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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[parodeity]

I. [ he normally has more words than this where the fuck did they all go? ] Jesus fuckin’ christ am I not reading this music wrong or am I, you give me so many headaches. You’re like this asshole who finds the most drunk person in the vicinity of a bar and you like follow around after them with like a pair of coconuts - you know, Monty Python style? - and you like bang them happily together right by drunk victim numero uno’s head and he’s like will you fuck off but no, a level one headache is not enough so you keep following him all the way back to his apartment and turn on all the lights and the tv and you pump the bass and the volume and put on the most sugary high pitched voice acted kid’s cartoon you can find and then you perch on the end of the bed singing the theme to that one show with a sea sponge nonstop until daybreak -

[ ah there are the words.

give him like ten more seconds here ]

[windeity]

Serenade and Unrequited. [Fuck you, Dave Strider. He looks annoyed, frankly, but at least he can answer the question about the music while Dave's on a goddamn tangent.]

[parodeity]

[ there’s a fairly indignant noise at being interrupted (wise because he would have gone on like that for. a while) combined with his generalized reaction to the title and his feelings coalesce into “fuck it” and “excuse you” simultaneously so he looks annoyed, too? this is going so well.

his hand snaps out in that way too fast manner he has and yanks on john’s tie to haul him closer and this time dave kisses john and it is primarily exasperated and he will think better of this in five seconds but that is a problem for very slightly future dave.

why is this happening while he’s in a terrible cardigan and still has a video camera running.

very slightly future dave becomes present dave and he lets go of john’s tie and leans back and hates himself a little? ]

[windeity]

[There's a very surprised noise when Dave yanks on him but he catches himself enough to rest his hands on Dave's shoulders and...kiss back? Awkwardly? He's trying and he's confused and he's also a little more than ecstatic suddenly which is a Mess so he allows this to occur before Dave pulls back.

He doesn't let go of Dave's shoulders.]

...oh. [...OKAY.]

[parodeity]

[ NOW WHAT his plan wasn’t any less flimsy than john’s, fuck. and he took off the shades so his eyes are obviously a little wide. dave has...some regrets...

ummmm. ]

... [ words - ] So I think after the headache thing you must have like, mastered that, and moved on to slowly drivin’ people up the wall through a series of intricate but obscure methodologies such as -

[ words that aren’t a ramble? no? Ok. but john hasn’t let go so dave doesn’t move away. ]

[windeity]

You kissed me. [This sounds hilariously accusatory considering he started the whole thing.]

[parodeity]

You kissed me first!!! [ yeah gotta side with the meta text on this one ]

[windeity]

You're the one who was talking about pushing my luck!! [I'm glad their first instinct is to argue about it.] I told you I had no plans to ruin your birthday and you were like "yo dude it's cool you won't" and! [WAVING HIS HANDS?]

[parodeity]

How is it my fault you’re awkward at kissing! [ that isn’t the problem here ] Also your me impression sucks what the fuck?

[windeity]

Shut the fuck up, I am just out of practice! [With kissing or his Dave impression, we just don't know.]

[parodeity]

I am not convinced you were ever in practice. [ with either!!!

this is quickly getting stupid.

er. Stupider. ]

[windeity]

I had a girlfriend for a few years, what the fuck do you think I did? [He's borderline pouting.] See if I ever kiss you again if you are going to critique my skills.

[...not taking it too seriously makes it a little less scary, maybe.]

[parodeity]

Kiss her awkwardly. [ dryly. and now he can’t tell if that was okay again. ] ...sorry.

[windeity]

...I have been trying to tell you that I think you underestimate how much I like you. So. [A shrug.] But we can ignore it for right now.

[parodeity]

...if you want to. I shouldn’t have - I know better than to touch you. Sorry.

[windeity]

You're not listening. I like. Want you to touch me. Okay? I want...I don't know what I want, but I like everything that we have right now and I really just want to kiss you again which is really kind of terrifying in its own way but it is a thing that happened and I am sorry this happened when you didn't need it.

[parodeity]

[ ok lets ignore most of that and eye john cautiously and for once john can track the movement. don’t get used to that ]

You want me to touch you. [ he means holding hands and leaning against john and shit and why is this a priority ]

[windeity]

[He likes being able to see though? But okay. What if he doesn't verbally respond and he just plays the opening bit of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" on the keys?

Are either of them going to remember this entire thing is being recorded on Dave's camera.]

[parodeity]

[ dave might eventually but nah more important concerns. ]

You let go a lot or don’t reach out first. [ it’s not accusatory he’s just literally trying to figure out wtf john wants him to do. he’s slouched forward now, uncertain. ]

[windeity]

I know. I am still just...[A shrug?] I am not used to...[How do you phrase this.] It's just that...

[It's literally just that Dave is a guy and also John's never sure if Dave accepts his affections because he's affection-starved or because he likes John and he's cautious in that regard.]

It is hard to tell with you sometimes.

[parodeity]

...offer to pretend this never happened is still open. I just. [ might not trust himself touching john for a while but that’s not personal. ] You said you wanted time.

[ he scrubs at his face and realizes the shades are missing and flips them back out. ]

...I can keep my hands and thoughts to myself, no big.

[windeity]

I really like you. [It's quiet, but he's very firm about that.] I just am not sure what to do next.

[parodeity]

[ oh. those are words dave has specifically not said for very specific reasons and he bites his lip and stares and tries to figure it out. the actual good advice he’s managed to get over the course of his life is there to be taken still.

ughhhhh. ]

... [ .... ] I’m really into you. I am attempting not to put it stupidly. [ like by just repeating song lyrics. ] ...I don’t know, it doesn’t matter right now [ he means until john figures out whatever the hell he wants to do and maybe dave should acknowledge he needs to do something similar but. ] but can you like...

[windeity]

[The words are right, but it still sounds off and he's unsure what to say. He's quiet again.]

...can I what? [At least they've established they like each other but a lot of good that'll do right this second.]

[parodeity]

Before we like add this to the list of things we never talk about. [ which he assumes they are doing because he apparently still intends to just give john time or whatever ] Will you actually kiss me properly. Or let me kiss you.

[ ...that sounds stupid but like in case John changes his mind or in case they permanently never talk about it. both of which seem possible. ]

You can say no. [ obviously. and davs’s gaze drops as he frowns to himself. ] - That was actually a dumb request, and possibly unfair? And it like undercuts the thing where I promised I could like, not do that, so actually just...never mind. Are we ready to like...return to reality or.