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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[windeity]

I'm not going to ask about beards either. And I guess? Sort of looks like the bargain bin at Hot Topic. [Not really he's just mad. He's also curling up to close his eyes a bit.] But I totally turned into the wind to dodge so that was pretty sweet.

[parodeity]

What, you don't want to hear about my hot makeout sessions with long-bearded older dudes? [ that don't exist? backed out, he turns the car the proper way and starts driving back. he probably goes a little faster than john but he's still Pretty Legal. ] ...Also, I'm torn between relief and annoyance you got that back. Please stick to using it on me in strifes and not outside of it. Why did James punch you?

[windeity]

Later. [He's not even remotely serious and yet.] But okay...I don't know? I made a joke and he took it poorly and started yelling and then punched me so I started punching back, sort of.

[parodeity]

I'd ask how bad the joke was, but yeah, no, he has a hairtrigger temper. [ dave has thus far not managed to set it off, but he also never set off malik, so. CONTINUES DRIVING. ] Is this a "you should see the other guy" situation, or did you totally lose?

[windeity]

Yeah, I noticed. [There's a sigh, followed by an "ow" because breathing hurts a little.] I totally lost but only because we were drawing way too much attention and I am not stupid enough to fight a teenager and get charged as an adult. And also I tried the "reason with him" thing and that definitely didn't work so it was just a lot of yelling and tackling.

[parodeity]

Babe, no, the way to deal with him is to just let him think he's right and not, like, engage any of the angry bullshit. [ ...DAVE? THAT'S NOT ADDRESSING ANY PROBLEMS WHATSOEVER ] Anyway, stop talking for a bit, we'll be home in a few.

[ and he heard the ow and there's no reason to make john do extra shit. ]

[windeity]

That would have helped an hour ago. [But fine, fine.] Pretty sure they arrested him. [And he almost sounds a little unhappy about that but he goes quiet and just lets Dave drive.]

[parodeity]

Super not your fault, John. [ he doesn't even have a detailed account of events but he is just 100% certain john wouldn't throw the first punch.

like. not in those circumstances?

but eventually they get back to the dorm and the car gets turned off and dave's out of the car and around to open john's door barely a second later. ]

[windeity]

[A shrug.] I probably should have walked away. [It's a weird thing and he still feels bad about it. But he waits for Dave to open the door and he gets out of the car, stretching uncomfortably as he heads for the dorm.]

[parodeity]

Not your fault. [ also, cool.

as soon as they're in the dorm dave locks the door (typical) and heads for his closet. ]

Shirt off, Egbert.

[windeity]

[He's just going to stare at Dave for a minute and there's a slightly laugh.] Trying to get me naked so soon? [It's a joke that falls flat and the laugh dies as he moves to sit on their bed. The shirt comes off and he hands his head in between his knees while the world spins a little.]

[parodeity]

Your lack of virtue is perfectly safe with me, chill. This isn't a boyfriend thing. [ what he fishes out is a first aid kit, after which he heads back over to the bed. lord. ]

This is a "I know what it looks like when someone gets their ass handed to them" thing and I can't patch you up without seeing the full extent of the damage.

[windeity]

I've never been hit with a fake arm before. [It's mumbled and he's still not fully sitting up.] I'll be fine, Dave. It's mostly bruising I think.

[What if he just sort of lists to the side and leans against him instead?] The worst part is I was dressed as Santa.

[parodeity]

Worried about the kids? Also, sit up for me for just a bit, babe. Please? [ he’s opening the kit although he produces an ice pack he looped to provide himself so John can hold that to his face while dave patches up anything else. ]

[windeity]

I am not sure what is worse, kids watching Santa wrestle with a mall goth, the fact that my face feels like it's throbbing, or the impending drycleaning bill to get blood out of the Santa suit. [But okay. There's an inhale and he sits up slowly. There's the beginning of some bruising around his stomach and chest and around his collar bone/neck but at least his nose is the only thing that was bleeding.]

[parodeity]

[ dave is definitely doing a thorough and too-competent check to make sure nothing is broken or fractured, fingers cold as ever against john's skin. he really doesn't seem to be interested in anything other than checking john over for injuries, so there's that? he's extremely focused.

he does get up and move away after that - too fast - to come back with a warm washcloth, though, so he can clean off john's face and whatever else with blood, still gentle. ]

[windeity]

[He's very still through all of this and he's staring straight ahead and blank. His breathing is quiet and shallow almost and he jerks in surprise when there's suddenly a warm cloth on his face. But he's still again after that.]

...it never occurred to me to use one of the hammers. [Which might have been for the best, but.]

[parodeity]

That's because you're a very good person. [ after he's done with the washcloth and fussing in that direction he's off the bed again and dipping by the minifridge.

in a second hes back with water and two pills, which he holds out. ]

Tylenol.

[windeity]

[His face is a lot less bloody at least and his nose will probably be fine but his eyes are half-closed anyway.]

Thanks. [Water and pills immediately disappear into his mouth and a hand comes up to carefully rub at his eyes and push his glasses up into his hair.]

Anyway yes, maybe, but that kind of puts us at a disadvantage since if I get caught off-guard and can't equip one of my hammers fast enough I get fucked. I kind of knew it was a loss since he tackled me first and I wasn't about to actually knock out some fucked-up kid.

[...this sounds weirdly like "I let myself get beat up" but he definitely Tried to get James to back off, so.] I forgot how much getting hit in the face sucks.

[parodeity]

[ yeah the glasses are whisked off of his head and put onto the bedside table thing. ]

It wasn't an actual combat scenario, John. If it were like...I don't know, a monster? I am pretty sure your first instinct would have been different. You're not...always in the zone. [ he also takes the water glass and sets that aside, then ditches the first aid kit into his inventory and kicks off his shoes.

john seems kind of out of it so he'll kneel down to untie john's shoes and pull them off. ]

[windeity]

[Bye glasses. John's mostly just kind of blinded by the low-throbbing pain in his face but not too bad off all things considered. Nevertheless he's also just kind of letting Dave do whatever.

Enjoy his dumbass socks.]

Probably, yes. Who's the weird green guy? [Context might help.]

[parodeity]

[ weird...green guy... ]

Explain further? [ is john in jeans or what. ]

[windeity]

[He's in jeans, yes. But he lets his eyes shut completely while he thinks on that.]

He looked like a green skeleton and he had red eyes, but they weren't pretty like yours. [Thanks John.] Had a Time outfit though.

[parodeity]

Sounds like the big bad. [ to john's closet we go to pick out pajamas, which he brings back. ] I'll undo your jeans if you don't change yourself?

[ a threat ???? apparently but. ]

[windeity]

Hot. [But it's nothing and he forces his eyes open so he can slip out of his jeans and into his pajama pants even while he's talking.]

Maybe. All I remember is tackling him, punching him in a face a couple of times and then I ended up accidentally zapping away.