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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

you proceeded to not even try to sing my praises but instead hopped straight into insults?

[quadjumps]

look i'm being reasonable an ode is not happening
but okay fine. small talk, whatever.
what do you do in your free time

[parodeity]

ok but there were no compliments at all man
like zero of them
and i am a mystery man of many talents
i ride the smooth waveforms and the jagged ones up and down and then flip them around and mix and match
i chill under seamushrooms and shoot the underwater breeze with nonelectric eels
i do everything i do ever
because all my time is free time
or none of it is
all my time has the same value and the value is me

[quadjumps]

wait
you're the guy who stopped time at the barrier??? that's you right??? blonde dude with shades???

holy shit how did you do that

[parodeity]

my brother might have mastery over creatures of the sea
but time itself bends to my whims
because
it loves me
and also i am under a curse

[quadjumps]

what curse.

[parodeity]

i cant age even a second until i learn the true meaning of love
because like a witch got angry at me and shit
and also it comes with cool time powers
sadly my heart is a shriveled prune and so i am doomed to my eternal good looks fate

[quadjumps]

.

[parodeity]

i see youve become speechless in the face of my tragic plight
its ok bro
many have wept for me
but so far none have been able to save me
shit maybe ill give you a straight answer if you can break my curse
please teach me the true meaning of love

[quadjumps]

no.

[parodeity]

wow shot thru the heart and youre to blame
you give love
a bad name

[quadjumps]

does it really look like i would know anything about that
oh my god

[parodeity]

youre really struggling here arent you
can you cook

[quadjumps]

what does that have to do with anything..

[parodeity]

im attempting to see if theres any other price you can pay to get yourself out of this mess
since you like
cant compliment me sincerely

[quadjumps]

what would you need me to cook

[parodeity]

can you actually cook or do we need 2 come up with another task for you tho is my question

[quadjumps]

i'm an ice skater i don't have time to cook

[ what????? ]

[parodeity]

youre really bad at negotiations arent you

[quadjumps]

ok look what do you want me to make
i didn't say i don't know how to cook at all

[parodeity]

do you know how to make apple pie

[quadjumps]

maybe
do you?
i'm curious

[parodeity]

it might be among my many talents and skills but it also might not be
who can really say whether or not they can make apple pie
like
there are so many types of apple pie to be made?
and can you just MAKE it or can you make it taste GOOD
there are too many variables to be considered here
its impossible to say yes or no

[quadjumps]

[ holy shit dirk was not kidding when he said this would be a trial ]

okay okay you know what i can make that's good
vatrushka

[parodeity]

[ dave is a rambling menace to society and must be stopped. ]

whats vatrushka
does it involve vats
or bats
im not sure why it would involve bats except they rhyme
actually a lot of unfortunate things rhyme with ats