You are going font of wisdom today. Not sarcastic there. All of this is really solid advice. I am just getting overwhelmed by your Gandolfery. I'll keep an eye out, I promise. Keep me in line if I don't?
I think that because he's an ass. Dude couldn't untangle himself from red string.
If she did something you wouldn't want the Woofman's associates to know about you know you shouldn't put it in text.
[that's his guess, his guess is Rose broke the law]
ill have you know i shave these days and if i didnt maybe id get the requisite smart dude beard alas i prefer shaving sure if it comes up again ill let you know
wait wait wait you got tangled up in the great string debacle of 2017 with bigby wolf????? and youre only telling me now??????
what no i meant speaking of rose from the beginning of the text anyway that was a terrible guess want to go for a second one
im going to hit pause on the important topic of this conversation to focus on the even more important topic which is that i do fucking so have facial hair growth i have stubble dirk when i do not shave it i need you to acknowledge this very important step in my manhood before we proceed ill take pictures if i gotta
[ maybe not a LOT of stubble but THERE'S ENOUGH TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED?
looks like dirk has to deal with dave being dave before he gets any further in the deets arena. ]
[ this is a stupid detour but DIRK WILL GET PICS of his brother in his pajamas though this is focused on
his face
THERE WAS AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION HAPPENING BEFORE DAVE DERAILED IT? MAYBE? it's worth noting that his pajamas tend to be > plain shirt and pants OR > dumb shirt and plain pants. today it is the latter and he's wearing this for some reason. ok. ]
You're right. I see it now. Damn, Dave. Is that the Mayor of Whoville in there?
I know you are verging on adulthood, legally, but you have to admit that claims to facial hair are not going to get you far on that argument with me. We share genetics. I know what Strider facial hair is. Your ability to acquire a manly stubble is about the same as mine, which is to say that the results for both of us would be laughable. I don't think even our dad could do a convincing beard.
since literally nothing will get me anywhere on that argument with you i should at least be allowed to have the stupid wins also why would he want to dad looks good cleancut not like the stubble look isnt good for sometimes but its not to my tastes i figure youd be more willing to leave it than me actually
yeah nevermind any of this it doesnt fucking matter tho you dont look like a biker coolkid ftr you look generally like a dude who needs to be introduced to the fashion police and immediately booked when you dress yourself at least just saying roxy would back me up here
so anyway rose can tell you about her shit on her own time but it did make me hallucinate something again or whatnot
Hang on. Is this a thing where I shouldn't be making assumptions about things? Because it seems like you're taking this a little more seriously than I am. Are you mad at me for teasing you about our shitty facial hair genetics?
So you didn't make her hallucinate but she made you do it.
no i knew you were giving me a hard time about that for the sake of it
i didnt say that i said rose can tell you about what she had on her own time im not exactly sure wtf these hallucinations are but i figure she can share hers with you if and when she wants you know i just told her in vague terms you had one and i did tell her about the one we shared since that was part mine too but its up to her when she tells people about what she saw you know but its up to me when i tell people about what i saw so
[ look maybe he'll bring it up again in a bit but he should probably share information first, HE'S AT LEAST RELIABLE THERE. ]
ill spare you like a bunch of bullshit since i was talking to rose and you know how we get apparently the hallucinations are true to form there but anyway when we finished an extended metaphor about burger king dont ask we got on the topic that i messaged her for i guess about my dreams which were not about puppets (?) but were about be dying repeatedly which i found relaxing and enjoyable and i wasnt even being fully sarcastic
That is a weird thing to hallucinate. Although it is less bizarre that if you were having relaxing dreams about dying, you'd message your twin. She would have a party with those. Right before we all had a family meeting to check up on you.
right anyway i described some dreams that i am probably going to start having because my brain hates me? fingers crossed i dont tho they sound terribad and then rose started getting weird about mom and so did i i accused her of like insinuating we were related a lot and she asked me if i was sure her mom wasnt my mom which is stupid because obviously her mom is my mom but then the conversation got super weird super weirder
well come back to that in a bit but i know but anyway i told her that the conversation we were having wasnt right because it wasnt what happened at all originally months ago and then i asked her if i was dead and rose asked me what i thought because shes a fucking asshole and wont just TELL a dude if hes dead even in weird hallucinations she has to be all cagey about it and also trap a dude into talking about his weird crowladen dreams i asked if i was dead or asleep and she told me i should be able to remember and said some bullshit about how maybe she didnt know either which i OBVIOUSLY didnt buy and asked me am i dead or asleep dave? try to remember
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Not sarcastic there. All of this is really solid advice.
I am just getting overwhelmed by your Gandolfery.
I'll keep an eye out, I promise. Keep me in line if I don't?
I think that because he's an ass. Dude couldn't untangle himself from red string.
If she did something you wouldn't want the Woofman's associates to know about you know you shouldn't put it in text.
