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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER | RED | #E00707
TEXT | ACTION

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[parodeity]

Don't be an idiot. [ dave tosses a pastry bit at john's face. ] I mean. I mean, wherever you wanna go and whatever you wanna do. Maybe what I wanted to stay here for isn't a here kinda thing. [ he shrugs. ] There are people and things that make me happy and - comfortable. But mostly it's you. I mean, who does those things. So wherever you wanna go or whatever you wanna do. I'll stick around as long as universal laws allow it. Or try to break 'em, I guess. So don't...figure stuff out on your own.

[windeity]

[There's an alarmed noise as the pastry bounces off of his glasses.] Alright, alright, jeez. I won't. I know it's a thing we can solve together. But I want to stick together no matter what. So. Don't hold back anything as we figure stuff out. Got it?

[parodeity]

I'm not holdin' back anything too bad anymore, okay? [ just stupid things that don't matter. ] And cool. I accept your marriage proposal, but I want a summer wedding. And live doves.

[windeity]

First of all, saying "too bad anymore" does not inspire a lot of confidence? And second of all where are we getting live doves?

[Third of all, maybe don't joke about marriage, idiots.]

[parodeity]

You have to go capture the doves, it's part of the marriage trials. And I'll tell you when you're older. [ he's kidding. ]

[windeity]

You suck, have I ever told you that?

[parodeity]

Why the fuck do I suck?

[windeity]

I don't even know how to catch birds? So that is a terrible trial. [He's still just joking around, end him.]

[parodeity]

So you're sayin' you wouldn't learn for the sake of our love? [ dave puts a dramatic hand to his heart, although his expression doesn't change. ] Wow. I suppose I could name off the easier trials. Trial one to win my hand in marriage: write me a song.

[windeity]

At least that's in my skillset. But sure. If I ever want to win your hand in marriage I will get right on that.

[parodeity]

If? Rude. [ he'll actually start eating again. ] Remind me to find someone else to spend the rest of my life with before lunch tomorrow.

[windeity]

I will also get right on that. [He's taking another pastry himself.] You could probably find somebody, actually.

[parodeity]

Not interested. [ a shrug. ] Also, it'd probably be awkward and not cool of me to date someone when you're my main priority. And the whole...

[ gesture!!! to explain being dead. ]

Thingamajig. But I could obviously date anyone I wanted. Shit, they could make me one of those tv shows where people try to fight to the death for a date with Dave Strider. With foam swords. The fight to the death, not the date. Although a date involving foam swords sounds rad?

[windeity]

Yeah, I guess that's fair. [Glad John's just, like, fine with that. There's nothing weird or co-dependent about that, but also friends are important.]

I have a lot of questions but the main one I think I have is where would you even find foam swords?

[parodeity]

Toys R Us? [ a shrug... ] Or captcha combinations.

[windeity]

Maybe we should skip out on that for now. But it is something to keep in mind for later.

[parodeity]

Later on when I date people?

[windeity]

Exactly. Whenever that is.

[parodeity]

[ another shrug. ] Whenever you do or never. Oh, or if the human personification of an apple showed up.

[windeity]

Why does it have to be when I do? [He's not questioning the apple thing because like. That's expected as much as he hates that.]

[parodeity]

Uh...I don't know? [ that was for sure a thing he did not mean to say. dave...keeps shrugging... ] Like. If you started dating someone, I would probably get lonely enough to look around. You know I'm a needy little bitch.

[windeity]

You really are. [Since they're being honest? But it's said in a way that he absolutely doesn't even care, he's used to Dave pestering at literally all hours ever.] I don't know. I am not really interested in dating right now considering the circumstances.

[...there's Roxy, but it's not really an ideal dating situation and he's not going to bring it up.]

[parodeity]

[ there's a small little smile, and dave shrugs. ] Anyway, it's a moot point until you inevitably get interested in dating and abandon me.

[windeity]

I'm not going to abandon you for a girl, idiot. [Just sayin?] That would first of all be very uncool of me, and second of all I have been on the other end of that and it's shitty. No thanks.

[parodeity]

You say that now. [ but he knows john would stick around. it would just maybe be a little different. ] And yeah, I know. We'd just have to recalibrate and stop doin' some of the stuff we do.