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WEEK ZERO: FRIDAY, 10PM, THE POOL
[ should dirk choose to take dave up on the haphazard offer, he'll find the fourteen-year-old knight of time sitting crosslegged by the pool shed, his back leaning up against it. he has a monogrammed innsmouth motel paper pad and a red pen he got somewhere and is doodling to keep himself from freaking the fuck out. just shitty comics and random asides. he's kind of hunched over it, but.
dave also apparently found a wristwatch somewhere, though it looks like it's from the 1950s, so that's new.
he will pause in his mindless doodling when he hears anyone, eyes flicking up (he has not taken the shades off), and speaks in a much more measured manner than he ended the last conversation: ]
Sup. [ like he didn't snap at dirk or spend the rest of the day dreading a thing he legitimately offered. no big deal. ]
dave also apparently found a wristwatch somewhere, though it looks like it's from the 1950s, so that's new.
he will pause in his mindless doodling when he hears anyone, eyes flicking up (he has not taken the shades off), and speaks in a much more measured manner than he ended the last conversation: ]
Sup. [ like he didn't snap at dirk or spend the rest of the day dreading a thing he legitimately offered. no big deal. ]
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[ ... ]
I don't even know how we got here conversationally at this point.
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[He's getting better at using the pronoun Dave corrected to but it still isn't something certain for him.]
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[ he says, like he had any fucking game plan at all, ]
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[Dirk's got that wide-eyed look of being unsure and taking to Dave's lead.
Maybe Dirk will remember to be the older brother again soon but he's really in Dave's hands here.]
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[ talking to dirk. earlier. ]
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You can stop any time. I'm not going to be hurt. [Which. Okay, to be fair,] If that matters. This is a shitty situation, and you don't really need the added stress of me.
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[ he rubs at his nose, and looks less composed and distant and more fourteen and stressed out for a second, before dave gets himself under control again. he's actually good a that, the neutral facade. ]
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I'm not sure that follows. At least, I bear a certain level of responsibility for the actions of my splinters, and that includes him.
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[ it isn't like dirk hasn't just stared blankly at any mention of home. dave is reasonably sure he doesn't trust the guy, but he's not really capable of blaming someone unrelated for...whatever the fuck. ]
im literally just going to steal from canon
[He says it calmly, looking at his hands. He's remembering the AR between them, beginning to crack at his twist.]
So when I hear about that gross negligence of guardian responsibilities, and that complete inability to interact as a human being with you... I won't blame you if you decide you don't want anything to do with me, and I think you'd be totally in the right to hate me for what he did. I can't really make any argument for how we're any different and those disparities probably don't matter anyway.
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[ "all splinters of me are basically me". he looks the same. he apparently likes puppets, and he does make dave think about bro, just really really reminds him of the guy -
but he can't find the person he's looking for. and maybe that's just because this is a long con for some fucked up endgame, but when did bro ever need things like remorse or anything else to play with someone's mind? ]
You basically have nothin' to do with my life even if you're...guilty splinterways or whatever you're gettin' at. You're just some innocent random bystander who happens to look exactly like him.
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[That warrants elaboration because of ambiguity]
Raising you, I mean. Although I can definitely see me messin' up with you right now, and I probably am right now. That isn't really the point, though.
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A lot of things. For the most part, I feel pretty bad about the role I played in my friends' lives. Especially Jake. He won't blame me for it, he blames himself for pretty much everything that happened between us and I gave up the argument in favour of getting us functioning enough to at least try to survive whatever this is. But I was a toxic influence on him pretty much from day one, and that's just the interpersonal crap. The reason everyone's dead in the timeline I'm from is me. So I think it's pretty safe to say I'm not the sort of person you should bother to associate with for either your psychological or physical safety.
yeah i did
...Okay then.
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He touches his chest, rubbing at his sternum.]
Do you... [He breathes out. He still isn't looking up.]
That's why I say that I'd really like to get to know you, but I totally respect if you choose not to. I'm exactly the kind of person to know he's an awful dude to be around and still want toβbe near you. Take up your time.
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[ and even if he weren't, dirk really doesn't actually know him, so why would he care? dave gets to his feet again, this time collecting all his papers. he's not in a place he can handle the nuance of "you shouldn't be near me" against "i want to get to know you" when the second has always been unbelievable. ]
I should get back, and probably so should you. Breakin' curfew is a dumbfuck idea until there's a better understandin' of what's up and what'd happen.
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Thanks. For talking to me.
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[ the walls are definitely closing in, because holy shit he really can't rely on anyone here, and his roommates won't even tell him their damn names, but at least maybe a few of the girls will like, treat him like a person and maybe have at least said he can trust them.
dave doesn't fully buy it, but the lie is nice. dirk won't even give him that. ]
Focus on yourself and your friend or whatever the fuck. I guess thanks for botherin' to...pretend for five minutes.
[ he's going to just choose > abscond now. ]
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[ you know, the guys who wear domino masks and use aliases. who are both rooming with dave. @ universe really??????? ]
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Dave said he seems like a good person. And Dirk doesn't believe it. But staring at him, he decides that he wants to be a good enough person to know Dave.
After a brief moment, he tries,]
I told you that because I thought you deserved to know. Who I am, and what I've done, and how ... there's not a lack of continuity between me, and your Bro.
[There's a but, and he's struggling with it. He's struggling not to be too selfish but also not to do what he's sure he's doing now: hurting Dave.]
The dentures were fuckin' hilarious, though. And no one else has ever got that kind of humour, or thought SBAHJ was funny the way I do, and I just...
[He just what? He stares at Dave and he feels helpless and stupid and like he screwed up before he ever started.]
Maybe we should do this despite what I said. It feels kinda like we're about to not do it for the wrong reasons.
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[ he's a time player, he's used to relying on himself into infinity, and dealing with whatever he has going on alone. it isn't like it was a huge change from childhood. and maybe that's why his role has never really bothered him, or why he's never really been anything other than maybe ironically reluctant. ]
Don't... [ don't what? ] Just make up your mind and tell me some other time.
[ dave doesn't even know what he thinks about it, or if he can or can't trust dirk, but he does know he can't handle the back and forth of a splintered person who can't seem to decide how to treat him. it's a different kind of mind game, isn't it? and one that will, in the end, maybe have the potential to hurt more. ]
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He starts to understand what he needs to be to deserve Dave.]
Can we meet tomorrow? For dinner or something. I'll make you something to eat and tell you what I've decided.
[He realizes the nuance and ambiguity are too much to put on Dave. He's going to have to be clear and certain and direct. He's going to figure out how to offer choices without confusing a kid who has already been through too much because of him.]
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[ although then it follows that dave will have to make a decision and he knows he's crap at those. ]
I can't do anythin' in the mornings anyway probably. [ he's not sure. he technically agreed to meet up with someone regularly then. ]
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