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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[windeity]

[Doing his best: a John Egbert story. Still he's not pulling away for once and he's settled for kissing him, leaning into his space and carefully figuring out how to work his mouth over Dave's.

Granted this works for a few minutes before John's hand on the seat slips and he topples, mouth ripping away from Dave's and hands scrambling not to fall directly into his lap which means grabbing at the seat and sitting upright instead.]

...[What if he just kind of starts laughing instead because please kill him.]

[parodeity]

[ ...snorts. ]

Smooth. [ i mean that was sort of dave's fault for choosing to start this at the most Awkward angle known to mankind but he's like. leaning back in his seat now and just kind of amused. ] This was maybe not the best idea.

[windeity]

Apple pancakes. [That's all he says with a silly sort of grin, sitting up a little further instead.]

[parodeity]

Is that a safe word, or are you offering to make them, or what? They're less effective if you don't, like, have apple flavor.

[ you lost him, john. ]

[windeity]

No. [Shaking his head is a go.] That's how long I've wanted to kiss you. Or at least that is about when I started really considering it.

[parodeity]

Okay, because it would be a crap safe word. [ let it go, dave. ] ...But seriously? Why?

[ you can't just ask people why they wanted to kiss you probably AND YET ]

[windeity]

[What if he just stares at Dave instead.]

First flight, apple pancakes, the bunny from the box, ice skating. [These are apparently all times John thought about kissing Dave and came close to it.] I do not know. I just felt like it. You just...said some things or did some things and I realized I really liked you. That's all.

[parodeity]

[ WOW. OKAY. ]

Waltzing on the roof, of course, escaped this list somehow. I need to up my game. [ although he admits like a half second later: ] I genuinely wasn't comin' on to you with that.

[windeity]

I know. You just wanted a dance partner and you got me instead. [...but there's another sly grin.] Does that mean you were coming onto me those other times?

[parodeity]

No. [ again, opting for honesty here. ] I never let myself come onto you on purpose, so when it happened it was the usual accidental bullshit a lot of people get from me, maybe to...greater degrees.

[ he doesn't specify that it's because "you're kind of super straight" since yeah. ]

...I was at work the other day but I didn't mean much by it other than you started it and I was damned if I wasn't gonna finish it.

[windeity]

Oh. [..well this got awkward. Better bumble the fuck through it.] ...I didn't say anything for a while because I wanted to make sure what this was wasn't misreading things from you or from myself. We've been friends for a really long time and I didn't want to think this was just a friends thing and not me wanting you on a whole other level.

[...] I kind of figured out that it was something more than friends when I spent a month working on your birthday present and it turned into a love song. And maybe I was kind of unsure what it meant to have feelings for you but here we are. Flirting with you got to be really, really dangerous because I wasn't sure I could stop after a while and then I guess I just decided I did not want to. And it's...I kind of want you to come onto me on purpose now? [Sigh.] So that is when I figured out the thing I wanted was dating.

[parodeity]

[ dave wasn't even trying to make it awkward he was just trying to answer Honestly ]

Like with innuendo?? I can make some up right now if you want. [ - and now he's not sure what the point is but like HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO COME ONTO JOHN. ] I can talk more about candy canes and stuff.

[windeity]

Like with whatever, you were doing fine on your own can we just pretend I didn't say anything and leave it as "I have wanted to kiss you for a long time and I want to get out of the car so we can do that again" please?

[...although.] Fuck you and the candy canes, by the way, that was not fair and if I thought you were into it I would have kissed you in that closet.

[parodeity]

Okay, fun fact to file away for future reference: I sure as fuck do not go to that length for usual joking. So. Like...yeah?

[ MOST OF HIS FRIENDS ARE SPARED THE ACTUAL CANDY CANE LEVEL BULLSHIT ]

Also we cannot, I am remembering that forever.

[windeity]

I cannot believe we've been dating for, like, an hour and you're already blackmailing me. [But that's a good fact to file away, sure.] I still have half a box of candy canes left.

[parodeity]

...The magically sticky kind that were a pain in the ass? Egbert, for fuck's sake.

[windeity]

I had a plan. [Pouting.] It involved us getting stuck together and then finding a mistletoe bat and just being like "HAHA WOW, WHAT A COINCIDENCE" and then I realized that was really fucking stupid and did all of this instead.

[Which was somehow less stupid. Somehow.]

[parodeity]

...Sometimes you say things and I'm like "why the fuck are you the leader, again" deep in my soul.

[ THAT PLAN SOUNDS TERRIBLE????????????????? ]

[windeity]

[He just lightly backhands Dave's chest before he reaches and opens the car door.]

Shut up, at least I didn't go through with that plan.

[parodeity]

Okay, well, maybe you should ditch the candy canes now that you do not need them for this stupid plan? Otherwise they are 100% gonna come back to bite you in the ass somehow, dude.

[ he knows this trope!!!

this time he slides out of the car tho ]

[windeity]

I'll get rid of them soon, seriously. [And out of the car he goes and he practically bounds over to the other side and stopping in front of him.

Apparently he's fine with carrying Dave upstairs, too.] At least I have avoided the bats so far!

[parodeity]

Lucky. I’ve got caught a few times. [ but okay he won’t complain about being toted up the stairs so draping himself on john again ]

[windeity]

I got caught up in garland a lot instead. Does that count? [And up they go, carrying Dave all the way. ]

[parodeity]

It can. I think I’m supposed to prefer it or something.

[windeity]

[He smirks a little.] If you want to kiss people under the bats, I guess that’s okay. I can forgive you. [It’s easier to tease about this now that he’s a little more secure. ]