parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 1.0;

Oh, I have. I mean, I stabbed myself with shit sometimes? Or exploded it on accident. It's always been like this, but I eventually learned to just, uh, not look for food in the kitchen and to try to be careful?

[ dave shrugs. ]

Though sometimes I'd forget and open the fridge anyway. Don't do that, by the way. You'll get a face full of shitty anime swords.

[ well. karkat has already noticed a few contradictions to what rose had told him? somehow he doubts a loving and caring home will include something exploding on you? ]

All of that sounds really dumb. [ he also just... doesn't like the idea of dave getting hurt at all he is too #protective... ] What's on the roof?

[ thanks rose for #trying your best? dave's really not sure he can even explain it like this, now that he's standing here. do trolls even have shit like bro? he's not sure. he's pretty sure even if they did they'd have to deal with it alone and that's what dave usually tries to do.

he's quiet for a second, just kind of staring at the blender on the kitchen counter. ]

Training. Usually. But I think -

[ aaaand then his sword is in his hand as he yanks on karkat's arm to drag the troll fully behind him because bro's fast - like dave, like dirk - and he doesn't announce his attacks.

it's a memory. bro's three years behind dave and he doesn't have time travel even if he can flash step. but dave's still a little too pale at the attack, even if he didn't quite flinch. just blocked.

he thinks he failed to block when it actually happened. but whatever. it's just a warning shot, really, cutting dave. bro sometimes demands rooftop sessions with notes, but he just as often is willing to ask for it by just setting up traps or simply attacking dave and then going up. dave always followed, anyway. ]

[ karkat has no idea what the fuck just happened.

he's used to dave moving quickly. or, as used to something like that as anyone can be. you can't really expect when someone who moves that fast will, you know, move that fast. but normally karkat will at least not be that surprised afterwards, just settling for an "oh, guess he did that thing again."

he kind of stares blankly, wondering what... to do here. dave told him not to interfere. ]

Training. [ he just repeats it lamely, looking from dave to... wow he really does look like dirk? older. ]

[ older hat dirk does not stick around. he books it to the roof, presumably, and dave grimaces but pulls his expression under control more quickly than usual. which is...pretty fast. if the empathy thing is happening, however, he's not remotely as calm as he looks. there's a quiet, resigned dread in this memory, because it's not like he'd ever felt much else during these sessions.

he'd lost every single one of them. ]

Yeah. May as well go up top, that's how the story goes. He's probably going to throw puppets and shit at us while we're on the stairs. I'm just gonna keep blockin' shit, so don't sweat it.

[ ok that's just weird? chill with the puppets.

the thing is, karkat is normally pretty decent at reading dave? he's better than most people, at least, considering they spent three years on that meteor so attached to the hip that they eventually started dating. he knows what cues to look for, even if dave won't admit to anything even after getting called out for it.

but there's a difference between guessing that something is wrong because of dave acting slightly differently and... this. whatever this is. karkat knows this weird feeling isn't coming from him, since he's mostly just confused right now. he glances at dave, frowning. well.

there's a short moment of consideration before he steps out from behind dave so he can kiss him. it's very light, mostly just a soft brush against his lips, before he pulls away. ]

Let's get it over with, Strider.

Yeah. I'm gonna let go of your hand when we're up there, and you're not gonna get in the way. Right?

[ he has to play out the memory. unless he can imagine up thirteen-year-old dave to take his place.

he'd managed to block the strike earlier. but bro's too big a shadow in dave's mind, and he's not confident he can beat the imagined version of the real person. ]

Right...

[ karkat doesn't trust himself not to though? he's always been a very emotional person and he has no idea how he'd react to something like this, especially considering how big of a deal dave is making this out to be. karkat had been surprised at bro's sudden attack, but that still wasn't really... big enough to really make him Understand.

his friends literally disabled and killed each other, after all, and that was before they even started playing the game. sure, they all thought those things were pretty fucked up, mostly, but it's not like they stopped hanging around vriska afterwards? they just moved on. ]

After you, douchebag. [ the insult sounds pretty weak, but. it's a weird night. ]

[ again, this is why dave has had trouble trying to figure out how to explain shit to karkat. he's not sure he wants to stick around and try to explain it if karkat can't get it (he'll just. ask rose. to explain it again this time without need for being careful of spoilers) because it was hard enough explaining it to rose. at least she understood the truth without dave having to say it and explain why it was a thing that sucked.

it's hard to put into words that bro was a constant force. always there, never letting dave relax, never letting up. the tests and traps and training never stopped. dave can't remember them not having started. his earliest memories involve being thrown off the roof?

he should have asked rose to come along. she's a crutch of a sort but he thinks maybe she'd stop this from becoming the fucked up option she hypothesized could happen.

dave doesn't move for a second before nodding and dropping karkat's hand, a little earlier than he said he would. ]

...Yeah. This memory isn't so bad.

