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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

[ he stubbornly splits it in half and hands dirk half, so. ]

I mean, yes. I don't think anyone else had much luck spyin' on our place, actually. [ most human beings do not move as quickly as dave or dirk or bro do. and dave's pretty sure bro would have taken care of anyone intruding on his privacy. ] But it wasn't like nosy neighbors weren't a thing that happened to other people.

[ just like. other people. ]

Would you actually be able to survive goin' low tech?

[splinten]

You mean like throwing us back into the 1600s? I would end up going full Da Vinci in horror.

[Fuck this time to go steampunk, he refuses to be low tech]

[parodeity]

Probably not my thing, either, but it might not be all bad.

[ but honestly he would just put up with kind of whatever, so. complain? sure maybe. but put up with it. ]

Just, you know, mostly bad. I'm not sure what you're supposed to do to waste time when you can't get a direct iv of bad movies and good music. Sit around a campfire and share stories with friends? Go like, chop down trees? This is why shit like marbles was popular at some point, isn't it.

[splinten]

This is why ancient sports are more fatal than modern ones.

[Dirk is not overreacting to the consequence of No Tech.]

[parodeity]

I'm reasonably sure there are other answers for that. Like, you know, killing people for fun and profit becoming illegal as history progressed, for whatever reason.

[ sure he isn't ]

Kinda doubt I'd find ancient sports all that much more compellin' than modern ones, honestly. The pursuit of the ball eludes me. It's there, in like a million different forms, and then you get it, and you like...what. Try to keep it the fuck away from you or try to keep it close, and then like, you get a point I guess??? And you have to interact with it in like all these weird different ways like hello good sir since this is THIS sport I'm not gonna touch you at all because that'd be weird as fuck but since we're in THIS sport I'm gonna rub my grubby sweaty hands all over your body and then chuck you away as soon as I'm done? Why is it such a big deal to have the ball when you gotta like go make some big PLAY for it, why does that MATTER? I get that it does but I don't get why it does.

[splinten]

[Okay, Dirk's overreacting to lowtech but Dave's overreacting to sports.]

We could go into the psychology behind why humans assign value to games if you really wanted.

[parodeity]

Be honest: is there anything else you want more right this second than to go into that.

[ like

dirk really wants to go into the psychology behind why humans assign value to games now that he said it, doesn't he. ]

[splinten]

For you to eat a whole apple.

[Dave said be honest.]

[parodeity]

But after that.

[ also, he aims a kick for dirk's ankle? ]

You may as well. I asked Rose to literally classpect ramble at me as a distraction earlier and it kinda worked for a bit. Also, we both know you actually have a response prepped you're dyin' to give.

[splinten]

[Ow that ... doesn't hurt at all and Dirk lets it hit but really. Not painful when they're just sitting around like this.]

It isn't prepped. [But it is based on hours of thinking things at himself while isolated from other human companionship so.] If we take games as defined as interactive, goal-oriented, and involving other agents, then we can understand them as meeting different needs. As interactive activities, they allow the exercise of various faculties and a sense of one's own control or capabilities in the event. You can develop in response into a game or test your own limits. That ties into the goal-orientation, which is to say that gaming offers a clear sense of what constitutes as achievement or otherwise. One of the primary addictive components to gaming is its ability to offer clear goals with distinct rewards that create pleasure responses. By involving other agents, you can either compete against others, which gives a sense of further triumph and power, or you can cooperate with others, which is community-building. Both of these possibilities stimulate specific needs we have as a species that is highly reliant on social interaction. Especially in games like sports, which are both cooperative and oppositional, we can develop a more powerful sense of community by building up and working against another community.

In other words, playing a game engages in several basic human behaviours that mirror our impetus towards skill-developing, community-building, and survival-training. They provide relatively safe environments for the emulation of the more hostile kinds of interactions that would be experienced outside of a game and therefore have high value as developmental activities, and our brains reward us for it.

Many species engage in some kind of play as training. It's pretty visible in any of the species you've adopted. Play's a pretty big deal for the Magister's development as a social creature and for his motorskills and intellectual functioning. That's the whole reasoning behind the sand thing.

Basically, humans value play because play is valuable to us. Over millennia of social development, we heaped further value and meaning onto activities the same way we do with any element of culture. Mastery of each specific sport demonstrates and answers mastery of specific kinds of competency in the game, but also competency in the culture and rituals surrounding that game and admission to its community.

[and yet: dirk cannot Sport]

[parodeity]

It's prepped. The second you brought it up you did wanna share it, didn't you? Like when you explained the history behind keys to cities and shit.

[ he Knows this has to be true because dirk and rose think all these things up but that is not enough? they have to like, share their ridiculous things. dave can actually relate, he just feels the need to ramble about actual issues or historical facts a lot less frequent than he does the need to like, address more inane topics. ]

Ok, but like. Goalies can pick up balls, right? Why don't they just, like, keep them.

