subnautica ic inbox 3.0;

[parodeity]

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[quadjumps]

[ stop, dave

stop ]

dirk strider is a merman dude

[parodeity]

[ he's still lost but that doesn't stop dave from being annoying, especially as he gets a piece that indicates maybe this has something to do with dirk? ]

you dont say
how did you discover his tragic backstory
i wasnt aware anyone else had leveled up that far
shit is this a request for honorable combat
ill warn you ill kick your fucking ass at strider trivia
and even if i dont
ill just have to kick your ass probably

[quadjumps]

[ this definitely

has something to do with dirk ]

HE JUST TOLD ME TO GET A STRAIGHT ANSWER FROM YOU???
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
holy fuck dude i just want the seals okay

[parodeity]

lmao did you piss him off somehow
how the fuck do seals come into this
are we talking like naruto seals where your chakra is in danger or
like seals like to stamp on a letter
or like actual seals
there are so many types of seals here you gotta specify

[quadjumps]

i don't think so?
no i'm talking about those alien seals mikleo and sorey found.

[parodeity]

and of course dirk is the seal authority
nice call there
hes their pretty princess benevolently ruling over them all
perfectly capable of giving them to you

[quadjumps]

news flash: HE'S A MERMAN.
HE CAN TALK TO ANIMALS.
SO GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER YOU SHITHEAD

[parodeity]

hmmmmm
i dont think youve given me enough here for me to want to give you a straight answer
what am i getting from this trade
besides insulted
which isnt much of a trade??
you need to praise me first

[quadjumps]

how am i supposed to praise you when i literally know nothing about you

[parodeity]

im dirks brother and im pretty fly for a white guy
build off of that
i will take made up odes to my imaginary qualities as well as my real ones

[quadjumps]

[ jesus this is gonna be a long night. ]

you're sure that isn't just your ego talking

[parodeity]

hey im not the one who needs something from the other guy here
id have to say though that you are not ranking high in the singing my praises list
like
man even my least vocal fans have done better
my finger is being drawn to the x to close this conversation
forever sealing from you the chance my brother will do his merman shit for you
for failing this trial

[quadjumps]

OKAY OKAY FINE JESUS HOLD ON
look
i'm not good at this okay i don't go around praising randos i barely even praise my own friends

[parodeity]

im willing to accept a learning curve
you can do it yuri
wheres my praise ode

[quadjumps]

i'm not writing you an ode dude your font makes my eyes bleed.

[ he's shit at this ]

[parodeity]

wow you really dont want that straight answer do you
its ok you can tell dirk you failed this quest
maybe he can assign you an easymode one instead?

[quadjumps]

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LEARNING CURVE

[parodeity]

you proceeded to not even try to sing my praises but instead hopped straight into insults?

[quadjumps]

look i'm being reasonable an ode is not happening
but okay fine. small talk, whatever.
what do you do in your free time

[parodeity]

ok but there were no compliments at all man
like zero of them
and i am a mystery man of many talents
i ride the smooth waveforms and the jagged ones up and down and then flip them around and mix and match
i chill under seamushrooms and shoot the underwater breeze with nonelectric eels
i do everything i do ever
because all my time is free time
or none of it is
all my time has the same value and the value is me

[quadjumps]

wait
you're the guy who stopped time at the barrier??? that's you right??? blonde dude with shades???

holy shit how did you do that

[parodeity]

my brother might have mastery over creatures of the sea
but time itself bends to my whims
because
it loves me
and also i am under a curse

[quadjumps]

what curse.

[parodeity]

i cant age even a second until i learn the true meaning of love
because like a witch got angry at me and shit
and also it comes with cool time powers
sadly my heart is a shriveled prune and so i am doomed to my eternal good looks fate

[quadjumps]

.