[ he only like, gets beat up as per usual. there's almost no trickery or mind games involved! aside from. the mind games of being forced to go up to what he knows is a pitched fight he can't (couldn't?) win for hours of dumbass training. "training".

dave sighs, and starts up the stairs. it feels a little like willingly going to his death, except this time rose isn't there to hold his hand. ]

[ he glances at his now free hand, his frown deepening, before following dave up the stairs. he kind of wants to reach up and grab his hand again, but he's scared of dave shaking him off? which is dumb. but also a possibility, so instead he just focuses on climbing the steps.

this memory isn't so bad. that whole sentence is... off. implies that dave has bad memories, which he has kind of hinted at before? karkat has the general impression that dave's relationship with bro isn't as stellar as he claimed but. hm. ]

Compared to what?

Other training sessions?

[ he's carefully keeping in front of karkat mostly so he can. deflect anything that gets thrown down the stairs. he's doing it quickly enough it might not be immediately obvious until sliced up puppet parts go past harmlessly, but.

dave's tense and tired and only glances back once before he steps off the last step onto the roof. ]

[ karkat just continues to follow after him, his expression a mix between annoyed and confused. also they are very high up? he didn't really notice how many steps they had been climbing, too concerned about whatever the fuck is going on.

but bro should be... up here... right? karkat takes a step to the side, looking around and also immediately disobeying dave's order for him to stay behind him at all times lmao sorry dude but he's nosy. ]

Wow. Texas fucking sucks.

Don't talk bullshit about my state.

[ said with. serious annoyance as dave flashsteps forward because he's pretty sure bro will play out the memory and not attack karkat but pretty sure isn't sure enough. ]

And - Jesus shit. [ he can't talk and do this at the same time. well. he could. but bro attacks in a sudden clash of metal and movement out of nowhere and they're going to be fighting at strider speed. dave's a really good fighter? he's great with a sword even though he hates fighting.

he hates fighting because of hours upon hours like this, being beaten down by a guy he can't even hope to beat. the resigned weary sadness grows thicker, but he just lets the memory happen. there's no point changing shit when it's already occurred and this isn't even a timeloop, so he plays along and doesn't cheat to win.

he's not sure he'd win even if he cheated. ]

[ your fave is problematic: karkat, enjoys it too much when he seriously annoys dave.

he jumps slightly when bro makes his appearance. it's really fucking weird, honestly, seeing someone other than dave or dirk move in that way. especially when it's directed at dave. but karkat is good. he doesn't interfere, since he told dave he wouldn't. he is going to stay on the sidelines and just watch and hope to understand what dave is trying to tell him here.

he wants to, at least. but there's a lot wrong with this picture. karkat can tell that dave isn't going full out here, and at first he thinks it's because this is supposed to be training and not a real fight but. that doesn't seem right? a lot of this is going too fast for karkat to properly see and it's still giving him an... off feeling.

it's dave, really. his emotional state that's washing over karkat because of the dreamscape. if dave had any intention of winning this fight, he wouldn't be feeling like this, as if he had already been defeated and is just passing the time til the verdict. and it's such a startling thing to witness, because dave always cheats and does what he can to come out on top and this is the exact opposite of that. ]

[ it's how he felt back then. even when he'd cheated, it'd never actually worked. hell, bro is the reason dave learned to cheat as hard as he could. bro strider doesn't play fair, either.

dave's not going all out because he's playing the part of thirteen-year-old dave and bro's going all out because of fucking course he always did. there's a flicker and his sword is the shitty only one because dave remembers it that way, and he thinks his shades might've gone pointy again and his clothes are older, too.

he's not sure how long this fight lasted because back then he wasn't as good about time. but he should probably skip to the end where he loses horribly, right? they don't have hours to waste, unless dream time is weird. ]

[ at this point karkat is literally just. slowly edging closer because he lied and he is physically incapable of not interfering. at the very least, he isn't charging recklessly? but he is definitely a lot closer than what dave would probably like and also wtf happened to his shades?

that's weird.

but mostly, the feeling of hopelessness that's radiating off of dave is too much and karkat just needs that to stop. ]

Dave. What the fuck are you doing, kick his ass!

[ yeah that just. gets a choked laugh from dave even as he lets bro disarm him because honestly that happened a lot.

it doesn't stop the training. he just has to dodge the blade.

bro is too fast for thirteen-year-old dave. he fails to dodge the blade and his left arm gets sliced. dave doesn't bother to make a face, just tries to keep that arm away from bro and his shitty unbreakable sword. ]

Can't, dude, I never did it back then. What's the point of showing you shit if I change it?

