parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 3.0;

I was honest with you about my wariness and uncertainty about the Kharaa.

[But then had to like them... because Dave did]

You never once said you disliked them to my face.

[ HE'S PRETTY SURE? ]

And I never said to you that I trusted or liked certain people on that list. I just didn't say otherwise.

[Hm.] 'Certain people.' [He's now trying to remember if Dave ever lied to him about these people.]

I'll help you out. I avoided giving an opinion on them or talked about your opinion on them.

[ at most he would have said they were "fine". ]

So no blatant lies? Thanks.

[why does Dave get a hair ruffle for this.

why are Dirk's Cookie Monster cookies so hyperrealistic]

You already put up with enough shit as a result of this without it startin' to effect people or things you enjoy even more.

[ this still being their relationship? lmao. ]

We have chocolate chips.

What's 'this'? And what 'shit' are you referrin' to?

[Ah yes, the defensive Southernness.]

...Okay? [Yay they have chocolate chips?]

Us. And my issues.

[ o b v i o u s l y. this time he doesn't immediately call dirk on his defensive southernness. ]

Do you or do you not want cookies?

I don't want cookies, and you seriously under-appreciate the positive impact you have on my life.

Dude, I'm pretty sure you're craving chocolate chip cookies?

[ HE SENSES IT no seriously those cookies are way too well drawn? ]

And maybe I do, but I don't think I'm off the mark that I do have a negative one, too.

I'm contrasting the hyperrealism of the cookies with the cartoonishness of the Cookie Monster.

[It's art.]

Obviously you've hurt me and we've had disagreements, and I've hurt you back. Do you think I've been bad for you though? Because my opinion is that you've been good for me.

Ok, maybe that's the case re: cookies, but I think you just want some. Am I wrong?

[ he could be, but.

dave hums in thought. ]

I didn't say you haven't been. But I do think, like I thought back then, that no one deserves to have to listen to shit about...what I think or went through or any of it. I think it puts things on you that you shouldn't have to have on you. I do think your life would be better if I omitted that shit and you got the filtered crap and the good effects that would come from that. I'm not sayin' I will, but I do think that every time you find out anythin' else it just makes shit harder on you, and you don't deserve it. Probably it would be healthier if you didn't have to go through it.

I wouldn't say 'no' to cookies.

[Cookies are cool? But.]

It's a lot to handle. I'm not going to argue with that. It was a heavy thing to get confronted with. The thing is, when we talked, I'd basically decided I was an inherently toxic person who shouldn't be around anyone because all I was capable of was hurting them. You gave me a critique of the things I was anxious about, but it was fair-minded, and it allowed for a difference between me and the worst version of myself. I thought I already was that worst version, but you showed me that there was space for me to be someone else. Going from that, the more I learn, the easier it is for me to understand and assess myself more fairly. I've been able to become a person I kinda like, and that's because of you.

Because you want them.

[ he will. respond to the other thing in a second they have to nail down this cookie thing here first clearly? ]

[Dave. Why. Dirk looks at him for a moment because dammit.]

Yes.

Why didn't you just say so?

[ THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A SENTENCE HE, DAVE STRIDER, SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAY TO ANYONE EVER IN ANY FAIRNESS BUT. whatever he is saying it! ]

[This time Dirk just looks him dead in the eyes.

Because yeah, what the brackets said.]

We could've been makin' 'em if you'd said so.

[ casually ignoring all brackets since forever ]

We were drawin'. It isn't urgent.

It never stopped bein' unfair.

[ a pause. he's abruptly not talking about cookies any longer, sorry dirk. ]

It wasn't fair when I went off on you back then, and I knew it and said so, not matter what you thought about it. You though it was fair, I think, because you tried ot take responsibility that wasn't even yours. But it has never stopped bein' unfair when any of it leans on you. It never gets less heavy. And you're not really the person it should be on. No one actually is. If it's helped you in some ways, that's great. But maybe it doesn't always.

[ ... ]

I'm not really goin' anywhere with this. It's just pointless bullshit.

[Dirk frowns. But it's gentle. He is trying to listen, he really is. He doesn't agree but he wants to listen and understand like Dave asked him to.]

How do you think it's hurt?

You worry about things that you shouldn't have to? Mostly.

[ dirk shouldn't have to be careful about jagged edges and broken pieces when none of it had anything to do with him - not really. it was all bro, or dave, or the things inbetween, and dirk hadn't had a single thing to do with any of it. ]

It's a lot to handle, you just said so. And I worry it's going to wear you out.

Nah. Endurance is my best stat. [He takes Dave's hand in his.] I've mentioned before that I enjoy worrying. It comes with caring, and I'm grateful that I get to care about you like this.

You have. But...

[ dave will allow the handholding and just trails off. ]

Seriously, nevermind. Idk where I was goin' with this, it barely matters.

[Dirk is quiet with it for a moment. He thinks he might understand.]

Are you scared that all these things are gonna wear out my love for you?

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