parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 2.0;

So I'm gonna nap for a million years. Wake me up only when nothing is happening.

[Dirk flops on the couch. It is a sprawl.]

[ he gets a raised eyebrow as dave flips another page in yet another Book Club Book (this is too gothic for him but he can't let rose win) and fails to move from like, his own spot...

yeah he's not even on the couch he was sitting in front of it for some reason leaning back against it, legs stretched out on the floor. this seems like a good way to trip people but luckily the only people around to be tripped are dirk. and he's dirk. ]

Yeah ok. Whenever you wake up you can see the cool thing I did earlier. Y'okay?

[ for a wonder he doesn't look tense as fuck even in the lowkey way it'd simmered down to eventually thanks team anti warpers ]

[Dirk immediately sits up.]

What's the cool thing?

[It's a Dave thing so he wants to see it!]

Lay back down, idiot.

[ he lets his head flop onto the cushion of the couch he's leaning up against. ]

I oversold it with "cool". And you didn't answer my question?

I'm just tired from all of it.

[Working, dream self travelling, etc etc. He flops back down.]

So what is it?

Then go to sleep. Though there's a bed for that, you realize.

[ COULD'VE GONE THERE INSTEAD OF JUST FLOPPING DOWN IN THE ROOM DAVE HAPPENED TO BE IN, DIRK.

he shuts the book and tilts his head towards dirk. ]

Gimme the odds on you goin' the fuck to sleep without knowin' what it is.

[No he wants to flop near Dave!!!]

I'm projecting a probability of 0.000000000%.

A'ight, a'ight. Prepare to be super disappointed. Stay.

[ that's said like you might say something to a dog? oops?? he captchalogues the book and is on his feet in zero seconds, flashstepping out of the room and back.

what he comes back with is a bowl with dried orange peel potpourri. at least everything is cut really precisely, because despite his distaste for metal and blades dave can wield them very well. there...weren't a ton of spices on hand so it's mostly just. orange peels. but there you go, dirk. a bowl of smelly stuff as per monica of friends.

dave just sets it on the coffee table, then opts to sit on the couch this time, shifting dirk's feet so he can sit down. ]

[It's potpourri. It is a weird, orange-based potpourri bowl. It is a bowl that would make Monica from Friends proud. It is so stupid.]

Oh my God, this is hilarious. We need to put it on a random and unnecessary table.

[Obviously his feet moved for Dave? Also obviously Dirk wants to reach out and touch it but he was told to stay so he's just. trying to reach it while simultaneously laying down. long limbs, why do you fail him now.]

[ he can move his feet back now that dave is settled if he wants but. what the fuck are you doing dirk. ]

I mean, the coffee table is kind of that? But if you want to make a random unnecessary table for it, go for it. After you actually, like, sleep. I have never actually heard you say the words "I'm tired", that's some sort of miracle that should not be ignored?

[Feet back on Dave, okay.]

It was a figure of speech.

[It was not a figure of speech.]

It... was a suspenseful trip in the dreamscape. You look more relaxed now.

My head isn't killin' me, and you never use that as a figure of speech, ever. Literally you are the energizer bunny, you're up all the fuckin' time and when you go to bed it's usually "oh hey, I guess that is a thing I should do" not "oh hey I need to do this and actually feel it".

[ he's slouching back into the couch, but dave is actually careful not to jostle dirk for whatever reason. ]

Is "suspenseful" gonna be the total summation of that, or will you be givin' more details after you go the fuck to sleep?

I could probably build a table before napping.

[This is a token fight. It is token because Dirk can't resist defending his wakeful honour once it has been pointed out to him that he admitted to being tired.]

Titania kept us safe through the Void. This did not stop the occasional dream Reaper from striking out, or the Sea Dragon from angrily shouting at us from a distance.

[But that isn't what got to Dirk. He frowns, looking at the ceiling.] The dreamscape is kind of like the soul of the planet. Out here, it's more collective and diffused with the souls of everything on it. We kept going deeper.

No, you couldn't. You're banned from makin' shit rn.

[ not that it really matters...... ]

So do you have soul overdose or somethin'?

[ dave crosses his arms and looks over at dirk, trying to gauge what's worrying him, if anything. ]

Partly that. [Definitely partly that. He has been in his aspect before but he had encountered a planet soul.] It feels trite and over-simplistic to just say that the planet's soul was big. But it was.

Show me?

[ or not, since it's a request and not a demand. dave's neutral expression shifts to legitimate concern; it's not like he's unfamiliar with having too much of his aspect at once. THANKS, STUPID PORTALS. ]

Also, are you gonna actually go to bed or am I gonna have to rp you and like ferry you there.

That feels like a dangerous idea. [Not the rping; showing Dave the soul.] It is not the greatest thing in the world when a planet with Two-Face syndrome wants you to feel that.

[It's why he isn't wanting to expose Dave to it. It was horrible.]

I can sleep here.

[Where Dave is, with Dave as a footrest.]

Hey, I showed you mine. [ re: portals. also, now he's legitimately frowning. ]

C'mon. Also, no you can't. So like, piggy back or walk, bro, pick your poison.

Nn. [Articulate.] When you're lying down.

[Dirk however will get up and he will WALK TO BED, HE GUESSES...]

I would've carried you.

[ he's kind of laughing now. ]

Also, I like how you decided without any input from me that imma nap with you.

[ is he teasing or. ]

[He pauses, and rather stupidly, he looks back at the couch.]

Sorry. Just, it's best you don't feel that unless you're sitting or something. You don't have to come. I'll make it.

[ dave, having already gotten to his feet, simply goes to slap the back of dirk's head, slow enough it can be easily dodged. ]

I was jokin'. Let's go.

[He does dodge it although only barely.]

You can go back to whatever you were doing.

[Joke missed.]

So you don't want me to come with suddenly?

[ still in tones of amusement, but. ]

I was goin' to sing you a lullaby and everythin'.

[ that's. so specific? does dave want to sing a lullaby. maybe. does he want dirk to sing him one. maybe. don't think about it too deeply dirk ]

There's a lullaby.

[?

Dave just said there's a lullaby, Dirk. Believe him.

Or he could... shuffle closer, a little, kinda like he wants to shift his weight onto Dave but is resisting doing so.]

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