WEEK ZERO: FRIDAY, 10PM, THE POOL

[parodeity]

[ should dirk choose to take dave up on the haphazard offer, he'll find the fourteen-year-old knight of time sitting crosslegged by the pool shed, his back leaning up against it. he has a monogrammed innsmouth motel paper pad and a red pen he got somewhere and is doodling to keep himself from freaking the fuck out. just shitty comics and random asides. he's kind of hunched over it, but.

dave also apparently found a wristwatch somewhere, though it looks like it's from the 1950s, so that's new.

he will pause in his mindless doodling when he hears anyone, eyes flicking up (he has not taken the shades off), and speaks in a much more measured manner than he ended the last conversation: ]

Sup. [ like he didn't snap at dirk or spend the rest of the day dreading a thing he legitimately offered. no big deal. ]

Comments

[splinten]

[Oh. Okay then. Dirk watches as Dave just. Stands up and leaves the chaos of a broken pen and some paper and goes into pacing mode. Dirk doesn't try to interrupt him as he moves, staring in surprise and maybe some worry, watching him turn and move, and worrying that he will mess up if he speaks.

And then Dave speaks. And what he says is.]

What?

[He can't quite believe it. Dirk has always been an asshole, he knows that. He can be manipulative and shitty and heartless but the one thing he pretty sure he isn't is capable of not interacting with people he cares a lot about. He can be a fucking monster towards them, but he can't cut them off. He didn't even manage it with Jake when he swore to himself he'd stop being such a miserable influence on his life.

So.

What?]

[parodeity]

You just - he just - [ dave drags his hands down his face. ] Why would you bother to talk to me, I was basically the lowest tier of anythin' in the fuckin' apartment, below like - god, everything, but when's the last time I ranked it? Cal, obviously, top tier, sure loved that dude! [ he did not love that dude but may be saying that's what bro did. it's not clear because he's kind of ranting and it's not even directed at dirk fully so much as @ the universe in a fit of irritation that apparently it wasn't impossible it not be like that. ]

Then below it, what, Mr. T? Kermit. Puppets! Just all the puppets, the entire fuckin' cabal, and the smuppets, then the weapons and maybe the porn sites? Those weird videos and comics and maybe the video games and the goddamn art of irony and then WAY down at the bottom we have the runty afterthought except actually I don't even get on the scale! The scale is for things he liked or even cared about.

[ ok dave does not seem capable of leaving the topic of puppets alone apparently today in "complete meltdowns" we are visiting the topic of puppets, and how he hates them, and also, they suck. ]

Or I think this was a pyramid whatever I don't get to be on it because you hated me.

[splinten]

I... hated you?

[There's so much to take in here and while, yeah, he loves puppets, and he's kinda curious about the porn sites tbh, but of all of it this is the most deeply what the fuck of them.]

[parodeity]

You [ course-correct: ] he had to have, what the fuck other explanation was there. Everyone else got guardians they're all like, pumped to see again! Or I guess John and Jade would be if they even know what we're doin' which John probably does not but Jade might, but like, Rose wants to see her Mom again! Hell Rose wanted to see Bro, she should be here, not me, it's Lovecraft and the chance to get to meet people she actually wants to get to meet! Like they complained so goddamn much about them when we were younger and for a long time I figured they were bein' legit but it was obvious their guardians actually gave a flyin' fuck and would've done anything for them and I didn't get that! I don't get that.

[ and it's so stupid to care. but he's been thinking about at least that, even if he hasn't been thinking about...how to deal with it or anything else because how do you even approach it. ]

No, let's give Dave the violent psychopathic robot with the stylistically sociopathic approach to parentin' because, I dunno, fuck him in particular?

[ he wouldn't call it abuse because he doesn't think about it like that but, you know what? it's actually bullshit how a perfect stranger is treating him more like a human being and it's completely unfair that he seems to be doing so without a shred of irony, and dave doesn't even know how to deal with that so he's just.

god what is he even doing here. ]

And what the fuck was it about me that made you not this???

[ he's literally directing most of this at the ground angrily and also mostly to himself so is this even inviting audience participation or. what.

dave kicks the ground and does not feel better. ]

[splinten]

[It's so much to take in and he's left wordless, just trying to process the concept, the idea that Dirk could hate Dave. That he could—do this to Dave, make it so Dave would feel like this meeting him. He doesn't think it's crazy Dave might not want to be near him, anyone good would hate him as long as they weren't too loving to forgive him or look past it, and Dave is good, Dirk can tell that, but this is—

He doesn't know what this is. This is wrong.

It isn't fair.

He doesn't even know what to stay, he can't stop staring. It just doesn't seem possible that he wouldn't love Dave. It's impossible to imagine he wouldn't be smothering.]

