parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 1.0;

Yeah. We should flip to a different memory.

[ dave sits up, his arms loosely wrapped around his knees as he casts a glance sideways.

for those playing the emotions game, he's not thrilled about the idea of throwing them into a new memory even if this one wasn't even bad compared to some of the other shit he's...avoiding going into. good job, dave. ]

[ ugh he should... probably tell him but he doesn't want to scare dave off... he decides to tell him later. karkat sits up as well but doesn't stand up all the way, instead reaching over to grab dave's hand again.

fuck u for letting go early, you dick?? ]

Is the next one up here too?

Sure, why not.

[ he can just pick a new one and roll with it. but he does let go of karkat's hand an instant after saying that. ]

I'll need both hands for the whole. [ vague hand gestures. ] Thing.

[ well. bro's tried to throw him off the damn roof more than once, so dave decides he may as well go with one of those fights. there are too many fights to go through and he's not sure how to get his point across because dave's terrible at communicating the shit that matters, a lot of the time. ]

Also you don't wanna get dragged over the side.

[ karkat is just ??? at that comment before he glances over at the edge of the building. did he just imply that he's going to fall off the roof? because like, karkat knows that being able to fly is a fairly recent development for dave so.

nah he can't mean that. unless he falls accidentally during the training? that's gotta be it. right. ]

Uh. Okay?

[ he flexes his newly freed hand, kind of pouting at it because that did not last very long. ]

[ no, no he meant. actually falling off the roof. he has to stand up and think about it (how old was he - eight? nine? it was a while ago) but being thrown around was pretty normal because you had to learn how to deal with that shit. it probably kept him alive, maybe, even if it made him weaker instead of stronger. or something. dave doesn't bother to worry about it, just lets his mind drift again.

sometimes he'd manage to flashstep back before he feel. that day, he'd missed his footing and ended up having to scramble to get hold of the wall, and he'd had to pull himself back up because bro wasn't going to help him. unless he really fell further. maybe. probably?

so yeah no it's just. bro tossing him off the roof with the full expectation that dave would deal with it somehow, which really is the epitome of his training style. ]

[ ok so karkat may not entirely Get It but even he is aware that throwing people off of roofs is not a good thing. he is also pretty certain that falls outside of the category of caring for your family? some of the stuff rose said he still needs to figure out but like. he knows that much.

karkat doesn't stand up, mostly since he has no idea when the fuck bro is going to appear and he would prefer not to accidentally get dream stabbed by standing up the exact second he attacks? or something. ]

[ bro's appearing right now, for the whole. like for the whole throwing dave off a roof thing, which dave just allows to happen because yeah. why not.

just give him a bit to like climb back up since he's not going to fly. well. he could fly? shit should he just stop playacting and fly? it's easier to haul himself up the side of the wall than it was back then anyway, since he's older and stronger and better at climbing. so.

doesn't really need to fly.

although then bro will attack him when he makes it back up this is a shitty memory he should have picked a different one? ]

[ karkat had been expecting dave to like, maybe slip off the edge or something while fighting bUT NOPE HE LITERALLY JUST GOT FUCKING THROWN OFF THE ROOF?????

and like, okay. dave does not want him to interfere?? karkat gets that. he gets that dave is trying to show him something here and that all of this is shit that has already happened? so like, in theory karkat should not be getting upset here because this all happened in the past and what is currently going on right now is fake, just a dream. so he should just sit out and watch it til dave decides that's enough of this memory.

or. or!!! karkat can immediately stand up and run over to the two of them because HE JUST TOSSED DAVE OFF A FUCKIN ROOF? HOW LONG AGO WAS THIS MEMORY??? DAVE DID NOT KNOW HOW TO FLY AND THIS IS A HIGH BUILDING??????????//???? ]

[ like dave's fine he's just kind of hanging off the edge debating if he actually wants to get back up having scrambled high enough to reach the edge once again after a short climb. until he sees karkat and mutters something inaudible to himself.

he promptly hauls himself back up fully, and calls his sword back to his hand to block a strike. ]

You are literally the worst at staying put?

He threw you off the fucking roof! [ yes karkat, he knows, he was there too.

karkat did not have an actual plan in mind when he did this so he just kind of looks like he is ready to punch bro. in fact, he wants to as soon as he and dave stop moving around so much. ]

Dave, what the fuck.

Yeah, he does that. I missed my footing, was supposed to manage to hit the edge and flashstep back.

[ good luck with that because the memory requires him to keep

fighting

which is going too fast for anyone who isn't a strider. ]

[ "he does that" karkat is so annoyed at how casual dave says that?? getting tossed off a roof would at the very least start a shitty cycle of revenge or something between trolls. ]

And you're okay with it? [ he says it as flatly as he can which still sounds annoyed since he already knows Dave isn't. ]

[ he lets the memory fade away. or at least bro. he has to close his eyes and hum the song from underneath, but he lets it happen and lets his sword go back to his sylladex because clearly this isn't working.

or it is? ]

I didn't realize that was an option 'till the meteor.

[ is what he settles on saying, instead of "no". ]

[ as soon as bro vanishes, karkat crosses the space between them so he's right of dave. his hands immediately cup dave's face so he has to look back at him. ]

Alright. So, are you planning to be honest with me any time during this shitty field trip or?

That was honest.

[ he legitimately did not realize it was okay to not be okay with bro's...bro-ness. until the meteor. until a while into the meteor. ]

I...can't say it again. Fuck, I never said it the first time, I let Rose say it and just agreed?

