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[parodeity]

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[splinten]

There are exactly zero things I have in mind.

[He just. missed Dave.]

[parodeity]

Go salvage shit, I guess?

[ to pretend to be productive. ]

[splinten]

Maybe we can find Unreal Air. [Wherever it went off to.]

[parodeity]

It's probably in space by now.

[ MAYBE ]

Do you actually wanna read an academic text, though?

[splinten]

[Doop. That feels like a trick question somehow.]

I wouldn't object to it? I... like doing things with you.

[He would read an academic text at Dave for fun.]

[parodeity]

Can we do that instead of a movie?

[ IT'S NOT A TRICK QUESTION, APPARENTLY. IT'S JUST a weird question. ]

[splinten]

[...]

Yeah, sure. That genuinely seems like a fun thing to do. [He would actually??? enjoy this????

why the fuck would dave like it though]

[parodeity]

[ easy way to get dirk to talk to him for a long period of time without needing to get back into the swing of talking about things immediately: GET DIRK TO READ AN ACADEMIC TEXT AT HIM

shut up it's a BRILLIANT plan ]

We could pick one of those science books or math books or whatever that's on the scholastic to do list.

[splinten]

[k but dirk does expect at least a few incredibly stupid jokes or he'll be heartbroken.]

One we both need to learn, maybe?

[parodeity]

Dealer's choice. You're, uh, the guy in charge of textbooks?

[ also dirk knows better what they need to share. ]

Though I think Professor would be more my gig than yours, with the apple thing.

[splinten]

You'd be a better Professor than me. [That isn't saying much? Dirk'd be an awful professor. Anyway he'll go get the textbook? Probably one of the science ones since Dirk is not really on top of the non-mechanical sciences.]

[parodeity]

You're not that bad at explainin' shit. You walked me through a bunch of mechanical shit without killin' me or bitin' my head off.

[ said stubbornly. dave will...relocate to the couch, THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. ]

[splinten]

You are settin' way too low a bar for me here. I meant more in terms of your frequent accusations that I'm an anarchist. You're an awesome teacher, and slightly less likely to throw exam papers in the Dean's face while lecturing on the systemic flaws of post-secondary education.

[He sits beside Dave. Flips open the textbook. Because apparently they're gonna do storytime?]

[parodeity]

Aren't you pretty much an anarchist by your own admission?

[ dave drops his head to dirk's shoulder, shuts his eyes. there's an 80% chance he'll fall asleep a few chapters in. ]

What're the systemic flaws of post-secondary education?

[splinten]

[Well that feels nice. Dirk slings an arm around Dave's shoulder. Dave is allowed to nap during Dirk's talking, although when he does wake up he will be required to have dinner at some point.]

Which category? We can look at the groups it disadvantages in terms of social backgrounds, like race or class, or how it doesn't function except for very specific kinds of learning capacities. We could go into the problems with corporatization and the for-profit university. Then there's the issues in terms of academic freedom and dialogue between different communities.

[He was bored on the Internet one time and now here we are.]

Broadly speaking, it has the same major flaws of any institution: it attempts to systemize for maximum efficiency based on what it determines as average. There are always biases in how averageness is determined, and invariably those who don't fit are either forced to conform or find themselves significantly disadvantaged, often leading to long-term negative consequences in life, because of their inability to fully integrate.

[parodeity]

[ dirk please don't just sit there reading and not moving while dave dozes???? like dave wouldn't do the same fucking thing ]

Any category. How would you have fixed it, then?

[ it's so much easier to just talk about shit that will never matter ever, or trying not to apologize again and again. ]

[splinten]

That depends. What function would I fix it for? Is it the Enlightenment goal passed down to the universities of the 19th century to produce a more educated, well-rounded population better able to make decisions and govern themselves? Or is this about trainin' people in trades and professions so that they have the necessary qualifications that ensure uniform quality of services in a post-industrial society?

[At least Dirk is happy right now? Dave can surely tell that he's feeling comfortable and content just sitting with Dave.]

[parodeity]

[ that's something. dave always prefers it when dirk is happy, regardless of his own mess of emotions. his breathing is an even pattern, but he's awake. ]

Fix it so you'd want to go there.

[splinten]

[It's always relaxing to hear Dave's breathing calm.]

Coursework would have to be gone. It'd be more like a place to engage with people who are engaged with and knowledgeable about the fields you're interested in. I'd want access to resources and total control over my own time, and then like... maybe clubs would be okay? It's hard to say. I can get uncomfortable when there's too much interaction.

Resources and self-determination would be the most important thing to me.

[parodeity]

[ dirk is happy and relaxed. that's always going to be good enough. ]

What about evaluations? To like, figure out where you are or your understandin'. We had to look through those when we flipped through the textbooks.

[splinten]

[not?? to dirk??? if he knew???

But he is giving Dave a break, because he is worried Dave can't handle much more. If Dave at least is where he wants to be, as he insisted he was, then Dirk will be fine.

If he isn't... well, Dirk always wishes he could better tell exactly what Dave needs. But he's trying.]

I have basically no interest in that kind of thing. About the only assessments I've ever cared about are your feedback on how I'm doing. I don't like the idea of systemising that; it doesn't fit how I learn.

[parodeity]

[ ok?? but it is?? to dave?????

calm and exhausted is Close Enough don't judge ]

So that means I'm gonna me takin' all the quizzes on my own, I assume. I'll make sure to bring my own pencils.

[splinten]

I'll take them with you. We can grade each other's tests.

[parodeity]

You just said you don't like the idea of test and also have no interest in them, dude.

[splinten]

It's different as a thing we do together.

[Somehow?? it is to Dirk]

It becomes fun.