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[parodeity]

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[splinten]

[Dirk comes back with lots of food? Oats for IRON and apples and aj and water and oranges and oj for himself and some cold cuts because he has started making those for them and basically a ton of healthy things with sugar and iron because he has decided this is what Dave needs. He puts them down on the table and sits beside Dave.] I'll pet Macklemeow. You eat.

[parodeity]

You're seriously ok, though?

[ dirk is fretting about dave dave has not stopped fretting about dirk? he does pass the cat over though - said cat protests because? he was comfortable? that lap was his he CLAIMED it? - to trade for a cold cut. ]

[splinten]

I'm fine. It was just some annoying as fuck pain. [The nanites made it non-lethal, at which point it just became something that made him cranky.Which Dave didn't help, but Dirk starts petting Macklemeow which does help, and watching Dave eat food also helps.

He kinda figured if he died, Godtier would just heal all the injuries. He might have even tried it except Jake was there and Jake would freak out.]

[parodeity]

[ yeah that would have gone over swimmingly with everyone ]

A'ight, good. I've had burns before, I didn't want you to sit through 'em.

[ of course he's had burns before. like, putting aside his planet was mostly lava. ]

[splinten]

[See he could have hid it from everyone EXCEPT THAT HE WOULDN'T DO THAT ANYMORE, BECAUSE IT'S BAD. DAVE!!!]

From your Bro or from your planet? [He's frowning heavily because he thought Dave's Bro uses swords and—oh no his eyes widen.] Firecrackers and cherry bombs. Right.

[parodeity]

He liked shit that exploded. Like you. [ said completely without ire or even any judgement. it's not like it's that big a surprise, is it? ] But I got a few from the very heat-oriented baddies on lohac, yeah. And like, the lava.

[splinten]

[Dave says it without judgement but Dirk feels judgement down on himself. Even the things that shouldn't feel bad somehow feel wrong when they're put through Bro, and really, is a love of explosions exactly a positive trait? Dirk offers his hand to Macklemeow so he can request permission to pet a kitten.]

They're not great. Like I said, electrical burns are more worrying from my point of view.

[parodeity]

It wasn't enough to burn me. Just to incapacitate me for a few minutes. We handled it. The Bonesharks were more of a nuisance than the eels, tbh. And then the whole cave in shit. Kinda unsure why there's suddenly all this volcanic activity, but it can't be great news.

[splinten]

[...] Give that again, as a legitimate retelling with play-by-plays.

[parodeity]

Our coordinates took us somewhere I'm p sure was new. The eel things and Bonesharks were all over the damn place, and weren't huge fans of us. Some strife occurred. There was a wreck, and we found yet another stupid gun. Lots of dead fish near some lava geysers - they started up about two weeks back. Then Rose found us some caves and we looked around them but there were tremors while we were in there, so pieces of the ceilin' kept fallin' on us. And we found some weird machine.

[ still kind of hazy on the play by plays. ]

[splinten]

What kind of wreck, human or Kharaa? What kind of stupid gun, and what weird machine?

[This is the information part but Dave may notice Dirk carefully scrutinizing his head as if he could suss out signs of a possible concussion.]

[parodeity]

Human. I have the gun, it like...shoots stasis things. I dunno about the machine, Rose and I looked at it, shrugged, and threw it in a card.

[ THEY...are not the technological strilondes? ]

I felt like randomly pressin' buttons to suss out the purpose would be potentially stupid?

[ there is no sign of that, but it is probable that the cut on his cheek behind a bandaid came from dodging debris but still getting hit with a smaller portion. ]

[splinten]

You stole it. [....] Reasonable call. [Like he was going to get judgy but no, fair. He does lean over a little more now. Checking out the cheek wound. Now, going to take hold of the arm (gently) to look it over properly.]

[parodeity]

What, like anyone was gonna really mind? I can throw it out whenever you want to take a look and guess what it is. [ most of the cut on his cheek can't be seen behind a larger size bandaid! maybe like the edge. it's pretty standard for "hit with a rock". his left forearm has bandages wrapped around it still but looking under those if dirk wants to undo the efficient wrapping will just reveal a slice on his arm from presumably boneshark teeth.

that still brings the scratch count up to two only. ]

That was the plan to figure out what it was, anyway. [ "what the fuck is this" "dunno" "guess we'll ask dirk" ]

[splinten]

[Dirk isn't going to unwrap one or pull the other aside. However:]

Where's the third?

[parodeity]

[ dave makes a face and tugs his collar over. he got smacked on the back of his right shoulder with...presumably A Rock from the cave-in portion of his day? it's awkwardly angled enough he kind of slapped on a few bandaids and went Good Enough, though. only the top of his bandaid mess masterpiece can really be seen without making him lean or turn, but enough to go "why didn't you just timeloop a second dave to take care of the bandaging that" BECAUSE HE DIDN'T THINK OF IT UNTIL AFTER HE WAS DONE. ]

[splinten]

[...] I'm re-bandaging that. Immediately.

[parodeity]

Hey, I covered it up?? [ how very dare dirk not praise his - yeah no he would have insisted on the same thing. ]

[splinten]

[Dirk is waiting, Dave.]

[parodeity]

[ ...

he turns around and tugs his shirt up and off i guess after about two seconds of staring back. it's not a bad cut but he probably could have stood to like, clean it better, and there might be a little bit of rock in it still since he couldn't. reach. to do that. IT'S NOTHING MAJOR? IT'S A SCRATCH - dave strider, 2017 ]

[splinten]

You left rock—[There's a noise of pain.] You know the biggest danger for a cut like this is infection. [Presumably the med kit also has their usual stuff so he's going to be cleaning it out properly now??? because INFECTIONS ARE BAD???]

[parodeity]

I thought I got it all? [ craning his head to - yeah his head doesn't work like that this is the problem. ] It's not that big or bad.

[ he says, authoritatively, about a cut he cannot actually see, ]

[splinten]

You didn't, and it is. [Dirk glances at him.] Just keep eatin'. I'm takin' care of it. [Like TAKING OUT ROCKS!!! FROM IT!!! and then putting the antiseptic stuff on gently etc etc but jesus christ a ROCK LEFT IN IT]

[parodeity]

Still not as bad as full-body burns. [ HE FEELS LIKE that has to be said (it probably doesn't have to be said??????)

dave's on like his third cold cut between convos so he's at least eating markedly more than usual. as usual he doesn't flinch or move at all while dirk does whatever. ]

[splinten]

Which I went to you about the second I was finished necessary on-site treatment, and which I let you heal despite how I knew it'd affect you.

[Dave is being very badly behaved and has ZERO grounds when Dirk has been on his best possible behaviour.

Anyway yeah, all cleaned up and then he quickly does the bandaging. Dave can be released.]