WEEK ZERO: FRIDAY, 10PM, THE POOL

[parodeity]

[ should dirk choose to take dave up on the haphazard offer, he'll find the fourteen-year-old knight of time sitting crosslegged by the pool shed, his back leaning up against it. he has a monogrammed innsmouth motel paper pad and a red pen he got somewhere and is doodling to keep himself from freaking the fuck out. just shitty comics and random asides. he's kind of hunched over it, but.

dave also apparently found a wristwatch somewhere, though it looks like it's from the 1950s, so that's new.

he will pause in his mindless doodling when he hears anyone, eyes flicking up (he has not taken the shades off), and speaks in a much more measured manner than he ended the last conversation: ]

Sup. [ like he didn't snap at dirk or spend the rest of the day dreading a thing he legitimately offered. no big deal. ]

Comments

[splinten]

I didn't freak out.

[He did a little freak out.]

So you did it as a comic. [A pause.] My Bro did it as movies. If there were comics he didn't leave them for me.

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson were the leads.

[parodeity]

Webcomic. I sold some shirts and book formats of it. Made a flash once but never did...anythin' like that.

[ HE...STILL HASN'T DECIDED HOW HE FEELS ABOUT DIRK but dave has managed to even out and tune out his feelings like he sometimes does to focus on the here and now. the feelings that were distracting, anyway; he's still There, but.

this has not stopped being surreal or jarring. doodling sort of helps. ]

Who was Geromy?

[splinten]

[Dirk isn't sure what to do at this point, so he's just. Going to sit there and watch and answer questions and try to talk less than in a panic.]

Donald Glover. After his assassination, my Bro stopped including Geromy in the films.

[parodeity]

...After his what.

[splinten]

[Oh right. Dave wouldn't know.]

The Condesce had him assassinated for his role in the films. The franchise was highly subversive and did a lot to undermine and critique her power and influence. Obviously, it failed in the end, but she was ruthless against her opponents. It's an interesting chapter in history in terms of the media wars, but of course it ends with the deaths of all the leading figures in the rebellion.

[parodeity]

Oh. All right, then.

[ THAT MAY AS WELL BE A THING, DAVE SUPPOSES?

anyway he hands over this after ripping it off the pad, although it is in. dave-level art style. ]

[splinten]

[Oh. This is. Hm.

On one level, he can get the joke. On the other level...

Dirk isn't laughing, and he doesn't even twitch in a smile. Dentures are way funnier, apparently.]

What kinds of notes did he leave?

[parodeity]

Bro roof now, bring Cal, variations thereof.

[ A SHRUG. ]

Anyway, we didn't overlap a lot humor wise, I guess.

[splinten]

That sounds more like he was tryin' to terrorize you.

[Maybe it's too blunt but even with the familiarity of that phrasing (he remembers hearing it from undyingUmbrage and that is a little baffling especially because of the stupid "I want to play a game" lines he always pulled) he just has to say it. That wasn't comedy. It was just being an ass.]

It doesn't look like it was super to my tastes. [He thinks he could find the comic funny. He knows he couldn't find it funny to have that be the only means of interacting with a kid in his care.]

[parodeity]

Eh. [ a shrug. ] It was trainin'. I'm not sure if it was entirely a test or entirely a joke or somewhere inbetween.

[ and really, what does it matter at this point.

(it still matters.) ]

[splinten]

[He isn't sure what to say. He doesn't know how far he should go or how far he shouldn't. It feels dangerous and Dirk knows he isn't good at the most basic interactions.

Eventually, he settles on,]

I liked the dentures better.

[parodeity]

No one else did so far.

[ not that they saw the comic, he means, but. ]

[splinten]

They're missin' out on a great joke.

[parodeity]

Pretty much most people don't fully get my sense of humor, so I'm kind of used to it.

[ ... ]

I don't even know how we got here conversationally at this point.

[splinten]

We were talkin' about how he did or didn't spend time with you.

[He's getting better at using the pronoun Dave corrected to but it still isn't something certain for him.]

[parodeity]

I meant, this isn't even what I intended to...discuss.

[ he says, like he had any fucking game plan at all, ]

[splinten]

What... did you intend to discuss?

[Dirk's got that wide-eyed look of being unsure and taking to Dave's lead.

Maybe Dirk will remember to be the older brother again soon but he's really in Dave's hands here.]

[parodeity]

...I don't know. [ jesus. ] I just wanted to...stop.

[ talking to dirk. earlier. ]

[splinten]

[Dirk understands that. He doesn't blame the kid.]

You can stop any time. I'm not going to be hurt. [Which. Okay, to be fair,] If that matters. This is a shitty situation, and you don't really need the added stress of me.

[parodeity]

Why wouldn't it matter? You're...you didn't even do any of the shit.

[ he rubs at his nose, and looks less composed and distant and more fourteen and stressed out for a second, before dave gets himself under control again. he's actually good a that, the neutral facade. ]

[splinten]

[He's starting to notice that. He feels like he owes Dave his honesty, but he hates to talk about this.]

I'm not sure that follows. At least, I bear a certain level of responsibility for the actions of my splinters, and that includes him.

[parodeity]

You don't even know what the fuck went down, so how the hell does that follow?

[ it isn't like dirk hasn't just stared blankly at any mention of home. dave is reasonably sure he doesn't trust the guy, but he's not really capable of blaming someone unrelated for...whatever the fuck. ]

im literally just going to steal from canon

[splinten]

It's something I've come to understand about myself. All splinters of me are basically me, no matter how much I want to resist that truth, or pretend they aren't reflecting my own qualities back at me.

[He says it calmly, looking at his hands. He's remembering the AR between them, beginning to crack at his twist.]

So when I hear about that gross negligence of guardian responsibilities, and that complete inability to interact as a human being with you... I won't blame you if you decide you don't want anything to do with me, and I think you'd be totally in the right to hate me for what he did. I can't really make any argument for how we're any different and those disparities probably don't matter anyway.

[parodeity]

I'm pretty sure that ain't true.

[ "all splinters of me are basically me". he looks the same. he apparently likes puppets, and he does make dave think about bro, just really really reminds him of the guy -

but he can't find the person he's looking for. and maybe that's just because this is a long con for some fucked up endgame, but when did bro ever need things like remorse or anything else to play with someone's mind? ]

You basically have nothin' to do with my life even if you're...guilty splinterways or whatever you're gettin' at. You're just some innocent random bystander who happens to look exactly like him.

[splinten]

I'm not particularly innocent though. I've messed a lot of things up. I can pretty easily see myself messin' up with you.

[That warrants elaboration because of ambiguity]

Raising you, I mean. Although I can definitely see me messin' up with you right now, and I probably am right now. That isn't really the point, though.