[parodeity]

I...don't even know why I'm talkin' about this, he's dead, you're completely unrelated to any of it, and from the way shit's goin' here it probably won't even matter after whatever-this-is kills me.

[ he can't actually keep up the rant steam and kind of. comes to a stop uselessly.

at least he hasn't said...much...of use...? well he got weird about kitchens and explained he was hated and puppets were preferred but there aren't really any details and no one even needs those. ]

[splinten]

I really fuckin' do not want you dead.

[That came out rushed and anxious, with eyes wide in fear. It's a possibility and he knows it but—]

I can't—deal with you dead again. I saw your planet smashed to pieces and—I'm finally getting the chance to meet you. [The desperate note, despite everything.]

[parodeity]

We fucked up that bad?

[ that sucks. dave can't even bring himself to be that concerned, except for the part where he knows it'd kill the others. but if they fuck up that bad, he rewinds. that's how it goes. ]

Dyin' is kind of, like, my thing. But that wasn't...well, it wasn't the point, but I didn't even have one of those. So.

[splinten]

Everyone was dead. I think one of your friends made it, showed up late like me, but everyone else...

[He breaks off. He isn't a time player. He doesn't deal with dead timelines. For him, every timeline is the one.]

If this is a dead end maybe it doesn't matter anyway. I'd still really prefer it if you didn't die.

[parodeity]

Which one?

[ which friend. but no, this guy would recognize rose as a lalonde, so it has to be jade or - ]

Blue, glasses, dumb overbite?

[ john. it doesn't really matter but he's curious. ]

Dunno that it's up to either of us, really. I wasn't being facetious about the Lovecraft shit. I actually am up on my lore, because someone never shut up about it.

[splinten]

That was the one. Jane's Poppop.

[It's how he knows them all that way. John showed up and Dirk just... gave in. He lets himself fade out.]

I know my Lovecraft pretty okay too. There's enough going on that we know the other shoe will kick us in the ass soon enough. [Curiously, though, he has to ask.] Rose? Roxy was more welcoming of the horrorterrors than me.

[parodeity]

She really likes the eldritch. [ for the first time there's actual warmth and fondness in his tone, if not his expression. dave is still standing a little ways away, and he shoves his hands in his pockets. ]

[splinten]

I wanted to meet her too. [He's quieter now, still strained and confused, but the wistfulness was genuine.] We had legends about all of you. I wanted to learn what you were like as kids like us.

[parodeity]

I was a mess, she was perfect. [ it's not even jealous or spiteful or anything else, just matter of fact: rose has flaws, sure, but dave likes even those. ] Boom, history lesson over.

[splinten]

[A mild flicker.] Thanks, dude. That really answers the longin' and curiosity of my entire wakin' life. You nailed it.

[His accent is back to being more consistent now that he's less emotional A+ Dirk.]

[parodeity]

Why are you fakin' that, by the way.

[ SPEAKING OF THE ACCENT, ]

[splinten]

[He is. Confused.]

What?

[Does Dave mean... his interest in things?]

[parodeity]

Your accent. Or not your accent, as it happens?

[ like, dave's texan twang never disappears. it gets worse when he's stressed but it's always ridiculously present. what the hell is dirk doing, though. ]

[splinten]

[Wow okay now he wishes he had his glasses because he's embarrassed. He kinda looks like a deer caught in headlights, if that deer was a socially awkward teenager and the headlights were admitting something very pathetically clingy.]

I... did not grow up actually talking to other human beings for a really long time so I learned watching movies and crap. Most accents there were the General American accent that Hollywood uses. In all your interviews, though, you had... that one. [He gestures at Dave lightly.]

So... [Don't make him say it. Do not make him say he copied it on purpose and now he slips in and out of it all the time without meaning to.]

[parodeity]

Oh.

[ what the fuck. ]

I learned what a fridge is actually for and how to like, do most domestic shit from movies. [ like that somehow makes it...better... ]

[splinten]

Did I—[He remembers how Dave put it, corrects himself, and then rephrases his sentence altogether because 'Did he seriously not do any of that?' clearly has a strong affirmative yes.] Cool. We should form a, like, club for socially incompetent kids who learned really basic things about normal existence from movies. We could have weekly meetings to watch 1950s help videos.

[parodeity]

Did you what?

[ HE DOESN'T...know how to take the offer to spend time with him (again) because what even is that still so he just focuses on the sentence that didn't get finished. ]

[splinten]

Did I, he—did he really not do any of those things. But you said he didn't, so obviously he didn't. It's just... fuckin' crazy to me, to imagine.

[So, yeah. Well said Dirk. A+]

[parodeity]

...He taught me to fight, kinda?

[ "kinda" ]

[splinten]

[Dirk feels the pit of his stomach just vanish into nowhere. Maybe the Dark Room. That makes sense. It has gone to the Dark Room and now he just has a vague sense of dread where his stomach used to be.]

Kinda.