Not shit you need to thank me for. Frankly, I'm grateful to maybe an unmeasurable level that you want to spend this much time in my unmediated presence. It's full miracles in here.
Well. Some of it would have to be mediated by virtue of other people existing. But I like the world slightly better when you're around. My time is very rarely not yours to take and that's just when I set down plans with other people in stone.
Okay. [Okay. So. He feels that way about him. So.] This is one of those situations where you're describing how I feel about you, but my brain rejects the basic idea of you feeling the same way about me.
I literally followed you around like a puppy the first few months. [ do you remember wiz being born dirk. do you remember dave just trailing in and kind of making himself at home and hanging around even though he was mostly useless. ]
I thought you were bored. [Not. Being clingy?] And also that eventually you'd get sick of being near me. If you're curious and haven't worked it out, that assumption that you'd be sick of having my presence around is behind my general hesitance to seek you out when you are not seeking me out.
[ like historically speaking dirk strider has not wanted to spend time with dave strider???? in. dave's history at least. the wry comment catches up to dave after a second, though, and he immediately tries to backtrack like he does sometimes when referencing the past. ]
I like your company. [ it feels like a weak protest, just repeating himself, but dave makes it anyway. ] So, I dunno. Shove the vegetables you don't wanna eat off onto my plate?
I am a reasonable amount sure I don't realize it, and the only real uncertainty is the part of me that keeps insisting you don't want me around at all. So the part we both agreed is stupid despite its continued existence, in a demonstration that survival of the fittest does not imply the most intelligent.
As I've mentioned, I find your text reassuring. I'm trying to internalize the idea that the reverse is also likely true.
I feel like you could just assume I'll want whatever you would want and go from there. [ like. pot kettle but. dave doesn't stop the motion of his thumb as he continues speaking, quiet. his eyes are shut in the dark. ] Last time we talked about texts you said you were holdin' back.
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[Dirk lifts his head up. Does Dave mean it?]
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[ that sounds stupid, but. ]
But I don't [ think i ] regret it.
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You'd be interested in doing it again.
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[ that's easy. ]
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[He doesn't see any reason family vacations would need to stop.]
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[ do unlooped time with him? ]
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I'd pretty much spend every second with you if you wanted?
[ wAIT SHIT like that's true, even if rose could get the same exact response, but jesus dial it down strider ]
Uh. 80%? 70%. [ of his time. now he's going to try to nail down a less stupid percentage kill him before he kills himself ]
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What about Rose? And the Magister. Trousersnake, Wiz, the entire Kharaa dudes. Probably Squarewave now, you love my rapbot to an unexpected degree.
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I try to overcome that, but yeah.
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[ congrats ]
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[ like historically speaking dirk strider has not wanted to spend time with dave strider???? in. dave's history at least. the wry comment catches up to dave after a second, though, and he immediately tries to backtrack like he does sometimes when referencing the past. ]
I mean - not that it's your fault, shit, I -
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It's okay. You have a point. It's why I'm workin' on the thing where I let my total distaste for my own company prevent me from reachin' out to you.
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You've been textin' me more a little bit.
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Yeah. Part of Operation: Stop Being A Cowardly Douchebag.
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I'm not 100% sure you realize how much my preferred volume of textin' is with anyone, let alone you?
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I am a reasonable amount sure I don't realize it, and the only real uncertainty is the part of me that keeps insisting you don't want me around at all. So the part we both agreed is stupid despite its continued existence, in a demonstration that survival of the fittest does not imply the most intelligent.
As I've mentioned, I find your text reassuring. I'm trying to internalize the idea that the reverse is also likely true.
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