subnautica ic inbox 4.0;

[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

I would personally appreciate it if you would endeavor to find the idea of you bein' beheaded more, like, unpalatable and uncomfortable?

[ AS AN ASIDE. ]

Uh. I don't know? Do you...want to hear about it? [ that's weird, dirk. or. not weird? ] Once I sped up your time into nothin'. It's never - I never want to.

[ that seems important to note. ]

[splinten]

I know you don't. They're nightmares. [He squeezes Dave's hand.] So that one. Was it losin' control of your powers, or was it somethin' else?

[parodeity]

Losin' control. [ a shrug. that's probably an easy fear to identify. ] You know, the kind of fucked up thing is I never dream about killin' Bro, though?

[splinten]

Why is that fucked up? It sounds like it's more or less psychologically impossible for you to imagine that, which makes perfect sense.

[parodeity]

Because...I love you?

[ so it'd be swell to stop dreaming about killing dirk instead of like, someone he's not hella fond of nowadays? ]

[splinten]

[Dirk... still gets hit by hearing it because he's a sucker. He rubs the back of his neck.] That being as it is, why would your mind, which is constantly anxious about losin' me, have nightmares about losin' him? It'd be preferable but it doesn't make sense when your mind is lookin' for something to slot into the 'super scary shit' buildin' block in your dream.

[parodeity]

...I feel that "to cut me some slack" should be a viable answer here?

[ maybe not one that makes sense or which will save him from stupid dreams but. it should be an answer. ]

But, okay. So I'm terrified of losin' you and hurtin' you. That ain't about to stop anytime soon, or like, ever.

[splinten]

Potentially, we could try to work it down from 'constant fear' to 'thing that is frightening when the possibility that comes up.' I think that's how this sort of thing is supposed to work.

[like he has no idea but he assumes]

[parodeity]

Ideas for that bein'? Also, how's the level on your side.

[ is dave doing better or worse by the stupid strider metric ]

[splinten]

Levels of what? I don't have nightmares.

[By the Strider Metric, Dirk is still kinda a hypocrite.]

[parodeity]

[ dave finds the energy to jab dirk in the ribs. not hard enough to jostle the cat though? ]

Terror of losin' and hurtin' me. How constant it is or isn't.

[splinten]

Ow. [He could have dodged that (could he have) BUT CAT]

How are we scalin' this?

[parodeity]

Dude. Stallin'. I've done it like five times today in this conversation alone, I do recognize it.

[splinten]

I don't usually worry about you coming to physical harm unless I know you're going out somewhere specifically. Even then, I tend not to worry about you dying until I hear that you've been hurt.

[He has moved from Dave's stalling tactic to his Very Specific Word Choice tactic. He knows he's going to be called out on it, yet.]

[parodeity]

I'm literally gonna sue you for copyright infringement.

[splinten]

It changes. [His monotone sounds slightly disgruntled so yeah it's the real answer.] Sometimes it gets stronger and sometimes I can mostly block it out. Its omnipresence at the back of my head is a thing.

[parodeity]

Ok, as long as we're both completely failin' take a fuckin' chill pill 101.

[ the metric rates them both as idiots. dave is not sure why he considered there was another option that was not that. ]

[splinten]

That particular pill is not even in our medicine cabinet. We've been written a prescription for it but we lost it in the wash.

[parodeity]

Do you think that's a thing we can actually do, though?

[splinten]

Chill, you mean? I think maybe, but with a lot of difficulty. We'd need to really commit to it and work on it.

Frankly, I don't particularly want to chill about you. I know I should, but it's discordant with how I feel.

[parodeity]

It's just hard to picture - not. [ not without the option where he shuts down to avoid doing it. ] After - you get why. You saw my room, I saw yours. But yeah. I think the normal person metric probably wants somethin', like, else.

[ abruptly: ]

I don't think I want to watch a movie after all.

[splinten]

[hilariously: there's a little fear that what Dave wants is to go away instead. He tries to quiet it.]

What do you want to do?

[parodeity]

You know how I've been goin' through all the music files you gave me piece by piece and what URSULA had on hand?

[ @ dave stop answering questions with questions ]

[splinten]

Yeah?

[This... probably doesn't mean he wants to leave Dirk? unsure anxious teenager]

[parodeity]

I'm not up for a Strider-style discourse on what we do or do not feel about things that did or did not happen. But I've been meanin' to ask you for a while - well, I've been considerin' askin' and tryin' to decide if I thought it was too weird and depressin' an activity, but I don't care right now, so. I don't want to marathon songs about that alone because I think that'd probably just get me stuck in my own head but I want to listen to them anyway. We can just do that until one or both of us passes out? Because maybe if I wasn't just doin' it alone that wouldn't happen.

[ "about that" is clear as ever, thanks dave, but at least he clearly stated the activity. ]