WEEK ZERO: FRIDAY, 10PM, THE POOL

[parodeity]

[ should dirk choose to take dave up on the haphazard offer, he'll find the fourteen-year-old knight of time sitting crosslegged by the pool shed, his back leaning up against it. he has a monogrammed innsmouth motel paper pad and a red pen he got somewhere and is doodling to keep himself from freaking the fuck out. just shitty comics and random asides. he's kind of hunched over it, but.

dave also apparently found a wristwatch somewhere, though it looks like it's from the 1950s, so that's new.

he will pause in his mindless doodling when he hears anyone, eyes flicking up (he has not taken the shades off), and speaks in a much more measured manner than he ended the last conversation: ]

Sup. [ like he didn't snap at dirk or spend the rest of the day dreading a thing he legitimately offered. no big deal. ]

Comments

[parodeity]

We strifed all the time. Trainin'. [ like, bro never TALKED during these interactions, generally??? but they did...occur...

at random fucking hours dave could never predict. ]

I'm pretty sure he must've fed me when I was a baby?

[splinten]

That isn't interacting like real people. It isn't even interactin' on the awkward level of this. [This terrible awkward weird conversation where Dirk isn't sure he's even a person. He still knows it's a step up.] For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I don't know a lot of it, but from what I do know I was wrong to raise you like that and you deserved better.

[parodeity]

[ an awkward shrug. ]

He...didn't always ignore me. He monitored me.

[splinten]

Like.... Surveillance? [That. Is not better, Dave.]

[parodeity]

Well, yeah? Just...flashsteppin' around or whatever, or the webcams. [ that's totally better. ] Leavin' notes or comics or whatnot.

[ that part could sound almost nice except they were frequently like, comics about accidental murder and also the notes were usually "roof now". ]

[splinten]

[Well first part isn't good. Second part... he's unsure of?] What kind of comics or notes? Like... jokes for you to share?

[parodeity]

Uh...I guess I could draw one for you? I vaguely remember the last one. But he drew better than me. I dunno, you might find it funny.

[ like. dave doesn't? but it is possible dirk might. ]

[splinten]

You kinda broke your pen. [Drawing one feels like it isn't a possibility.]

[parodeity]

I said I have two hundred. I mean, I only have like ten on me, but.

[ he digs in his pocket and produces another red pen.

he...

he apparently was not joking? about having 200 red pens? what the fuck did he spend his day doing. ]

[splinten]

[That. What?]

How were there that many specifically red pens? Also, why did you bring, like, ten?

[parodeity]

There were infinite pens, and they were red and blue and black. I ignored the non-red options.

[ BUT...WHY 200? ]

And in case somethin' happened to one, I guess?

[ ... ]

I have some dentures, too.

[splinten]

[...]

On you?

[parodeity]

[ ... ]

Yes?

[ he like. takes them out and clacks the two teeth sides together. ]

[splinten]

[holy shit he can't

THIS DAY HAS BEEN TOO MUCH AND DAVE IS CLACKING DENTURES WHICH WERE IN HIS POCKETS JUST BECAUSE HE

he bursts into laughter because what the fuck]

[parodeity]

[













what ]

[splinten]

[It's just a Bro-shaped person, who took his shades off by Dave's request, laughing loudly and clearly at something Dave did. What's weird about that?]

[parodeity]

[ LITERALLY ALL OF THAT so he's just gonna stare shellshocked as dirk laughs. ]

[splinten]

[When he stops laughing enough to see Dave staring at him he totally stops laughing, a flush actually making it to his face.

Yeah he has nothing he's just going to stare awkwardly and embarrassed. It's fine.]

[parodeity]

[ like. it's mostly pure disbelief that dirk found anything he did funny. although was that laughing at him??? or...well he wasn't laughing so it wasn't with him, but.

uh. ]

...But anyway I have pens if you want....me to draw the thing...

[ he stares at the dentures in his hand and tbh he grabbed them because he found them funny, but so far until this moment no one else had either.

he still sounds mostly stunned ]

[splinten]

[Dirk, elegantly, rubs the back of his neck.] If you. Want to? That's okay. If you don't want to that's cool.

[a pause and then suddenly]

You recognized what my tattoo was.

[parodeity]

[ he goes over to retrieve the paper pad, and uncaps the new pen. ]

Yeah? I quoted the comic at you earlier, too, but you just freaked out.

[ "the dead dave pile doesn't stop from getting taller"

"the sports pile doesn't stop from getting taller"

same diff. some of the scattered pages have what looks like some sbahj scribbles, too, though dave didn't bother to collect them all as he starts trying to sketch in what he remembers. ]

[splinten]

I didn't freak out.

[He did a little freak out.]

So you did it as a comic. [A pause.] My Bro did it as movies. If there were comics he didn't leave them for me.

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson were the leads.

[parodeity]

Webcomic. I sold some shirts and book formats of it. Made a flash once but never did...anythin' like that.

[ HE...STILL HASN'T DECIDED HOW HE FEELS ABOUT DIRK but dave has managed to even out and tune out his feelings like he sometimes does to focus on the here and now. the feelings that were distracting, anyway; he's still There, but.

this has not stopped being surreal or jarring. doodling sort of helps. ]

Who was Geromy?

[splinten]

[Dirk isn't sure what to do at this point, so he's just. Going to sit there and watch and answer questions and try to talk less than in a panic.]

Donald Glover. After his assassination, my Bro stopped including Geromy in the films.

[parodeity]

...After his what.