[ ALSO STOP FUCKING LAUGHING AT HIM, DIRK? DAVE TRIED VERY HARD TO BE REALLY CLEAR and he's going to spend the next week or so wanting to die every second ig. being 17 is hard and even if he survives it bigby will probably kill him when he finally cracks? if he finally cracks.
I'll try to keep an eye out for it, Unless of course I inherently can't. In which case you and the girls will have to tell me off until I work it out, or I guess make me another banner.
You are high school. You are both high school. As you have so often said to me, embrace it.
I'd like to hear it, Oby-One. At the very least it will let you say "I told you so" when I come to the end of my journey and finally realize that I had a heart all along.
the part i meant you might be missing or misconstruing in the romantic sphere of things which is more relevant than any other sphere to our current conversation is that maybe the cute little computer part bugs stuck to your computer could be a hint of some sort god knows theyre probably about as clear as some of your hints which im pretty sure you also make into jokes which probably does help either of our cases in general really ironically, (comma for clarity) ironically hitting upon people has yet to really work for me how about you
i think im in love enough that i dont even fucking care how much mainstream pop crap went into that mortifying though it is though i also keep thinking i can never let it see the light of day at the same time but
If he's actually expressing romantic desire for me, then ironic courtship has been, technically, extremely successful. But ok, I'll try to consider it in light of what you're saying. As difficult as it admittedly is. My main counterpoint is his physical behavior. Dude drapes himself all over me the same way he has our entire friendship. The way he drapes himself over other people he likes and is comfortable with. You would think there would be some change in that kind of behavior if the angle of his interest changed. If you have a solve on that one I'm listening. So far I've just been dying the same way as usual.
This is exactly why you have to send it exactly as is. You know I'm rooting for you, bro. You have to just get it out there. It'll be ok.
why would it change in the hypothetical universe where you and rose and roxy are actually correct and jades maybe hinting shit at me she still hugs me and whatever and like come to think of it i let her take my drinks or food or whatnot and take a drink or bite and it doesnt like freak me out movie style because shes been doing it for fucking ever if anything its nice shes comfortable but ok good youre actually like gonna work on that just dont assume so much about peoples feelings and you should be good
If me, Rose, and Roxy agree on something, we are guaranteed to be correct. It's mathematics, and also science. And philosophy. Ok, now you're making me sound like an asshole, Which is fair, But also, hey.
Anyone with a brain is. Which is why your future father-in-law is opposed.
i didnt mean it like youre an asshole youre not i mean you kind of are we both are but like youre just used to thinking youre right which you frequently are but like not all the time or like sometimes you were ORIGINALLY right but years have passed or whatever and youre not any longer because the formula changed?
You are going font of wisdom today. Not sarcastic there. All of this is really solid advice. I am just getting overwhelmed by your Gandolfery. I'll keep an eye out, I promise. Keep me in line if I don't?
I think that because he's an ass. Dude couldn't untangle himself from red string.
If she did something you wouldn't want the Woofman's associates to know about you know you shouldn't put it in text.
[that's his guess, his guess is Rose broke the law]
ill have you know i shave these days and if i didnt maybe id get the requisite smart dude beard alas i prefer shaving sure if it comes up again ill let you know
wait wait wait you got tangled up in the great string debacle of 2017 with bigby wolf????? and youre only telling me now??????
what no i meant speaking of rose from the beginning of the text anyway that was a terrible guess want to go for a second one
im going to hit pause on the important topic of this conversation to focus on the even more important topic which is that i do fucking so have facial hair growth i have stubble dirk when i do not shave it i need you to acknowledge this very important step in my manhood before we proceed ill take pictures if i gotta
[ maybe not a LOT of stubble but THERE'S ENOUGH TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED?
looks like dirk has to deal with dave being dave before he gets any further in the deets arena. ]
[ this is a stupid detour but DIRK WILL GET PICS of his brother in his pajamas though this is focused on
his face
THERE WAS AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION HAPPENING BEFORE DAVE DERAILED IT? MAYBE? it's worth noting that his pajamas tend to be > plain shirt and pants OR > dumb shirt and plain pants. today it is the latter and he's wearing this for some reason. ok. ]
You're right. I see it now. Damn, Dave. Is that the Mayor of Whoville in there?
