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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

You shouldn't do time estimates, you always get them wrong.

[ where were the minutes and milliseconds, dirk. where were they. ]

You're nice. Being decent and being nice aren't completely unrelated.

[splinten]

Estimate means that it isn't precise.

[eff u?]

I'm not interested in being nice.

[parodeity]

Estimates are training wheels.

[ though tbh how he would react to dirk giving him exact time frames is up in the air? dirk has never bothered to computerize it or whatever. ]

You may not be interested in bein' nice, but you are, so.

[splinten]

[Dirk is making the annoyed face and it looks like he will have an annoyed retort.

Then it stops, though. It's still a little begrudging. But he seems to relax a little.]

Thanks.

[parodeity]

And - oh I won.

[ he was about to keep arguing? he's not entirely sure what to do now that he's won. ]

Are you sure you don't want me to dis you more about estimates and bike riding skills.

[splinten]

I could ride a bike.

[He could not ride a bike.]

[parodeity]

Sure. After you fell off several times and slash or saw someone else doin' it.

[ he's pretty sure dirk has never ridden a bike? ]

It'd probably take you about five minutes to get good. But even so, you def couldn't do it right this second without fuckin' it up at least once.

[splinten]

If you taught me I'd do it on first go.

[So there]

[parodeity]

Nah. You have to fall off your bike at least once in your life, dude. It's like, part of childhood or some shit.

[ not that he had a bike? ]

Same as with skateboards, though you can fall off those lots more because failed tricks or whatever. What's the point of bein' a kid if you don't scrape your knees and have to have a band-aid slapped over what you're convinced is a bullet wound?

[splinten]

[Dave is describing a thing neither of them had. They both know that.]

Thanks again. [He. Will clarify.] For not experimenting on your time healing trick at more extreme levels.

[Kids and scrapes reminded him.]

[parodeity]

[ that was a completely needed clarification because dave would not have gotten that one. he blinks. ]

Sure? You would have freaked out if I'd pushed the issue. [ and the reason he'd given at the time still stood: he wouldn't have been able to handle it if it'd been a positions reversed scenario. ]

[splinten]

I appreciate it.

[Dirk would have had to decide whether or not to beg Dave to use him instead. He thinks he'd end up hating himself either way.]

[parodeity]

I don't think I'll ever get it.

[ a puppet or dave strider or what? there's similarities, but they're so fucking different. ]

[splinten]

Get what?

[Why breaking your rib cage for science is bad? Because Dirk feels like he mostly got that one.]

[parodeity]

He would have had me train it. Every last scenario.

[ it's really fucking jarring that dirk would do everything he could to stop that exact situation. ]

[splinten]

[Hm. Dirk doesn't reply immediately. He is thinking about it.]

I don't know if I'll ever get that, myself. That isn't to say I can't follow the reasoning. It sounds like the sort of training I'd put myself through before I started learning from you. But I still can't get it. When you do things like that, you get this look on your face, and... It's impossible to understand anything that would make him willing to see that face.

[parodeity]

[ wait. ]

What look do I get?

[ he's pretty fucking sure he shuts his expression down (he tries), so what's getting through? ]

[splinten]

The one where you... [He frowns. Rubs at his brow, and then... he imitates it. It's a good imitation: no emotion, no response. A blank mask. (Bro's little soldier.) An expression shut down.] That one. The blank one.

[parodeity]

[ wow, dirk, mimicking dave's exact replica of bro's expression on dirk's (bro's) face was maybe not the hottest idea. dave doesn't quite flinch but it's a near fucking thing as he forces himself to smother the impulse.

...

yeah give him a second here to remember that breathing is a thing and he should maybe do it. ]

Oh.

[ a little weak but there we go that was words. he words'ed. ]

[splinten]

[Ah.

In retrospect, a mistake was made.]

That was his expression.

[It's a question that isn't a question. It's a realization.]

Shit. Sorry.

[parodeity]

S'what he wanted to see. To answer the part you didn't get.

[ bro's little soldier wasn't far off. he doesn't answer the question that isn't a question because: yeah, duh. ]

It's cool. I'm cool. [ hadn't seen that expression irl in a while but good to know dirk apparently doesn't like seeing it, shit. ]

[splinten]

No, that probably counters as a thing that you have every right not to be cool about. [Fuck.]

I can make a silly face to wash it out. Like. [He tries. He draws out an operatic apologetic face. It looks incredibly stupid and definitely awful.]

[parodeity]

[ well, dave snorts? it's still pretty weak but. that's absolutely an expression bro never made (dude only ever made that expression, the blank mask, and dave's not sure how he feels that he has it on lockdown himself). ]

You were not made to make silly faces. [ tiny awkward smiles and weird quirks of his lips maybe, but silly faces look wrong in a ridiculous way on dirk. ]

[splinten]

My silly faces are awesome, fuck you. [He makes another one? It's a silly scared face. It is also terrible, and one hundred percent in the Macaulay Culkin tradition.]

[parodeity]

I like your actual expressions better, though. [ but there's something like a smile at the corner of his lips. still not actually there, but almost. ]