[ this has almost nothing to do with anything dirk just said. actually, it DOES have nothing to do with what dirk just said. ]

Also does winnin' shit really matter that much in the long run? I mean I guess maybe I would prefer team sports, if I had an interest, which I do not. Like I think I said I used to want to be the big man on court in like most of the media in which I interacted and occasionally to Rose but I don't think that image is ever really one that appeals. Being the dude who slam dunks a thing through a net or the tallest guy with the sickest ballgame? What's the point, really. Even back then - you go out and people are awed and shit and trippin' over themselves left and right to kiss your feet or whatever the fuck the cultural dream is here, and triumph and power and whatever but like...

All that shit aside you did not actually address the human obsession with balls. I feel that is an issue which needs to be addressed. Why're all the sports about balls???

[ i'm not sure why dirk is trying to have this conversation with dave. he could probably discuss this at a higher level, but instead he keeps distracting himself with dumb shit. ]

[splinten]

That's not the same as prepared.

[Dirk is having this conversation with Dave because 1) He'll have any conversation with Dave and 2) he's worried about Dave and will do whatever to stick around and keep an eye on him. Including: this.]

It'd make for a boring game if the goalie just grabbed the ball and kept it. All interactivity would end the instant the goalie got one in their hands. So they put in an arbitrary rule to make that not a thing so they can keep playing the ball game. [Also he just trusts goalies can pick up balls, he doesn't know. Are goalies a volleyball thing? Probably.]

That's because you don't have any aspirational desire to be the very best. [Beat] Two Pokemon references in two days is weird. The point is that you are prone to cooperation rather than competition. You're not obsessed with victory or being at the top of your field. Any games I program for you would probably be egg-collecting and pet-caretaking. Animal Crossing stuff, not Mortal Kombat. Your gaming preferences aren't towards those particular goals.

Do you want the real answers about balls or the fake one?

[parodeity]

That's exactly the same as prepared. You don't need visual aids to dissert, dude.

[ well??? can dirk even see when dave tenses up when he's determinedly casual body language wise??? for dumb portal things periodically. he's mostly pretending that is not still a thing, for no...real cause...

dave is pretty sure goalies are a hockey-specific thing

which has...a ball???? and some guys?????? as sports do?????? nets ]

Are you indicatin' you want to watch Pokemon or somethin', I'm startin' to become concerned. Also, what kind of eggs and pets? Also-also, I obviously want both the real answers and the fake one? Whichever one is funniest second.

[splinten]

[Probably not but he now knows they're happening? and at least knows the signs.]

You should lie back down on the warm towel [tension-reduction] and I'll tell you stories about balls.

[why is this family]

[parodeity]

I'm lyin' down. And fine? Next order of business is like. Magister's safety, then whatever else is on my itinerary.

[ AVOIDING SLEEP, AGAIN,,, OR PASSING OUT this is a dumb itinerary. ]

You answered absolutely none of my questions.

[splinten]

[Dirk makes his unimpressed face. But Fine.]

Balls are ideal because of the possibilities of interaction. Round shape means they move on their own if they hit the ground with momentum. Points of contact are basically the same no matter the direction of the ball and they can be handled with feet or hands easily.

Also, testicles.

[He is looking down on Dave like he is Quietly Fretting but knows he can't do anything else. But still fretting!]

[parodeity]

That was the story stuff, not any of my question answers.

[ also he will very helpfully sit up, stretching and rolling his shoulders for a second before nudging dirk. ]

Okay, off. What do you need for plan stuff? Also if I ever make a sport it's gonna have a triangle.

[splinten]

[There's a small noise of displeasure but Dirk obligingly gets out of bed and moves away at a sufficiently wide distance that, once again, Dave could stop an attack without even needing to flashstep.]

Not really anything. Some time with a computer to set up the schematics.

[He tapes his shades. He has a computer always, even if it isn't the easiest thing to work out plans with.]

[parodeity]

Oh. Yeah okay I only have my like...portable shit.

[ so there was probably no reason to make dirk move.

...

HE SHOULD...JUST LIE BACK DOWN...and yet he won't. ]

Ok. Uh. I will be quiet?

[splinten]

You don't want me to leave to work?

[Dirk just. Assumed this? He's still standing a good few feet away though but if Dave gives him the okay he will just... sit there on the ground.]

[parodeity]

If that helps you, you can? Whatever gets it done soonest so I can flip things. They didn't touch Homura or me but if they like stop being just observers or even if they leave a portal open too long...

[ well. ]

I'd feel like a better guardian were it all done today.

[splinten]

Don't worry about not talking. It's more familiar if you do.

[So Dirk just. sits on the floor, yeah.]

[parodeity]

Oh. What do you want me to talk about?

[ dave is just standing here like an idiot ]

[splinten]

Whatever you want? You should maybe lie down though, or at least take the hot towel and leave it on your shoulders and neck while you're at home.

[Wow they're idiots.]

[parodeity]

[ he will. sit down on the floor by his bed and lean back against it actually. ]

Ok but do you have like a topic. Or a question. The floor is open to dumb questions.