I know you are verging on adulthood, legally, but you have to admit that claims to facial hair are not going to get you far on that argument with me. We share genetics. I know what Strider facial hair is. Your ability to acquire a manly stubble is about the same as mine, which is to say that the results for both of us would be laughable. I don't think even our dad could do a convincing beard.
since literally nothing will get me anywhere on that argument with you i should at least be allowed to have the stupid wins also why would he want to dad looks good cleancut not like the stubble look isnt good for sometimes but its not to my tastes i figure youd be more willing to leave it than me actually
yeah nevermind any of this it doesnt fucking matter tho you dont look like a biker coolkid ftr you look generally like a dude who needs to be introduced to the fashion police and immediately booked when you dress yourself at least just saying roxy would back me up here
so anyway rose can tell you about her shit on her own time but it did make me hallucinate something again or whatnot
Hang on. Is this a thing where I shouldn't be making assumptions about things? Because it seems like you're taking this a little more seriously than I am. Are you mad at me for teasing you about our shitty facial hair genetics?
So you didn't make her hallucinate but she made you do it.
no i knew you were giving me a hard time about that for the sake of it
i didnt say that i said rose can tell you about what she had on her own time im not exactly sure wtf these hallucinations are but i figure she can share hers with you if and when she wants you know i just told her in vague terms you had one and i did tell her about the one we shared since that was part mine too but its up to her when she tells people about what she saw you know but its up to me when i tell people about what i saw so
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2/2
fuck he's going to crack. ]
what seriously no critiques
this is so highschool
[ he wants to die!!!!!!!
also, he's a highschool senior? dave come on. ]
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Unless of course I inherently can't.
In which case you and the girls will have to tell me off until I work it out, or I guess make me another banner.
You are high school.
You are both high school.
As you have so often said to me, embrace it.
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ill say so
but i think youd believe it more from yourself maybe
using my words against me
cruel
do you wanna know the worst part
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At the very least it will let you say "I told you so" when I come to the end of my journey and finally realize that I had a heart all along.
I absolutely want to know the worst part.
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which is more relevant than any other sphere to our current conversation
is that maybe
the cute little computer part bugs stuck to your computer
could be a hint of some sort
god knows theyre probably about as clear as some of your hints
which im pretty sure you also make into jokes
which
probably does help either of our cases in general really
ironically, (comma for clarity) ironically hitting upon people has yet to really work for me
how about you
i think im in love enough that i dont even fucking care how much mainstream pop crap went into that
mortifying though it is
though i also keep thinking i can never let it see the light of day at the same time
but
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But ok, I'll try to consider it in light of what you're saying.
As difficult as it admittedly is.
My main counterpoint is his physical behavior.
Dude drapes himself all over me the same way he has our entire friendship. The way he drapes himself over other people he likes and is comfortable with.
You would think there would be some change in that kind of behavior if the angle of his interest changed.
If you have a solve on that one I'm listening.
So far I've just been dying the same way as usual.
This is exactly why you have to send it exactly as is.
You know I'm rooting for you, bro.
You have to just get it out there.
It'll be ok.
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in the hypothetical universe where you and rose and roxy are actually correct
and jades maybe hinting shit at me
she still hugs me and whatever
and like
come to think of it
i let her take my drinks or food or whatnot and take a drink or bite and it doesnt like
freak me out movie style
because shes been doing it for fucking ever
if anything its nice shes comfortable
but ok good youre actually like
gonna work on that
just dont assume so much about peoples feelings and you should be good
yeah yeah
i know youre always on team dave
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It's mathematics, and also science.
And philosophy.
