parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 1.0;

[ as soon as bro vanishes, karkat crosses the space between them so he's right of dave. his hands immediately cup dave's face so he has to look back at him. ]

Alright. So, are you planning to be honest with me any time during this shitty field trip or?

That was honest.

[ he legitimately did not realize it was okay to not be okay with bro's...bro-ness. until the meteor. until a while into the meteor. ]

I...can't say it again. Fuck, I never said it the first time, I let Rose say it and just agreed?

[ well, this might be as good a time as any to say it. ]

This place is doing some weird... fuck, I don't know. I can tell how you're feeling right now. Ever since you started dreaming about all of this you've just been sad and filled with this kind of expectant dread? It's kind of fucked up.

[ his first thought is that he hopes karkat doesn't ask about the shit they'd been talking about previously as long as that's a thing.

his second thought is "well that figures". ]

This...might have been a terrible idea. I don't even know if you get what I'm trying to...

[ explain without explaining? someday, he probably has to explain it using rose's words to someone. for now, dave just unfreezes enough to reach up and drag karkat's hand away from his chin, lacing their fingers instead. he doesn't look away, at least. ]

Rose said it wasn't my worst idea ever though?

It has a lot of competition for that.

[ karkat glances back at the last spot bro had been at before dave unimagined him. trolls can be pretty violent and cruel, but even they have lines? eridan had crossed it. vriska had crossed it multiple times and the only reason she hadn't paid for it in the end was john's weird as fuck interference that karkat still does not get. ]

He wasn't really a good person. [ karkat meant to say "he was an enormous asshole and i want to stab him with his own shades" but he somehow manages to keep that under wraps. ]

[ dave opens his mouth to argue out of habit, but thinks better of it and shuts his mouth again. it'll take a minute to actually formulate a response. ]

These two memories weren't actually that bad. But I was hoping you'd...get it.

[ he'd halfway explained to rose the issue here. if karkat doesn't Get It somehow via dave, dave's not sure he can work up to explaining it a second time. or...whatever this is. he's trying? he's trying, but he doesn't want to have to explain what abuse and neglect looks like in human standards at all remotely.

he was hoping rose would do that for him but he hadn't asked her the right way. ]

If you don't, Rose can...she can tell you? Without the. Societal debate or whatever the fuck she did when I sent you to her last time.

I can tell that he hurt you.

[ it really is the empathic feedback that did it for karkat. since like... no one should be that resigned about doing something with a person they supposedly love? and rose made it pretty clear that families are about love.

she also said a thing about a debate about what's more important, your family that you're actually genetically related to versus one that you chose on your own. it baffled him, but. he thinks he understands that a little better now? ]

I'm not as dumb as everyone thinks I am, you dick. I... not everyone really cared for their lusus? I know Vriska got a really shitty deal with hers, I think.

I don't think you're dumb.

[ he doesn't? ]

I just don't think I can handle having to explain why whatever he did wasn't...right. So I tried to get Rose to explain what was right? Only neither of us is any good at explaining anything without, like, getting side tracked and commentary and that was probably on my list of shitty ideas?

[ goddamnit rose all he wanted was for you to describe the ideal family life and not commentate but

he kind of knew in his heart that would fail. ]

I didn't want to give you a list of shit he did and have you not get it because of - I know you guys had shitty circumstances? I don't know. Idk if this is like, Dave the 24/7 training and do it yourself caretaking is par for the course why are you complainin' about it level of shit? Like. He never killed me? He stopped me dying once. Maybe twice.

[ bro was just, you know, a constant threat lurking, not lethal but everything up to that point. ]

[ karkat almost wants to ask how old dave was during the last memory? thanks to the three years on the meteor he has a better understanding of like, the earth calendar and that is the days go by really fucking slowly.

he squeezes dave's hand. ]

Okay. So just answer this question for me. Was what he did something that a normal, loving human family would do? Yes or no.

[ he has john's life as a reference, at least. and all the humans films he watched that all have a general lack or rooftop battles. ]

[ dave finally has to break eye contact, but it's just to. take a step forward and drop his head onto karkat's shoulder. it's easier than looking at the moment? karkat's lucky dave hasn't just flopped onto the ground. ]

No.

[ he answered, but it's very quiet. ]

No, he pretty much fuckin' hated me.

[ his arms immediately wrap around dave, hugging him as closely as he can.

he probably won't ever fully understand how human families work and certain things will go over his head but karkat knows hate pretty well. and he knows love, too, and if there's one thing he definitely gets about families is that it's supposed to be about the latter?

rose made that part pretty clear. and so did the rest of the humans. shit, every time karkat accidentally walks in on the strilondes being weird and clingy, he gets it. ]

Dave, this is about to sound ridiculously sappy so feel free to stab me at any point during it to save us both from embarrassment. But you're... kind of the best fucking thing to ever happen to me, especially after everything that happened on the meteor before we met up with you? I love you and I kind of worry that I'm obnoxiously overbearing about it. I should probably try not to be so goddamn clingy but you deserve so much love?

