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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

Yeah. For...whatever the fuck I'd go to school for.

[splinten]

It would fix it if were in the same classes learning together. [He cannot keep to a professor's pace but he can stay at Dave's side no problem.]

[parodeity]

I wouldn't mind attendin' school together. I mean, not that we ever will, but that would've been cool.

[ another one of those mundane things that's too impossible to bother thinking about. ]

[splinten]

We're kinda doing it now. [The hand that isn't occupied holding Dave taps the paper.] Ready to start microbiology 101?

[parodeity]

You know it. Hit me, teach. [ seriously though he won't last more than a few chapters. though a few bad jokes will probably be made before he nods off? ]

[splinten]

[What an exciting adventure in microbiology. Dirk will keep reading until Dave nods off? He approves of Dave getting sleep so he doesn't mind just kinda shutting his eyes and zoning out once Dave decides to nap.]

[parodeity]

[ dave will have retained like ZERO PERCENT of this lecture btw. sorry dirk. how long is dirk going to sit here. is it going to be however long dave naps. dirk why are you an idiot??? ]

[splinten]

[see it's clear you know the answer already from your words. dave can nap as long as he wants and dirk will not move.]

[parodeity]

[ what if dave sleeps through dinnertime. will dirk move then???? because that's about to happen. i have to know which nagging concern wins out: sleep or food. ]

[splinten]

[sleep, obv. he'll make dave eat after. food is usually easier than sleep]

[parodeity]

[ hey

i mean that's fair and true, unless dave just isn't hungry. ok in that case dirk gets to sit there zoning out for about five and a half hours. dave...did not actually sleep through last night did he. he definitely just played on his communicator, didn't he. ]

[splinten]

[what a surprise. but yeah, he can zone out for like five and a half hours. this is dirk. he can zone out for centuries.]

[parodeity]

[ dirk you're a weirdo. that said when dave wakes up all that'll change is his breathing since he's not going to move? he will open his eyes though. ]

[splinten]

[Dirk notices it, though. He manages to pull out of his zoning out.]

Good mornin', sunshine.

[It is of course not morning.]

[parodeity]

It's not mornin', darlin'.

[ dumb mocking name for dumb mocking name??? don't play don't call him sunshine actually he doesn't really. care. but instinct leads him to throw something ridiculous back. ]

Sorry. [ about dozing off, not about the lazy return. ok, sitting up straight and rolling his neck around, disgruntled. ] Microbiology is not my forte, apparently.

[ ALTERNATELY: DAVE NEEDED SLEEP? ]

[splinten]

Yes. It was definitely microbiology, and not a lack of sleep.

[Dirk totally believes this. When Dave straightens up, Dirk stretches out a probably numb limb. Once again.]

[parodeity]

Glad we're agreed that is definitely the case.

[ .........dirk. stop letting dave fall asleep on you? ]

You can like wake me up or get me to move to the bedroom when I fall asleep on you, y'know.

[splinten]

I am aware of that fact.

[And yet.]

[parodeity]

So next time you're gonna do that?

[ he realizes this will not happen, and also, if dirk by SOME FUCKING MIRACLE fell asleep on him ever dave would not so much as breathe. ]

[splinten]

No. But I'm aware I could if I wanted to.

[dwi dave]

[parodeity]

So, do you know what caused the whole...thing.

[ abrupt topic change since he WON'T WIN THAT DISCUSSION ]

[splinten]

Sort of. I'm not sure. I managed to find a weird bug that deleted a few lines of coding that didn't do anything. When I restored it, it didn't make much of a difference.The weird thing is, I have no idea how that bug got there. I looked around for possible ways it could have breached her system and all the security measures should have prevented it.

[Dirk is... genuinely uneasy because of this. Is it ISHMAEL? Is it something with how URSULA herself works? He doesn't know and that means he can't stop it.]

Whether or not that had anything to do with the malfunction, I don't know.

[parodeity]

Do you think it might be our rogue AI?

[ no change in the monotone, but dave's brow furrows just a hair. ]

[splinten]

I don't know. It's a weirdass thing for a rogue AI to suddenly do.

[parodeity]

I mean, yes. Unless it was just testin' the waters.