subnautica ic inbox 1.0;

[parodeity]

TELEPATHY | TEXT | VOICE | VIDEO | ACTION

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Comments

8/28

[alienates]

[ hopefully dave isn't doing something super dumb atm because he is getting a telepathic message right now. ]

Dave. Dave? Dave! Dave, where are you? Daaaaaave.

[parodeity]

Dude you could wait for me to reply before you start spamming my name?

[ when ISN'T he doing something dumb - but no ]

I'm in the kitchen, where's the fire. Besides my beats, I mean.

[alienates]

Your beats suck, shut the fuck up?

[ wait he message dave for a reason. ]

Stay there, I'm on my way.

[parodeity]

You love my beats, don't even front.

[ honestly dave wasn't even sure there was a reason... ]

Ok. I'll make you a sandwich, too.

[alienates]

[ don't worry it's a stupid as fuck reason. ]

Okay but don't put oranges on it this time? I'm not Dirk, that was disgusting.

[parodeity]

Does fruit jam offend your delicate sensibilities now? I can find meat.

[ karkat is such a picky eater in comparison to dave. ]

[alienates]

I am just very specifically asking for not oranges. Can you do that for me? A total of negative oranges between the two slices of bread? Is this a part of your varied skill set?

[ he is on his way to the kitchen coming from his room. ]

[parodeity]

Dude I got that but what the fuck do you specifically want on here that you won't throw a fit about? You get jam or meat those are the two options here. If you don't pick one I'm doing both.

[ which you know dave would eat but karkat might not ]

[alienates]

Shit, I don't know. You're putting a lot of pressure on me like this?

[ karkat you can't use that excuse every single time? ]

[parodeity]

Five seconds before you get a jam and meat sandwich and have to eat every bite.

[ his mental tone is mostly amused. ]

[alienates]

No! No no, wait, jam! No. Meat? Fuck. Dave, hold on, I'm almost there!

[ HE NEEDS TO GO SAVE HIS SANDWICH DON'T DO ANYTHING RASH, DAVE? ]

[parodeity]

Jam's on, here comes the meat.

[ 2 late ]

[alienates]

[ and he is hurrying into the kitchen and ]

Godfuckingdammit, Strider! You do this every single time, I swear to fuck.

[ he is holding a book? ]

[parodeity]

[ karkat gets handed a sandwich.

it's jam only. dave's eating the meat and jam monstrosity. ]

You need to get better at making split-second decisions. Is it time for Storytime With Karkat?

[alienates]

[ yay. karkat takes his non-shitty sandwich. but not before setting the book down on the table.

it's a gossip girl personality quiz book. ]

I need you to take this very important test.

[parodeity]

[ dave reads the title. ]

Not happening.

[ or like, if he does. he will just. bullshit every answer hilariously to get something incorrect. karkat do you know him at all. ]

[alienates]

What do you mean not happening? I walked across the base to bring this to you. Take it, Dave.

[ he pushes it closer to dave. ]

I'm Blair, apparently.

[parodeity]

Dude, you know you're just going to get upset when I don't get...whoever Blair is supposed to be dating. Don't pretend I know who that is.

[ dave proceeds to take a bite of his sandwich instead of taking the trap quiz

he's not sure how it's a trap but clearly it is ]

Is that seriously what you tracked me down for? Wait, who am I kidding, of course it is.

[alienates]

Why do I have to have an ulterior motive? Can't I just want to take a quiz with my [ he quickly looks around to make sure there is no one else entering the room ] boyfriend?

[ no dave is definitely right

this is a trap ]

Just take the fucking quiz, Strider. It'll take a minute.

[parodeity]

No, you definitely have an ulterior motive, especially since you bothered to use the dreaded b-word. In potential public.

[ like sure he checked for people listening in but dave's pretty suspicious now. ]

Can't you just fill it out for me? Did you already take it as me and hate the result.

[alienates]

No!

[ yes ]

Oh my fucking god, just do it? [ at this point karkat is literally just going to attempt to force it into dave's hands? fuck your sandwich. ]

[parodeity]

...I'm totally spot-on, aren't I, oh my god who did you get when you were roleplaying me?

[ this has to be the dumbest thing anyone has sought him out for so far ]

Please tell me you did something with your day besides fill out personality quizzes as me, babe.

[ he just floats up so he can keep eating his sandwich and the book just hits his chest. ]

[alienates]

I didn't get anyone because that is not a thing that happened. Do you really think I have so much free time on my hand to fill out every single quiz in this book as you? Because I don't. I have a ton of "irons in the fire," as a certain spider bitch would say.

[ he grabs onto dave's shirt and pulls at it? come down?? ]

Stop rejecting me!

[parodeity]

Do the irons in the fire include retaking the test a bunch to see if you could rp me into getting something different?

[ 'cause he bets so. ]

Also: not rejecting you, rejecting your teenage girly quizzes, total difference.

[alienates]

They aren't "teenage girly quizzes," Dave. This book is filled with various in-depth questionnaires that really look deeply into your inner psyche. I have learned so much about myself that I would have never realized if I hadn't found this.

[ what if he just... attempts to climb up there... karkat latches himself onto dave and tries to shimmy up? this isn't going to work is it. ]

Dave. Daaaaave. Dave Strider.