[ his grip is way too tight. john's still stronger; he can pull back. but dave's knuckles are white from his own grip and his lips are a thin line as he looks over at the other johns. ]
I spent too many years missing you. And - [ a shrug. ] I've lost too many people who still exist but may as well be smoke and shadow. I don't know if I'm afraid you'll leave. You never quite did that.
[ his gaze shifts, inscrutable behind his shades. ]
- but the choice might not be yours, and that terrifies me.
...I am not saying you have to accept it, because that is kind of bullshit. I should have a choice in if I'm going to stay or go. But I still think I would have a hard time not wanting to be around you even if I forgot who we are.
[...there's a lot more to say, especially given another John seems to pop up. Thirteen this time in a stupid bowler hat. The version of himself from his thirteenth birthday.]
Can you do me a favor? [He doesn't wait for a yes or a no.] I need you to wake up.
...but the only way I've been able to wake myself up has been...like last time, or completing a memory. And I only - I only have so many memories of here.
[ not...like dave did last time. and he rolls his eyes behind his shades, tugging on john's hand and letting go for a second, turning to face john and put a hand to his shoulder. ]
You wouldn't ask me to do anything terrible. Anyway - just...let's think this through. Nothin' is attacking us, we have time. Where are you right now?
[He doesn't seem to think it's weird but he's also still focused on the other things happening. Dave is in front of him. Sixteen year old memory John has a cyclone in his hand. Thirteen year old John just put on a clever disguise.
They're all technically him, but at what point are they him and what point are they better than him?]
[ he's trying to get john to ignore the other versions of himself and focus on not that. dave kind of sighs, and lean closer to take up more of john's line of sight. ]
I also bet you totally managed to fuck up your answers somehow. Wrote across them with pen while you were dozin' off. Smudged the ink. Doc Trombone is definitely judging you from across the room, silently.
Dude, shut up! [But he's trying not to laugh. One of the other Johns disappears, too.] Doc Trombone has zero room to judge, academia has changed a lot since his age. If I wake up with ink smeared all over my face how bad are you going to judge me?
[ okay, cool, that's still working. not that dave...lets go...of john's face. look. ]
Depends on what it looks like, doesn't it? And how permanent the ink is. You didn't happen to choose to write in blue permanent marker, did you? And hey, did you have the window open, or shut?
I am pretty sure my professors would kill me if I wrote in permanent marker, but I am really glad it exists again. [He pauses to think. And he's not exactly protesting Dave holding his face since it's keeping him grounded.]
Mostly closed because of that fog, but it is unlocked. Are you coming through it again?
I do not know. [ if john waking up jars him awake, perhaps? he's hazy on whether or not he's out of it enough he'll just flip to the next nightmare, unwilling. ]
Usually I just take the stairs, dude. Also, you clearly have not committed to the blue thing enough.
[ taps john's cheeks with his fingers, which is easy given yeah. ]
Not what I meant, buttercup. I mean you are not writin' in blue pen only as of yet. I...write in red pen more than I should, actually? It is a habit that is hard to re-break.
[His response is to puff his cheeks out so that Dave's fingers draw out a hollow sound. He idly thinks about the fact that Dave's called him buttercup twice now and they were both after nightmares. It's a weird thought.]
I am actually surprised you get away with it. Most places want you to use black or blue only. And I'm getting there. I can't do my math homework in pen either, dude.
[ dave proceeds to tap out the beat to this song on john's cheeks. thanks john. ]
Mostly my teachers have given up, I think. Also, I can do mine in pen? ...But admittedly I like math. Haha, shit, you fella sleep doin' math, didn't you.
And I still do, which is why you are still in my dream and I am in my pajamas and letting you play a song from the 60s on my face. [Wryly.] Having fun?
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[ his grip is way too tight. john's still stronger; he can pull back. but dave's knuckles are white from his own grip and his lips are a thin line as he looks over at the other johns. ]
I spent too many years missing you. And - [ a shrug. ] I've lost too many people who still exist but may as well be smoke and shadow. I don't know if I'm afraid you'll leave. You never quite did that.
[ his gaze shifts, inscrutable behind his shades. ]
- but the choice might not be yours, and that terrifies me.
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[...there's a lot more to say, especially given another John seems to pop up. Thirteen this time in a stupid bowler hat. The version of himself from his thirteenth birthday.]
Can you do me a favor? [He doesn't wait for a yes or a no.] I need you to wake up.
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[ calmly. although he frowns. ]
...but the only way I've been able to wake myself up has been...like last time, or completing a memory. And I only - I only have so many memories of here.
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Like last time. Where we had to. Right. [An inhale.] So it would be easier for me to wake us up is what you are saying.
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[ not...like dave did last time. and he rolls his eyes behind his shades, tugging on john's hand and letting go for a second, turning to face john and put a hand to his shoulder. ]
You wouldn't ask me to do anything terrible. Anyway - just...let's think this through. Nothin' is attacking us, we have time. Where are you right now?
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...I'm not sure. LOWAS?
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Yes, but no. Where are you right now? Tell me.
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They're all technically him, but at what point are they him and what point are they better than him?]
A memory. [Not. Quite.] A dream?
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[ he's trying to get john to ignore the other versions of himself and focus on not that. dave kind of sighs, and lean closer to take up more of john's line of sight. ]
If this is a dream, where are you right now?
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...my desk. I was reading and I think I fell asleep.
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Okay. So let's think about that. Want to bet you have a textbook imprint on your face now?
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Probably! And if I drool on my books again I am pretty sure the library won't be happy with me.
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Depends on what it looks like, doesn't it? And how permanent the ink is. You didn't happen to choose to write in blue permanent marker, did you? And hey, did you have the window open, or shut?
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Mostly closed because of that fog, but it is unlocked. Are you coming through it again?
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Usually I just take the stairs, dude. Also, you clearly have not committed to the blue thing enough.
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How have I not--[Oh.] It is seriously not my fault my eyes are still gray, Dave.
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Not what I meant, buttercup. I mean you are not writin' in blue pen only as of yet. I...write in red pen more than I should, actually? It is a habit that is hard to re-break.
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I am actually surprised you get away with it. Most places want you to use black or blue only. And I'm getting there. I can't do my math homework in pen either, dude.
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Mostly my teachers have given up, I think. Also, I can do mine in pen? ...But admittedly I like math. Haha, shit, you fella sleep doin' math, didn't you.
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It's so boring! What do they expect? No wonder you were able to take all of my money.
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I was able to take all of your money because you trusted me.
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