parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 3.0;

I figured.

[Dave kinda gave it away.]

Was it because. [Ugh. He swallows.] Was it because he didn't talk? [Was that it? Dirk tried to mitigate that. He tried to make noises and be careful when he flashstepped. He tried not to be a ghost, and to emote, and to show Dave he was still human. But there's a shadow and he doesn't know if he can ever get out of it.]

Or was it just not being able to talk?

Both. Neither. I couldn't always tell what you were gettin' at and I hated - guessing.

[ having to read the tiny clues desperately trying to keep up. he hated doing that, with anyone the past few days. dave hadn't even bothered trying to speak with rose. ]

I didn't want to play guessin' games. [ but yes, it was also not being able to talk. ] I don't know - it was just. Being a kid again? Not your problem.

You tried not to make me have to be a kid again.

[Dirk thinks? Dave would hit abscond but he'd also show up for things. They didn't miss movie night. Dave was tense but he also tried not to let Dirk be totally alone.]

Well, yeah.

[ obviously. he promised to show up to movie night when he agreed to those and wouldn't skip. but more than that, there was no reason to make dirk feel like crap and every reason not to do that.

it's hard to hit hard abscond when he's aware that's dirk's trigger. so he'd made himself show up and do things and exist. ]

That upsets you.

I appreciate it a lot. [He wants Dave to know that. He means it.] It isn't fair or helpful for you to have to torture yourself for me, either. Part of the agreement was you can hit abscond if you need to. Maybe we need a code or a symbol or something that will tell you when it happens, since a verbal statement didn't really work here.

I'm okay if you have to leave, bro. I just need to know you aren't leaving forever. It's... important to me, to know you're doing what you need for yourself, too.

I mean, I would've been torturin' myself one way or another. But sure. I can...abscond next time. If that's what would be best?

[ he's genuinely not sure. dave shakes his head, lets it go. ]

I missed talkin' to you, too. Let's just leave it at that?

What's best would be what hurts you the least. If it's torture either way, I guess... make the call that seems best for what you need?

[Dave wants to leave it, though. Dirk nods.]

Okay. We can leave it at that.

A'ight. [ dave breathes out slow and struggles with the temptation to tell dirk to ditch him and go hang out with people who can say genuinely they're thrilled without weird undertones.

he'd try that, but dirk would probably not accept it. so he simply drops the issue entirely. ]

Movie?

[The Rose thing. Dave didn't explain the Rose thing. Dirk watches him (his shades were off before he got down here) with brows just suggesting a frown.]

Okay. Did you mean it when you said you wanted to monopolize my time?

[ dirk would have to remind him. he forgot. ]

Uh. Yeah. I get if you...want to go anywhere else? [ a snort of laughter. ] Sorry. Out of habit.

[ talking to people and actually telling them things, he means. not like dave is ever very in habit. ]

Yeah, I worried about that. [He is being quiet, the way he gets when he's trying to work things out. It means he isn't his most open emotionally, and after a minute he realizes that.] I'm not doin' the shut down thing. Or, I don't mean to be. I just... am tryin' to make sure I fully grasp the situation, before I do something stupid like attempt mind-reading and make a bad judgement call.

You genuinely want to hang out with me, but talkin' with me about things still feels a little strange. So talkin' about the thing with me and Rose is something you'd prefer not to try right now.

Is that all correct?

The - what, no. You didn't get that still? Uh.

[ the rose thing. right. ]

You both talk like - not people. Not meanin' offense. You're all big words and stilted phrases and ridiculous explanations. If it were anyone else, it'd feel -

[ robotic? not the word he wants. ]

The thing is, I spent so long with Rose that stilted doesn't sound stilted. She's not even when she sounds it.

[Huh. Dirk can fill in the word easily. It isn't like it's the only time it's been tossed his way. But that isn't what Dave means.]

Okay. That's all that was?

It's just funny.

[ funny weird, funny hilarious. ]

The way you two are. Sometimes it makes me think I could read like old ridiculous academic texts and they'd be infused with warmth or somethin'. It was a nonsense chain of thought.

[Oh.

Well. That makes him smile a little. It doesn't address the bit about not liking him if he weren't like Rose, but... maybe that's okay right now.]

We can try one out sometime.

Movie tonight, and then hangin' out all tomorrow?

[ DIRK, JUST ASK. HE MEANT "you sans it" as a full concept, not "you" without the thing.

he meant not talking at all. ]

Sure. What did you want to do?

There are exactly zero things I have in mind.

[He just. missed Dave.]

Go salvage shit, I guess?

[ to pretend to be productive. ]

Maybe we can find Unreal Air. [Wherever it went off to.]

It's probably in space by now.

[ MAYBE ]

Do you actually wanna read an academic text, though?

[Doop. That feels like a trick question somehow.]

I wouldn't object to it? I... like doing things with you.

[He would read an academic text at Dave for fun.]

Can we do that instead of a movie?

[ IT'S NOT A TRICK QUESTION, APPARENTLY. IT'S JUST a weird question. ]

[...]

Yeah, sure. That genuinely seems like a fun thing to do. [He would actually??? enjoy this????

why the fuck would dave like it though]

[ easy way to get dirk to talk to him for a long period of time without needing to get back into the swing of talking about things immediately: GET DIRK TO READ AN ACADEMIC TEXT AT HIM

shut up it's a BRILLIANT plan ]

We could pick one of those science books or math books or whatever that's on the scholastic to do list.

[k but dirk does expect at least a few incredibly stupid jokes or he'll be heartbroken.]

One we both need to learn, maybe?

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