recollé ic inbox 4.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[parodeity]

[ dave wasn't even trying to make it awkward he was just trying to answer Honestly ]

Like with innuendo?? I can make some up right now if you want. [ - and now he's not sure what the point is but like HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO COME ONTO JOHN. ] I can talk more about candy canes and stuff.

[windeity]

Like with whatever, you were doing fine on your own can we just pretend I didn't say anything and leave it as "I have wanted to kiss you for a long time and I want to get out of the car so we can do that again" please?

[...although.] Fuck you and the candy canes, by the way, that was not fair and if I thought you were into it I would have kissed you in that closet.

[parodeity]

Okay, fun fact to file away for future reference: I sure as fuck do not go to that length for usual joking. So. Like...yeah?

[ MOST OF HIS FRIENDS ARE SPARED THE ACTUAL CANDY CANE LEVEL BULLSHIT ]

Also we cannot, I am remembering that forever.

[windeity]

I cannot believe we've been dating for, like, an hour and you're already blackmailing me. [But that's a good fact to file away, sure.] I still have half a box of candy canes left.

[parodeity]

...The magically sticky kind that were a pain in the ass? Egbert, for fuck's sake.

[windeity]

I had a plan. [Pouting.] It involved us getting stuck together and then finding a mistletoe bat and just being like "HAHA WOW, WHAT A COINCIDENCE" and then I realized that was really fucking stupid and did all of this instead.

[Which was somehow less stupid. Somehow.]

[parodeity]

...Sometimes you say things and I'm like "why the fuck are you the leader, again" deep in my soul.

[ THAT PLAN SOUNDS TERRIBLE????????????????? ]

[windeity]

[He just lightly backhands Dave's chest before he reaches and opens the car door.]

Shut up, at least I didn't go through with that plan.

[parodeity]

Okay, well, maybe you should ditch the candy canes now that you do not need them for this stupid plan? Otherwise they are 100% gonna come back to bite you in the ass somehow, dude.

[ he knows this trope!!!

this time he slides out of the car tho ]

[windeity]

I'll get rid of them soon, seriously. [And out of the car he goes and he practically bounds over to the other side and stopping in front of him.

Apparently he's fine with carrying Dave upstairs, too.] At least I have avoided the bats so far!

[parodeity]

Lucky. I’ve got caught a few times. [ but okay he won’t complain about being toted up the stairs so draping himself on john again ]

[windeity]

I got caught up in garland a lot instead. Does that count? [And up they go, carrying Dave all the way. ]

[parodeity]

It can. I think I’m supposed to prefer it or something.

[windeity]

[He smirks a little.] If you want to kiss people under the bats, I guess that’s okay. I can forgive you. [It’s easier to tease about this now that he’s a little more secure. ]

[parodeity]

You’re the only person I’ve kissed since like February.

[windeity]

...May for me. You’re the first person I’ve wanted to really kiss since Vic and I broke up.

[parodeity]

That said if you do have to kiss your way out of bat hell I get it. Apparently they multiply?

[windeity]

It's okay. I'll do my best to avoid that but what do you mean they multiply? They're bats.

[parodeity]

...I time travel and you control wind.

[ WHY ARE YOU SHOCKED BATS CAN MULTIPLY ]

[windeity]

Yeah. What does that have to do with this? [Things John isn't following: this.]

[parodeity]

So why does anything else ever weird you out? The universe was a frog.

[windeity]

You are really fixated on the frog thing, aren't you? [He's opening the bedroom door then now that they're up in the dorm. Mewpac is, predictably, curled up on Dave's pillow.]

[parodeity]

[ dave makes zero moves to get off john's back. ] I had to breed the damn things I'm allowed to be fixated on 'em.

[windeity]

[He's certainly not kicking him off either.]

Why was it you and Jade? Where were Rose and I?

[parodeity]

Busy. [ cool guess john is stuck with dave on his back 5ever ] Windy heroic bullshit and game breaking bullshit.