recollé ic inbox 4.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

GO HERE FOR NEW THREADS!!!!!!! This one loads slow for me.

Comments

[parodeity]

[ hi, john. it's malik's birthday so he definitely would have asked john to help him make pumpkin cake at some point on the grounds it's a vegetable but also he is wearing this along with his stupid black skinny jeans.

he just.

stares, and immediately reaches out for john's jaw - sees the bruising and shifts to touch his cheek - to very gently tilt his face over towards dave so he can examine the extent of the damage here. ]

...Dude, what the fuck?

[ IT WAS ONE HOUR ]

[windeity]

[Pumpkin cake would have been a thing, yes, and he probably made dramatic groaning noises at the sweater. However none of that is happening and he frowns a little while Dave looks him over.]

I have been trying to figure that out myself. I went back to the mall for some stuff while you were with Malik and I was going to return my Santa suit since it's not mine.

[parodeity]

You should buy one of your own, but not the point. [ his fingers are just going to prod extremely gently to check that john's nose really isn't broken; he's clinical about it and seems to know what he's doing, anyway. ]

[windeity]

We need to talk about your Santa thing later. [There's a sharp inhale despite Dave being careful and gentle but his eyes cross in an effort to see what Dave's doing. It's not a broken nose, but it's pretty clear it took a hard hit.]

[parodeity]

Didn't ask you to make out with me in it or anything, so chill. [ ...NOT THAT HE WOULD SPECIFICALLY BE OPPOSED? okay let's not think about that dave that's weird. ] Who hit you?

[ also is john sitting in the driver's seat still. dave's going to let go and shift out of the car if so, so they can trade places. ]

[windeity]

The beard would get in the way. [It's mumbled. But also he's just going to slide out of the driver's seat to trade places. He's sort and sort of hunched over from where he got kicked/punched in the gut but he settles down and leans against the door.]

Um. A really angry teenager that yelled a lot? And I think maybe had a fake arm because that shit hurt.

[parodeity]

Beards don't get in the way if you know how to work 'em. [ NOT THE POINT. ] Lots of eyeliner?

[ he just reaches over when he gets in to do john's seat buckle and taps his fingers on the steering wheel before coming to the conclusion he has what he needs for this back at the room. he just has to loop and put the thing in the freezer...

the car starts up and he checks the mirrors to back out. ]

[windeity]

I'm not going to ask about beards either. And I guess? Sort of looks like the bargain bin at Hot Topic. [Not really he's just mad. He's also curling up to close his eyes a bit.] But I totally turned into the wind to dodge so that was pretty sweet.

[parodeity]

What, you don't want to hear about my hot makeout sessions with long-bearded older dudes? [ that don't exist? backed out, he turns the car the proper way and starts driving back. he probably goes a little faster than john but he's still Pretty Legal. ] ...Also, I'm torn between relief and annoyance you got that back. Please stick to using it on me in strifes and not outside of it. Why did James punch you?

[windeity]

Later. [He's not even remotely serious and yet.] But okay...I don't know? I made a joke and he took it poorly and started yelling and then punched me so I started punching back, sort of.

[parodeity]

I'd ask how bad the joke was, but yeah, no, he has a hairtrigger temper. [ dave has thus far not managed to set it off, but he also never set off malik, so. CONTINUES DRIVING. ] Is this a "you should see the other guy" situation, or did you totally lose?

[windeity]

Yeah, I noticed. [There's a sigh, followed by an "ow" because breathing hurts a little.] I totally lost but only because we were drawing way too much attention and I am not stupid enough to fight a teenager and get charged as an adult. And also I tried the "reason with him" thing and that definitely didn't work so it was just a lot of yelling and tackling.

[parodeity]

Babe, no, the way to deal with him is to just let him think he's right and not, like, engage any of the angry bullshit. [ ...DAVE? THAT'S NOT ADDRESSING ANY PROBLEMS WHATSOEVER ] Anyway, stop talking for a bit, we'll be home in a few.

[ and he heard the ow and there's no reason to make john do extra shit. ]

[windeity]

That would have helped an hour ago. [But fine, fine.] Pretty sure they arrested him. [And he almost sounds a little unhappy about that but he goes quiet and just lets Dave drive.]

[parodeity]

Super not your fault, John. [ he doesn't even have a detailed account of events but he is just 100% certain john wouldn't throw the first punch.

like. not in those circumstances?

but eventually they get back to the dorm and the car gets turned off and dave's out of the car and around to open john's door barely a second later. ]

[windeity]

[A shrug.] I probably should have walked away. [It's a weird thing and he still feels bad about it. But he waits for Dave to open the door and he gets out of the car, stretching uncomfortably as he heads for the dorm.]

[parodeity]

Not your fault. [ also, cool.

as soon as they're in the dorm dave locks the door (typical) and heads for his closet. ]

Shirt off, Egbert.

[windeity]

[He's just going to stare at Dave for a minute and there's a slightly laugh.] Trying to get me naked so soon? [It's a joke that falls flat and the laugh dies as he moves to sit on their bed. The shirt comes off and he hands his head in between his knees while the world spins a little.]

[parodeity]

Your lack of virtue is perfectly safe with me, chill. This isn't a boyfriend thing. [ what he fishes out is a first aid kit, after which he heads back over to the bed. lord. ]

This is a "I know what it looks like when someone gets their ass handed to them" thing and I can't patch you up without seeing the full extent of the damage.

[windeity]

I've never been hit with a fake arm before. [It's mumbled and he's still not fully sitting up.] I'll be fine, Dave. It's mostly bruising I think.

[What if he just sort of lists to the side and leans against him instead?] The worst part is I was dressed as Santa.

[parodeity]

Worried about the kids? Also, sit up for me for just a bit, babe. Please? [ he’s opening the kit although he produces an ice pack he looped to provide himself so John can hold that to his face while dave patches up anything else. ]

[windeity]

I am not sure what is worse, kids watching Santa wrestle with a mall goth, the fact that my face feels like it's throbbing, or the impending drycleaning bill to get blood out of the Santa suit. [But okay. There's an inhale and he sits up slowly. There's the beginning of some bruising around his stomach and chest and around his collar bone/neck but at least his nose is the only thing that was bleeding.]

[parodeity]

[ dave is definitely doing a thorough and too-competent check to make sure nothing is broken or fractured, fingers cold as ever against john's skin. he really doesn't seem to be interested in anything other than checking john over for injuries, so there's that? he's extremely focused.

he does get up and move away after that - too fast - to come back with a warm washcloth, though, so he can clean off john's face and whatever else with blood, still gentle. ]

[windeity]

[He's very still through all of this and he's staring straight ahead and blank. His breathing is quiet and shallow almost and he jerks in surprise when there's suddenly a warm cloth on his face. But he's still again after that.]

...it never occurred to me to use one of the hammers. [Which might have been for the best, but.]

[parodeity]

That's because you're a very good person. [ after he's done with the washcloth and fussing in that direction he's off the bed again and dipping by the minifridge.

in a second hes back with water and two pills, which he holds out. ]

Tylenol.