in the faintest amused disbelief. ] Now, where would the fun in that be?

[windeity]

Well. It would be fun to have a new person to really dig into instead of us who you have known for years. I think something new would be great!

[parodeity]

Oh, but you're both constantly providing me with new territory to discover and work through. And of course the continued exploration of Dave's fragile psyche has become something of a hobby. He does have the most amusing tendency to avoid the subject. All the subjects. I rather enjoy our elaborate waltzes around them until he slips.

[ rose talks at dave a lot. he's maybe decently good at mimicking the shit she says. ]

[windeity]

...okay we're done, you are actually freaking me out a little. Is that really what the last three years were like?

[parodeity]

When she was sober. [ a shrug. ] Drunk Lalonde district is more like -

[ he's back to not imitating his sister, and dave purses his lips, trying to think. ]

Uh...well, just. Really...Vantas said she was "fun" and shit, but. Yeah.

[windeity]

I don't know if I would really trust Karkat's judgment on that kind of thing. No offense. Trolls definitely have a different idea of "fun" anyway.

[parodeity]

You shouldn't. I meant it more like an example of "Vantas found her more tolerable drunk". [ a wry smile. ] So she's kind of like. Less Rose-ish when she drinks, to a degree?

[windeity]

I think we would all be a little less ourselves if we were drinking, but I also wouldn't know. I've never done it. [...] When Rose shows up, we are putting an alcohol ban on everything.

[parodeity]

100% behind that plan. [ he thought she needed an intervention just like. hours before they arrived, so. ] And yeah I've never drunk, either. I mean, I got hooked on, uh, coffee? Really bad coffee. I have no idea why I kept drinking it coffee. Like, I didn't even enjoy the experience? I just kept making it happen. It would not stop happening.

[windeity]

Probably because you are stubborn and once you started it decided to stick with it because it was a thing you started and didn't want to admit it tasted like shit.

[Like. Just saying.]

[parodeity]

...You know me too well. When the fuck did we get married. [ he makes a face at john, because fuck you egbert? ]

[windeity]

[He's taking a bite of his pastry and he's grinning to himself. Haha.]

Shut up. I just know you better than you think I do. [A beat.] These turned out good by the way.

[parodeity]

Thanks. Chroma'll make a chef out of me yet. And also, you underestimate how well I think you know me. You know me better than anyone else in the universe, dude. You lost any competition this month.

[ he's told. no one? about his childhood in the details john got. okuyasu got "yeah my bro wasn't cool". dirk got a lot, apparently, but dave didn't specifically tell him - alpha dave did.

and dirk doesn't know all the stuff john already knew. ]

You've even outpaced Lalonde. Congrats.

[windeity]

Which is flattering given Rose is your sister. But I suppose that is what best friends are. [He finishes the pastry before leaning his head on his hand, propped up by his elbow.]

It's the same for me and that is not going to change. So. Consider us even.

[parodeity]

Oh. Huh. [ why did he not expect that to be true in reverse. dave seems to remember the pastry only after a minute of staring at john putting his head on his hand, and then retrieves his to actually. have a bite.

he's slow as ever. ]

I guess you're just my person.

[windeity]

Your person? [He doesn't sound incredulous, but curious.] Like a confidant?

[parodeity]

Sure. [ he's pulling the pastry into smaller pieces instead of eating normally now. ] And like.

[ his eyes flick back up but john can't see that. ]

The stay with me thing ain't a thing that matters. I'd pretty much just follow you anywhere. You wanna go back, we do.