[ well, this might be as good a time as any to say it. ]

This place is doing some weird... fuck, I don't know. I can tell how you're feeling right now. Ever since you started dreaming about all of this you've just been sad and filled with this kind of expectant dread? It's kind of fucked up.

[ his first thought is that he hopes karkat doesn't ask about the shit they'd been talking about previously as long as that's a thing.

his second thought is "well that figures". ]

This...might have been a terrible idea. I don't even know if you get what I'm trying to...

[ explain without explaining? someday, he probably has to explain it using rose's words to someone. for now, dave just unfreezes enough to reach up and drag karkat's hand away from his chin, lacing their fingers instead. he doesn't look away, at least. ]

Rose said it wasn't my worst idea ever though?

It has a lot of competition for that.

[ karkat glances back at the last spot bro had been at before dave unimagined him. trolls can be pretty violent and cruel, but even they have lines? eridan had crossed it. vriska had crossed it multiple times and the only reason she hadn't paid for it in the end was john's weird as fuck interference that karkat still does not get. ]

He wasn't really a good person. [ karkat meant to say "he was an enormous asshole and i want to stab him with his own shades" but he somehow manages to keep that under wraps. ]

[ dave opens his mouth to argue out of habit, but thinks better of it and shuts his mouth again. it'll take a minute to actually formulate a response. ]

These two memories weren't actually that bad. But I was hoping you'd...get it.

[ he'd halfway explained to rose the issue here. if karkat doesn't Get It somehow via dave, dave's not sure he can work up to explaining it a second time. or...whatever this is. he's trying? he's trying, but he doesn't want to have to explain what abuse and neglect looks like in human standards at all remotely.

he was hoping rose would do that for him but he hadn't asked her the right way. ]

If you don't, Rose can...she can tell you? Without the. Societal debate or whatever the fuck she did when I sent you to her last time.

I can tell that he hurt you.

[ it really is the empathic feedback that did it for karkat. since like... no one should be that resigned about doing something with a person they supposedly love? and rose made it pretty clear that families are about love.

she also said a thing about a debate about what's more important, your family that you're actually genetically related to versus one that you chose on your own. it baffled him, but. he thinks he understands that a little better now? ]

I'm not as dumb as everyone thinks I am, you dick. I... not everyone really cared for their lusus? I know Vriska got a really shitty deal with hers, I think.

I don't think you're dumb.

[ he doesn't? ]

I just don't think I can handle having to explain why whatever he did wasn't...right. So I tried to get Rose to explain what was right? Only neither of us is any good at explaining anything without, like, getting side tracked and commentary and that was probably on my list of shitty ideas?

[ goddamnit rose all he wanted was for you to describe the ideal family life and not commentate but

he kind of knew in his heart that would fail. ]

I didn't want to give you a list of shit he did and have you not get it because of - I know you guys had shitty circumstances? I don't know. Idk if this is like, Dave the 24/7 training and do it yourself caretaking is par for the course why are you complainin' about it level of shit? Like. He never killed me? He stopped me dying once. Maybe twice.

[ bro was just, you know, a constant threat lurking, not lethal but everything up to that point. ]

[ karkat almost wants to ask how old dave was during the last memory? thanks to the three years on the meteor he has a better understanding of like, the earth calendar and that is the days go by really fucking slowly.

he squeezes dave's hand. ]

Okay. So just answer this question for me. Was what he did something that a normal, loving human family would do? Yes or no.

[ he has john's life as a reference, at least. and all the humans films he watched that all have a general lack or rooftop battles. ]

[ dave finally has to break eye contact, but it's just to. take a step forward and drop his head onto karkat's shoulder. it's easier than looking at the moment? karkat's lucky dave hasn't just flopped onto the ground. ]

No.

[ he answered, but it's very quiet. ]

No, he pretty much fuckin' hated me.

[ his arms immediately wrap around dave, hugging him as closely as he can.

he probably won't ever fully understand how human families work and certain things will go over his head but karkat knows hate pretty well. and he knows love, too, and if there's one thing he definitely gets about families is that it's supposed to be about the latter?

rose made that part pretty clear. and so did the rest of the humans. shit, every time karkat accidentally walks in on the strilondes being weird and clingy, he gets it. ]

Dave, this is about to sound ridiculously sappy so feel free to stab me at any point during it to save us both from embarrassment. But you're... kind of the best fucking thing to ever happen to me, especially after everything that happened on the meteor before we met up with you? I love you and I kind of worry that I'm obnoxiously overbearing about it. I should probably try not to be so goddamn clingy but you deserve so much love?

[ ugh. this got gross. ]

Like. All the love. Ever. Shit, that sounded stupid, just cull me. Uh. I'm sorry that Bro didn't give that to you and if he wasn't already dead I'd probably bash his face in? And there are a lot of others who'd say the same because you're kind of important.

[ his reaction probably shouldn't be to laugh into karkat's shoulder, but it kind of is. it's not the idea of deserving love - though he's always unsure about that - but that karkat keeps offering to let him stab him and his boyfriend actually thinks it's possible there's a level of clingy dave will mind. sure, he never really liked karkat bugging him back when karkat was, you know, just "trolling" him and his friends, but that was different?

as much as he complains about shitty personality quizzes and chick flicks, he's never actually turned down either (or hasn't actually meant no when he said it).

he just turns his head slightly and kisses karkat's neck like that's a normal thing people do but. whatever. he doesn't want to move and that's nearest. ]

I love you, too. [ he doesn't even mutter it. ] Um. Okay. What other questions do you have? I'll try to do the. Talking portion of this experience.

[ he can MAYBE do this

he thinks

maybe

probably... ]

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