[ ugh. this got gross. ]

Like. All the love. Ever. Shit, that sounded stupid, just cull me. Uh. I'm sorry that Bro didn't give that to you and if he wasn't already dead I'd probably bash his face in? And there are a lot of others who'd say the same because you're kind of important.

[ his reaction probably shouldn't be to laugh into karkat's shoulder, but it kind of is. it's not the idea of deserving love - though he's always unsure about that - but that karkat keeps offering to let him stab him and his boyfriend actually thinks it's possible there's a level of clingy dave will mind. sure, he never really liked karkat bugging him back when karkat was, you know, just "trolling" him and his friends, but that was different?

as much as he complains about shitty personality quizzes and chick flicks, he's never actually turned down either (or hasn't actually meant no when he said it).

he just turns his head slightly and kisses karkat's neck like that's a normal thing people do but. whatever. he doesn't want to move and that's nearest. ]

I love you, too. [ he doesn't even mutter it. ] Um. Okay. What other questions do you have? I'll try to do the. Talking portion of this experience.

[ he can MAYBE do this

he thinks

maybe

probably... ]

[ okay that tickles??? no

karkat immediately thinks of the throwing off the roof thing again because he's still stuck on that?? dave did not know how to fly and human children look like they have questionable upper body strength at best. ]

Is this why you and Dirk are all [ skittish? trying so hard? annoying? a mix of all three? ] like that. Because of Lord Douchebag, tyrannical leader of stupid looking hats that logically speaking should not fit over his hair if it's anything like Dirk's?

He knows about Bro. Kind of.

[ like he's not moving away from the shoulder neck area so this is either muffled or directly in karkat's ear sorry not sorry ]

We talked. Back before the battle when Vriska, you know. Threw us together. And since then. He can guess some of the shit I didn't tell him, but he can't guess other parts of it. But he knows his pre-scratch self wasn't in my top ten faves list.

[ it's...not the best situation? they're trying. that counts for something, right? ]

He doesn't want to be Bro. I mean, he isn't except in the genetic sense. But yeah.

[ that makes the whole cal drama make a little more sense?

he kisses the side of dave's head. it's supposed to be comforting but mostly karkat does not want to miss a chance of doing that since dave is normally taller and his current position makes him... not... ]

Yeah. He can be an asshole but nowhere near this level of one. [ a pause. he is gonna go for it. ] How old were you in the last memory?

[ dave hums, thinking about it for a second. it was before he always knew exactly when he was. ]

Eight or so? So...a little nearer four sweeps than three?

[ he automatically tries to do the conversion, and he actually knows the exact equivalent of eight human years but doesn't...bother to give it... ]

[ ugh. he tries to think of what else he can ask. ]

You said the fridge was filled with weapons?

[ trolls always had to feed themselves and their lusii, at but least the lusus didn't leave weapons lying around where food would normally go? ]

No food in the kitchen, affirmative.

[ because that would make actual sense ]

Uh. Did you go... hunting...?

[ karkat is pretty sure the answer for that is no? there are enough grocery store scenes in movies for him to have the general idea that humans usually go shopping for food instead of going out and killing wildlife. so. ]

In the middle of the city? Nope. I just kind of stockpiled things in my closet. Occasionally I got my hands on cash for grocery shopping. Bro used to give me shit when I wasn't old enough to walk, though.

[ but yeah it was hard to find food in that house. puppets and weapons, though, those were just anywhere for the taking if you, like, wanted those.

dave never actually wanted those. ]

[ wait does that mean they go hunting in places that aren't cities?? be more consistent, humans? ]

How many people know? Besides Rose and Dirk.

Four if you count you and me.

[ haha dave telling people shit, good joke, karkat. ]

[ mostly karkat just wants to know who is Aware in case shit ever goes down again. ]

Well, that's three more people than I would expect from you, so that's something.

Kinda didn't have a choice telling Dirk shit, I was acting...weird. When we met up.

[ and beforehand

like

everyone noticed that right ]

And I needed Rose's help to - yeah. [ fix that. ] And...I wanted you to know.

[ it probably shouldn't give him a warm feeling that dave just wanted him to know for the sake of knowing. but the feeling's still there nonetheless.

a thought suddenly hits him. ]

Is this why you're farming at stupid o'clock when you should be asleep?

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