recollé ic inbox 3.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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Comments

[parodeity]

why the fuck would you get a sword
you definitely cannot be trusted with a blade

[windeity]

what the fuck.
you don't know that?
i could definitely handle a sword.

[parodeity]

dude youre not built for swordplay first the fuck of all
second the fuck of all dont try it with a real blade
if you dont know what youre doing and you fuck around with a weapon youre more liable to hurt yourself than you arent
we wouldnt want to cut up your hands would we
those are like moneymakers or whatever

[windeity]

what does that even mean? i have two hands and two arms and therefore i could hold a sword.
i do not have a real blade so i won't be trying anything?
don't be weird about my hands, they are not.

[There's a short lull.]

so i guess i can rule that out. whatever i fought with was not a sword. got it.

[parodeity]

holding a sword and using a sword are different things
and its not being weird just like
you can get some pretty nasty cuts with a sword if youre not careful
and youre literally the worlds biggest trouble magnet sometimes

[windeity]

it is both freaky and kind of cool that you actually know stuff like that.
but anyway, i could learn, maybe.
how long have you been using one then?

[parodeity]

since i was a kid

[windeity]

["But in which lifetime?"]

cool.
i have obviously never held a weapon, unless you count a baseball bat.
i am not counting that, obviously.
...weird question that i should have asked way sooner.
how many weapons are in our room?

[parodeity]

zero
im not in the room right now

[windeity]

sylladex then?
where are you today?

[parodeity]

strife specibus
and right this second im being an assistant manager

[windeity]

stuff i guess i will remember later.
but strife means to fight and specibus kinda looks like species, so i think i can guess based on context.

...you're being what now?

[parodeity]

its a special kind of captchalogue card

assistant manager
one of my jobs
kinda fucking bored rn tbh

[windeity]

oh.

i have no idea how you can be bored with multiple jobs.
want some company? i just got out of class.

[parodeity]

anyway thats not important the answer is i suppose when i am there
1 and 1 sixteenth weapons

sure

[ he gives literally like longitude and latitude coordinates but no directions or the actual name of enchanted blossoms. ]

[windeity]

a 1/16 of a weapon doesn't make sense.
not yet.
and okay, cool, i will be there in a bit.

[parodeity]

sord...

[ with that weird statement, dave proceeds to keep doing what he's doing: dicking around on his phone as he perches on a stool behind the counter at enchanted blossoms, shades still on and an apron over his usual jeans and sneakers, plus a name badge and a long-sleeved shirt for the store.

also there's still a cat in the store. mikoto's. ]

[windeity]

[He's not even going to answer that because. For fucks sake.

Still, not long after he'll figure out where the hell he's going and find himself in front of Enchanted Blossoms, staring at the building for a moment and squinting at the sign like maybe this is a prank. But okay. He'll enter and his eyes immediately track the cat's movements first before he looks up at Dave with a small grin.

He's also holding two cups of coffee.]

Out of everything, this was not really where I expected to find you today.

[parodeity]

...Was there another place you were expectin' to find me more?

[ john gets a faintly confused look, the barest crease of a brow, but dave can't remember anything particularly special about the date.

the cat will meow and probably hop up on the counter, apparently allowed to do such things? ]

Also, pretty sure it was my turn on the coffee, Eggs.

[windeity]

[He doesn't say anything for a moment, but he seems to be thinking. He also puts down one of the cups (pumpkin spice with caramel) before holding a hand out to let the cat sniff him? John likes cats, it's fine.]

No, not really. I was just surprised this is a flower shop. [There's a grin.] Just cover next time. I was picking up stuff for myself anyway.

[parodeity]

[ dave lets his phone drop into his sylladex, and reluctantly takes the coffee, although he does immediately drink it.

the cat, used to the adoration of the masses, purrs. ]

It was my original job.

[windeity]

[Egbert - 1, Strider - 0. He's pretty pleased that the cat's friendly and he's busy scratching behind its ears now despite the fact he's listening. Upon closer inspection, John kind of looks exhausted but that's not a big deal.]

Better than some of the jobs I've had in my life. It's so...colorful. [He's tilting his head to glance around the shop again.] Haven't set foot in one of these for a while.

[parodeity]

Yeah. Shifts are kinda competitive, the boss hires a lot of people. But.

[ he doesn't really...quit his jobs, these days? he just acquires more. the more he does, the less time he has to think.

except dave always, always has more time than he can while away. ]

He used to be network, but he didn't last long. Pretty sure Yato's still usin' a userpic of him, though.

[windeity]

And yet somehow you're an assistant manager at 17. [He leans with his back to the counter, hand petting the cat and face turned so he's half-facing Dave and half-looking at the shop. He's counting how many jobs Dave has and while timetravel makes sense, he's not sure he likes it.]

The tracksuit god? Weird. What's the other guy's name?

[parodeity]

I've worked here longest out of everyone he hired. [ calmly. also...does john even know all the jobs, PROBABLY NOT ]

Mikoto. He's around sometimes, but not today.