[ it's alarming, how casual dave's words are in contrast to everything else. because karkat knows that this isn't something that's just casual to dave, he wouldn't be dreading it so much. honestly, if the empathy link wasn't going on, karkat probably wouldn't be reaching these conclusions as fast as he is.

according to rose, human families are supposed to create a safe and loving home for kids to grow up in. dave just got sliced. karkat has to remind himself that it's not like he got hit for real, but it still looks very real? all of this is just conjured for dave's memories but it still looks real and karkat really hates seeing dave get hurt. ]

You can change it a little! Like, fuck, one stab won't hurt or anything? Or five.

It's just a memory.

[ dave says, like that's...remotely true. sure, he's playing out the memory to try to explain without having to say "so hey. bro trained me every day of my life from like, as far back as i can remember. and by trained i mean basically beat me up on a daily basis, with swords and mind games. when he wasn't doing that he kind of flashstepped around the place and left me to figure out shit on my own, like, you know, food and laundry and whatever, and also i'm pretty sure he hated me."

or worse, agreeing to the whole "in other words, he abused you" thing rose had said because dave still doesn't want to say that or anything like it.

how'd it go again? right. he got knocked down with bro's sword to his throat after an hour or two of this. thinking about it lets bro (too solid, because dave knows bro) speed ahead to the end.

he's pretty sure he just kinda hung out lying on the roof after bro just flashstepped away, letting his arm and the other cuts bleed and pulling out his phone to text rose about something completely unrelated. shit, what had he bothered her about? probably just baited her into an argument about wizards or something to keep himself busy.

dave kind of just lets himself get knocked down like he remembers, but doesn't bother to text rose because that part of the memory doesn't really matter. he's trying to think what the hell to do next but honestly his plan was kind of vague and haphazard to start with. ]

[ well, whatever dave decides to do karkat does not really care because he is just rushing over to him now, dropping to his knees, and just. hovers obnoxiously because there was a lot of shit he did not like about that??

okay like, he can maybe understand dave not fighting back properly because he wanted karkat to witness what happened. but it was still hard to watch, and seeing a sword against his boyfriend's throat while dave did nothing was not something karkat had been too thrilled about seeing?

he doesn't get why dave keeps acting like nothing is wrong here though, because every time he brushes it off, the emotions that are radiating off him keep contradicting his words. unless he... doesn't realize this is a thing that's happening? karkat almost wants to point it out, but he doesn't want dave to shut down whatever this is before he's ready to. and he might if he realizes he's giving away more than what he means to. ]

You should have fought back you gigantic dumbass.

[ he 100% does not realize the emotions are a thing that are happening because he's caught up in them and can't focus on anything he's feeling that's not...his own stuff. it's hard to keep this shit off of his face and he's focused on that, so nothing he's saying or doing or expressing is matching what's honest. ]

I did. I mean, that's how it went, though it was a few hours longer irl.

[ he wants to ask if karkat gets it from one memory but he...doubts it. shit, maybe he should have rose show karkat things from like. a not fucked up sense. or john - no, then john would suspect something. ]

He was always stronger. [ of course, dave had been skinnier and younger and underfed and always on edge, so. yeah. ]

Okay, but you'd be stronger now.

[ that's not even his dave bias speaking? like, logically dave would be able to easily defeat bro now if they ever went up against each other again. like, even if dave didn't use his time powers, karkat is pretty certain he'd be able to win.

dave doesn't seem to be getting up though, so karkat just sort of lays down next to him on his side so he can still continue to look over at him. ]

So. The two of you did this kind of thing a lot.

[ karkat is trying to keep his tone casual, which is Hard and he's probably failing and this whole thing is weird. [

Yeah. We should flip to a different memory.

[ dave sits up, his arms loosely wrapped around his knees as he casts a glance sideways.

for those playing the emotions game, he's not thrilled about the idea of throwing them into a new memory even if this one wasn't even bad compared to some of the other shit he's...avoiding going into. good job, dave. ]

[ ugh he should... probably tell him but he doesn't want to scare dave off... he decides to tell him later. karkat sits up as well but doesn't stand up all the way, instead reaching over to grab dave's hand again.

fuck u for letting go early, you dick?? ]

Is the next one up here too?

Sure, why not.

[ he can just pick a new one and roll with it. but he does let go of karkat's hand an instant after saying that. ]

I'll need both hands for the whole. [ vague hand gestures. ] Thing.

[ well. bro's tried to throw him off the damn roof more than once, so dave decides he may as well go with one of those fights. there are too many fights to go through and he's not sure how to get his point across because dave's terrible at communicating the shit that matters, a lot of the time. ]

Also you don't wanna get dragged over the side.

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