recollé ic inbox 3.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

GO HERE FOR NEW THREADS!!!!!!! This one loads slow for me.

Comments

[parodeity]

sure

one of them yeah
do you actually want a detailed time travel explanation here man

well he has a sword
which is him
i dont pretend to know the details
then theres a god who people forget easily

[windeity]

ok.

i mean. yes, of course i do, since i did not think time travel was a thing but also i am not sure you would want to without wanting to die a little so i guess it can wait.
i'm not doing that explanation over text anyway.

a god.
this keeps getting stupider and stupider.
i was thinking i was starting to understand but that is totally not true anymore.

[parodeity]

its fine the worst part is people telling me
thats not how time travel works dave
fuck all of you do you have the red gear i dont fucking think so
my job is stupid but i know exactly how it works ok

yeah a god
idk if his memory bullshit will work on you and rose actually
i have no trouble remembering him but that could be because of my own bullshit
idk
dude in a tracksuit

[windeity]

are there other time travelers here? or are you our resident expert?
...it's really a job?

wait why is a god wearing a tracksuit?
that just sounds stupid. comfortable, but stupid.
are all gods designed to wear stupid comfortable clothes or?
anyway whatever.
so...that means rose and i probably have powers too? if his memory bullshit will probably not work on me and rose and you just told me you have powers.

[parodeity]

im the only one who can fuck with time right now to my knowledge
and i guess its more of a birthright

he has terrible fashion
also no
its more an educated guess to not working
it didnt on dirk either
idk if it works on anyone from home
maybe bc too much weird bullshit

[windeity]

"right now." maybe it will stay that way and you can own all of us in your time skills or something.

that is fair enough.
if i ever meet the tracksuit god i will let you know if i remember him or not.
i am definitely getting the impression that home was a weird place though.

[parodeity]

yeah maybe

his names yato
he has THE shittiest katana in the world
stg its worse than anything ive ever picked up
didnt break though so maybe not

[windeity]

yato the tracksuit god with a shitty katana. got it.
why are there so many people in this city equipped with swords?
when do i get MY sword?

[parodeity]

why the fuck would you get a sword
you definitely cannot be trusted with a blade

[windeity]

what the fuck.
you don't know that?
i could definitely handle a sword.

[parodeity]

dude youre not built for swordplay first the fuck of all
second the fuck of all dont try it with a real blade
if you dont know what youre doing and you fuck around with a weapon youre more liable to hurt yourself than you arent
we wouldnt want to cut up your hands would we
those are like moneymakers or whatever

[windeity]

what does that even mean? i have two hands and two arms and therefore i could hold a sword.
i do not have a real blade so i won't be trying anything?
don't be weird about my hands, they are not.

[There's a short lull.]

so i guess i can rule that out. whatever i fought with was not a sword. got it.

[parodeity]

holding a sword and using a sword are different things
and its not being weird just like
you can get some pretty nasty cuts with a sword if youre not careful
and youre literally the worlds biggest trouble magnet sometimes

[windeity]

it is both freaky and kind of cool that you actually know stuff like that.
but anyway, i could learn, maybe.
how long have you been using one then?

[parodeity]

since i was a kid

[windeity]

["But in which lifetime?"]

cool.
i have obviously never held a weapon, unless you count a baseball bat.
i am not counting that, obviously.
...weird question that i should have asked way sooner.
how many weapons are in our room?

[parodeity]

zero
im not in the room right now

[windeity]

sylladex then?
where are you today?

[parodeity]

strife specibus
and right this second im being an assistant manager

[windeity]

stuff i guess i will remember later.
but strife means to fight and specibus kinda looks like species, so i think i can guess based on context.

...you're being what now?

[parodeity]

its a special kind of captchalogue card

assistant manager
one of my jobs
kinda fucking bored rn tbh

[windeity]

oh.

i have no idea how you can be bored with multiple jobs.
want some company? i just got out of class.

[parodeity]

anyway thats not important the answer is i suppose when i am there
1 and 1 sixteenth weapons

sure

[ he gives literally like longitude and latitude coordinates but no directions or the actual name of enchanted blossoms. ]

[windeity]

a 1/16 of a weapon doesn't make sense.
not yet.
and okay, cool, i will be there in a bit.

[parodeity]

sord...

[ with that weird statement, dave proceeds to keep doing what he's doing: dicking around on his phone as he perches on a stool behind the counter at enchanted blossoms, shades still on and an apron over his usual jeans and sneakers, plus a name badge and a long-sleeved shirt for the store.

also there's still a cat in the store. mikoto's. ]