[that's his guess, his guess is Rose broke the law]
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and if i didnt maybe id get the requisite smart dude beard
alas i prefer shaving
sure
if it comes up again ill let you know
wait wait wait
you got tangled up in the great string debacle of 2017
with bigby wolf?????
and youre only telling me now??????
what no
i meant speaking of rose from the beginning of the text
anyway
that was a terrible guess
want to go for a second one
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She has finally managed to summon a tentacled cat from the abyss?
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nah but i told her about the hallucinations
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That is, not in this reality.
Did you give her a hallucination?
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which is that i do fucking so have facial hair growth
i have stubble dirk
when i do not shave it
i need you to acknowledge this very important step in my manhood before we proceed
ill take pictures if i gotta
[ maybe not a LOT of stubble but THERE'S ENOUGH TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED?
looks like dirk has to deal with dave being dave before he gets any further in the deets arena. ]
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Its non-happening will otherwise be assumed.
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[ this is a stupid detour but DIRK WILL GET PICS of his brother in his pajamas though this is focused on
his face
THERE WAS AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION HAPPENING BEFORE DAVE DERAILED IT? MAYBE? it's worth noting that his pajamas tend to be > plain shirt and pants OR > dumb shirt and plain pants. today it is the latter and he's wearing this for some reason. ok. ]
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Nice suit.
[There was an important conversation but now??? Dirk is bullying his baby brother]
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and obviously its a nice suit im a classy motherfucker didnt you know
come on i know its terrifying to you that im not a kid anymore but you have to admit the stuff thats obvious
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Damn, Dave.
Is that the Mayor of Whoville in there?
I know you are verging on adulthood, legally, but you have to admit that claims to facial hair are not going to get you far on that argument with me.
We share genetics. I know what Strider facial hair is.
Your ability to acquire a manly stubble is about the same as mine, which is to say that the results for both of us would be laughable.
I don't think even our dad could do a convincing beard.
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also why would he want to
dad looks good cleancut
not like the stubble look isnt good for sometimes but its not to my tastes
i figure youd be more willing to leave it than me actually
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I will acknowledge.
You are capable of the same subpar level of facial hair growth as I am.
It would go too well with the biker coolkid look. I need some contrast in my appearance.
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it doesnt fucking matter
tho you dont look like a biker coolkid ftr
you look generally like a dude who needs to be introduced to the fashion police and immediately booked
when you dress yourself at least
just saying
roxy would back me up here
so anyway rose can tell you about her shit on her own time but it did make me
hallucinate something again or whatnot
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Is this a thing where I shouldn't be making assumptions about things?
Because it seems like you're taking this a little more seriously than I am.
Are you mad at me for teasing you about our shitty facial hair genetics?
So you didn't make her hallucinate but she made you do it.
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i knew you were giving me a hard time about that for the sake of it
i didnt say that
i said rose can tell you about what she had on her own time
im not exactly sure wtf these hallucinations are
but i figure she can share hers with you if and when she wants you know
i just told her in vague terms you had one and i did tell her about the one we shared since that was part mine too
but its up to her when she tells people about what she saw you know
but its up to me when i tell people about what i saw
so
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Ok, cool.
Are you going to tell me what you saw?
[OR WAS THAT PREAMBLE ALL. ITSELF?]
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yeah
i saw rose
or well
i didnt see her actually
i was talking to her on my phone
she was taking her obnoxious purple prose schtick to the next level
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Was that it?
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ill spare you like
a bunch of bullshit
since i was talking to rose and you know how we get
apparently the hallucinations are true to form there
but anyway when we finished an extended metaphor about burger king
dont ask
we got on the topic that i messaged her for i guess
about my dreams
which were not about puppets (?)
but were about be dying repeatedly
which i found relaxing and enjoyable and i wasnt even being fully sarcastic
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Although it is less bizarre that if you were having relaxing dreams about dying, you'd message your twin.
She would have a party with those.
Right before we all had a family meeting to check up on you.
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i am probably going to start having because my brain hates me?
fingers crossed i dont tho they sound terribad
and then rose started getting weird about mom
and so did i
i accused her of like insinuating we were related a lot
and she asked me if i was sure her mom wasnt my mom
which is stupid
because obviously her mom is my mom
but then the conversation got super weird
super weirder
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Let me know if you start getting nightmares.
You can come hang with us any time, you know.
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but anyway
i told her that the conversation we were having wasnt right
because it wasnt what happened at all originally
months ago
and then i asked her if i was dead
and rose asked me what i thought
because shes a fucking asshole and wont just TELL a dude if hes dead even in weird hallucinations
she has to be all cagey about it
and also trap a dude into talking about his weird crowladen dreams
i asked if i was dead or asleep and she told me i should be able to remember
and said some bullshit about how maybe she didnt know either which i OBVIOUSLY didnt buy
and asked me
am i dead or asleep dave?
try to remember
and that was it
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Ok.
That one is more disturbing than the sugary drug trips.
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