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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[parodeity]

That is how it happened, yes, although I handled everyone's bullshit at some point.

[ or so he told jade. ]

...Well, I'm not gonna blame you? You're not makin' me tell you the shit I'm not, it'd be majorly hypocritical even for me to expect otherwise.

[windeity]

I assume that has to do with time shenanigans and I will not ask further. [But he settles for a shrug instead.] I know. I do and I do not want to talk about things with people for pretty much the reason you just said. I don't like the idea of accidentally invalidating somebody else.

[parodeity]

You’re not that brand of oblivious when you can help it. I know. ...it’s not a thing you can do to me at this point on this topic, for the record.

[windeity]

But what about other people? Can they still do that to you? And even so, I know it's not something I do when I am aware of it but there are still more than enough people who are split on what to think about this place.

[parodeity]

[ ...he laughs. ]

Nah, they've systematically been destroyed. I'm left with tickin' time bombs, none of which have gone off yet.

[windeity]

[The cat cuddles into Dave's hands and John simply watches him for a moment before his gaze drops.]

...I know you're a Time player and that makes you sort of morbid like this, but you do realize that I don't really find the idea of you getting hurt by some belated blast you took from someone else particularly funny, don't you?

[parodeity]

Look, I know all about inevibilities. But I'll avoid that particular path as long as I can. For now...

[ for now? ]

You didn't name the cat, right? Should I? Are we co-parenting the cat?

[windeity]

[There's a very, very long pause.]

...we are co-parenting the cat, yes. And I did not name the cat here, but I did back on Rose's planet.

[It's not everything he's remembered, but this is the safer topic.]

[parodeity]

[ dave blinks, and slants a look at john. he doesn't ask, even though when he told john once he wanted to know what he remembered he was serious.

(what he's waiting on is any of those terrible conversations where he alluded to the truth, and what john might get from them.) ]

I'm goin' to guesstimate you named the poor thing some terribad movie reference, and am renaming her to Mewpac Macklemeow.

[windeity]

[Not now, Dave. Luckily this isn't about Bro but he needs time to really register what he's thinking. Maybe he's misremembering. Yeah. That's it. He'll tell him when he's ready at least.]

Like Mewpac Macklemeow is any less terrible than Dr. Meowgon Spengler. [He's not actually annoyed but it eases the tension and also proves that yeah, he kind of remembers this now.] You're sure it's a she?

[parodeity]

You’re in charge of checking. I think? She might be a clone of Rose’s cat? But that doesn’t mean jack shit re genders. You mix someone else for that too and get somethin’ new.

[ Why is he bothering to discuss the ectobiology ]

[windeity]

Yes I sort of figured that out based on the idea that somehow I cloned all of us out of slime. Which is pretty gross. Is the cat made out of slime, too? [He gestures to where Mewpac's rolled on her back in Dave's hands.] Also? I cannot exactly check right now since she seems to like you instead.

[parodeity]

Then she is definitely a lady, because they all fall for me. [ he's joking. but he will check the kitten over? ] Granted, obviously so do the dudes. Everyone just linin' up to kiss my feet and whatever.

[windeity]

Yes, it is understandable because you are really attractive. [A quote, not an agreement. He just raises his eyebrows playfully before he shakes his head.] ...I think she likes it though? Mewpac, I mean.

[parodeity]

Whatever, you know you love me. [ he catches the quote but responds flippantly, flipping john off and. still playing with the cat. ] So, Mewpac it is. We need to throw ourselves at Keito's feet and ask him to like, benignly overlook this. I think he may or may not have cats smuggled in his dorm? So we should be safe.

[windeity]

In your dreams, Strider. [A spin in his chair and then everything's ordered for their new cat friend. Mewpac is busy trying to climb on Dave's shoulder by now.] If throwing ourselves at his feet doesn't work, I think me giving him the heimlich earlier while he was choking on rose petals might give us some leverage.

[parodeity]

What. [ dave raises his eyebrows and lets the kitten climb onto his shoulder. he has one hand to keep her from falling, and the other to absently pet her. but apparently being a jungle gym is fine or whatever. ] I mean, I also think he likes me fine but what the fuck? What was up with the roses, anyway???

[windeity]

It's a long story. It was a robot? [He waves a hand.] Fog shit. [Mewpac perches on Dave's shoulder and bumps her head into his chin, purring up a storm.] I am not sure even he knew what was up with it. A lot of people are confused about their fog monsters.

[parodeity]

Huh. [ they...wouldn't, would they. dave blinks. ] I...have not had that problem. I know exactly what the fuck is up with all of mine. It's other people's bullshit that gets me by surprise.

[windeity]

I know what's up with mine now, but...I didn't until we fought back against them. After that it sort of clicked into place. Otherwise yeah, people are confusing me.

[parodeity]

I've had Jack memories since like...month one. So. The white one was newer, but I recognized her, too. So it was more or less "why murderdogs" and "at least it's not the clown".

[windeity]

I knew that Jade prototyped her dog but I knew nothing about Jack. It felt a little familiar but not really. [...] What clown?

[parodeity]

Just a really shady - oh, do you hate clowns yet?

[windeity]

[Just. A blank stare???????]

No, but now I know what to look forward to later which is very unfortunate. I cannot say I like clowns now as it is but this sounds like more than that.

[parodeity]

...I mean, it's not, like, hate. That's somethin' else entirely.

[ still waiting for john to despise baked goods and betty crocker, yeah. ]

But I suppose more a like, antagonistic feel on them partly due to - well, spoilers.