Ok, now you're making me sound like an asshole,
Which is fair,
But also, hey.
Anyone with a brain is.
Which is why your future father-in-law is opposed.
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youre not
i mean you kind of are we both are but like
youre just used to thinking youre right
which you frequently are but like
not all the time
or like sometimes you were ORIGINALLY right
but years have passed or whatever and youre not any longer
because the formula changed?
you just think that b/c hes a cop
speaking of rose guess what
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Not sarcastic there. All of this is really solid advice.
I am just getting overwhelmed by your Gandolfery.
I'll keep an eye out, I promise. Keep me in line if I don't?
I think that because he's an ass. Dude couldn't untangle himself from red string.
If she did something you wouldn't want the Woofman's associates to know about you know you shouldn't put it in text.
[that's his guess, his guess is Rose broke the law]
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and if i didnt maybe id get the requisite smart dude beard
alas i prefer shaving
sure
if it comes up again ill let you know
wait wait wait
you got tangled up in the great string debacle of 2017
with bigby wolf?????
and youre only telling me now??????
what no
i meant speaking of rose from the beginning of the text
anyway
that was a terrible guess
want to go for a second one
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She has finally managed to summon a tentacled cat from the abyss?
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nah but i told her about the hallucinations
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That is, not in this reality.
Did you give her a hallucination?
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which is that i do fucking so have facial hair growth
i have stubble dirk
when i do not shave it
i need you to acknowledge this very important step in my manhood before we proceed
ill take pictures if i gotta
[ maybe not a LOT of stubble but THERE'S ENOUGH TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED?
looks like dirk has to deal with dave being dave before he gets any further in the deets arena. ]
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Its non-happening will otherwise be assumed.
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[ this is a stupid detour but DIRK WILL GET PICS of his brother in his pajamas though this is focused on
his face
THERE WAS AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION HAPPENING BEFORE DAVE DERAILED IT? MAYBE? it's worth noting that his pajamas tend to be > plain shirt and pants OR > dumb shirt and plain pants. today it is the latter and he's wearing this for some reason. ok. ]
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Nice suit.
[There was an important conversation but now??? Dirk is bullying his baby brother]
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and obviously its a nice suit im a classy motherfucker didnt you know
come on i know its terrifying to you that im not a kid anymore but you have to admit the stuff thats obvious
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Damn, Dave.
Is that the Mayor of Whoville in there?
I know you are verging on adulthood, legally, but you have to admit that claims to facial hair are not going to get you far on that argument with me.
We share genetics. I know what Strider facial hair is.
Your ability to acquire a manly stubble is about the same as mine, which is to say that the results for both of us would be laughable.
I don't think even our dad could do a convincing beard.
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also why would he want to
dad looks good cleancut
not like the stubble look isnt good for sometimes but its not to my tastes
i figure youd be more willing to leave it than me actually
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I will acknowledge.
You are capable of the same subpar level of facial hair growth as I am.
It would go too well with the biker coolkid look. I need some contrast in my appearance.
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it doesnt fucking matter
tho you dont look like a biker coolkid ftr
you look generally like a dude who needs to be introduced to the fashion police and immediately booked
when you dress yourself at least
just saying
roxy would back me up here
so anyway rose can tell you about her shit on her own time but it did make me
hallucinate something again or whatnot
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Is this a thing where I shouldn't be making assumptions about things?
Because it seems like you're taking this a little more seriously than I am.
Are you mad at me for teasing you about our shitty facial hair genetics?
So you didn't make her hallucinate but she made you do it.
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i knew you were giving me a hard time about that for the sake of it
i didnt say that
i said rose can tell you about what she had on her own time
im not exactly sure wtf these hallucinations are
but i figure she can share hers with you if and when she wants you know
i just told her in vague terms you had one and i did tell her about the one we shared since that was part mine too
but its up to her when she tells people about what she saw you know
but its up to me when i tell people about what i saw
so
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