subnautica ic inbox 1.0;

[parodeity]

TELEPATHY | TEXT | VOICE | VIDEO | ACTION

GO HERE TO THE NEW INBOX, THIS INBOX NO LONGER LOADS EASY FOR ME

Comments

[parodeity]

haha no
im not meeting you anywhere you pick youre a fucking cheater too
if you want to meet and talk im picking the place and im not telling you about it more than five minutes in advance
because if all you want to do is talk honestly we could do that over this
so i assume that is not all you want

[ he's wavering dangerously between flight or fight here and responds defensively and still like a dick because

well

he's busy hating himself and also dirk by proxy ]

[splinten]

[Hm. If he had any teleporters on his team, this would be an easier trap to set out. But if Dave picks something open-air...

Actually, he has an idea. He can work with this either way.]

Okay.
Sorry for wanting to have a conversation about children's toy in person like adults.

[parodeity]

dude why are you even fronting about it
we both know thats not how you think of him
if youre playing it that way dont bother
you wont like the part that comes next

how much does he know btw

[splinten]

It's called irony, Dave. You might have heard of it.
I won't deny that I love Lil Cal. Like I told you, he saved my life and I bonded with him. In a sense, he was my best friend for a very long time.
That doesn't change the fact that his position relative to yours is closer to the incinerator. And will grow increasingly so if you don't meet with me tomorrow.

Jake knows that I want to destroy Lil Cal because you're not okay with having him around.
He also knows that you're being a huge dick.

[parodeity]

dont make me out threaten you

no
what does he know about bro

[splinten]

[He mentally flickers over this conversation and the one they had on the Aurora. He's reasonably confident he never brought Bro up.]

As far as I'm aware, nothing.
I've never mentioned him to Jake.

[parodeity]

i note you didnt bother to respond to my request you not make me up the ante

do you need to tell him

[splinten]

You're welcome to make an attempt.

About Bro? No. I don't intend on telling anyone about him.

[parodeity]

im giving you a chance to change your mind before i make a success

i didnt ask about intent i asked if you need to

[splinten]

I'd prefer that you not try to escalate this unnecessarily. I'll deal with it if you do.

I don't need to.

[...and he wouldn't even if he did.]

[parodeity]

its not unnecessary
i refuse to let you be a dumbass
take back the execution threat
you cant deal with escalations i make if those escalations include not being available for your machinations

[splinten]

You're welcome not to show up to our meeting. I'll simply have to put an end to a beloved childhood friend on my own.

[parodeity]

you failed to understand my escalated threat
knock it the fuck off with the execution threat shit or im out for a week until further notice

[ flight over fight is more his style when it comes to arguments that are serious with other people

also, he's tired and angry and wants to find the hours that are just for him again almost because dave has never done well sorting his shit out with a bunch of people around. it's easier to think about shit on his own. it's one of the things that annoys karkat most about him when they actually legitimately argue. ]

your trackers will not actually impede me getting out from under your radar

[splinten]

[Dirk studies the communicator for a moment. Then, he makes his choice.]

I'll stop. [...He'll still do it, but he'll stop threatening it.]
Do you need to fuck off for a week? I'm willing to wait.

[parodeity]

dunno
ill let you know whenever i get back
dont let karkat have an aneurysm im about to ditch him

[ unless karkat can convince him in the next two seconds this is stupid since 1) it's storm season still technically 2) he's sick and 3) not everyone agrees that just cutting ties and ditching until you're able to control your facial expressions is a good idea re: dealing with problems.

but if karkat can't do that dave will quite literally go off the grid in a method only he can manage ]

[splinten]

Wait.
Let me pack you food and shit. We need to get you diving equipment and something for the weather.
It's a storm and you're sick. I respect needing space, but I can't accept you worsening your health.

[He has to bite back a just to get away from me. He's pretty sure it won't help.]

[parodeity]

im taking care of that this morning
ill only be gone a few hours from your perspective
id make it nothing but honestly it aint like you dont need space either

[splinten]

I need you, dumbass.

[And he's sending your sister to find you anyway.]

[parodeity]

[ well he's definitely absconding if he sees rose before she can talk him out of it!! ]

i need you too
this is actually not even a threat even though i was hoping it could double as one
we promised to be honest
so
this is a thing that happens sometimes
ill be back as soon as im calm
karkat made me swear to give him actual warnings and timeframes for it
ill pen you down into that list too

love you too

[ he technically didn't reply last time but the argument is ongoing so it still counts ]

[splinten]

Thank you. I'm sorry.

[parodeity]

[ there won't be a reply to that until exactly two hours later sent from the farm since of course that's where he went when he got back from Whenever and Wherever he was, because if nothing else dave is punctual as fuck when it comes to promises he makes re: time. ]

not your fault were both idiots generally
ill meet you for your dumb trap meeting tomorrow

[ he gives absolutely no indication of how long he was gone from his own perspective because of course he doesn't. ]

[splinten]

Hold on, fifteen minutes of Kaufman bullshit left.

[...Yeah Dirk decided to watch a movie he hated to distract himself? It made sense.]

[parodeity]

[ nothing they do makes sense? ]

take your time i have to talk to rose and karkat anyway

[splinten]

I'd apologize but you deserve this.

[Hating Kaufman has clearly calmed down some of his self-hate in favour of just being annoyed at Dave.]

[parodeity]

im used to it they both disagree on my coping techniques whenever i use like any of them
shockingly
its almost like they think its not emotionally mature to just not until you can

[ dave's swung from being annoyed at dirk to being lowkey self-deprecating with bad jokes so however long he was gone (don't ask, don't tell) helped. ]

anyway im sleeping out here tonight because i cant be fucked to move jsyk