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[parodeity]

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[parodeity]

Oh. Then we can regroup.

[ it's fine if it's for dirk, obviously. what a fucking hypocrite ]

[splinten]

[Dave. Why are you like this. Dirk just... accepts it as a matter of course. He holds his hand out to offer it to Macklemeow? He wants to see if he can pet a kitten.]

[parodeity]

[ macklemeow, still in attack mode, will initially attack the hand? but after a second dirk can probably turn that into petting a purring mess of fur. ]

[splinten]

[He was worried that he broke Macklemeow and turned him into a FIGHTING MACHINE because clearly this is a flaw of his parenting, everything he touches learns to fight. But wait. No. No, now it's petting time.]

After this many years of friendship with Roxy, you'd think I'd have cat psychology down. It's the sort of thing I should just know by osmosis at this point. They are really confusing lil dudes, though. I have a better chance of workin' out what you're thinkin' than understandin' the mind of Macklemeow.

[parodeity]

That's just 'cause you're tryin' to psychoanalyze a cat, and their motives ain't that complex.

[ try to pet a cat immediately after playing and it might still be playful. ]

I wish I had my camera, damn.

[ THREE MORE DAYS the digital camera is unfortunately in his room at the moment. ]

[splinten]

I have seen her cats yowling for no determinable reason at a random hour of the night. I'm dubious about this.

[AH YES. THE CAMERA. Which Dirk is working on. Soon, Dave will have it. So he makes no comment.]

[parodeity]

Obviously, [ dave says with the air of a guy who is about to pull a reason out of thin air at random and defend it to the death ] it's because that's the best time for them to give movie reviews.

[splinten]

[It is exactly the quality of answer Dirk expected.] Obviously.

[parodeity]

Maybe if you rated their reviews more often they'd yowl at you less?

[splinten]

Maybe if they didn't post reviews on sites with so many pop-up ads I'd read their reviews.

[parodeity]

How else will they make a livin' if not through enforced advertisin'? Do you feel nothin' for their plight?

[splinten]

They don't need the income. They're freeloaders.

[parodeity]

Don't look down on their need for income, Dirk. How're they gonna afford all the catnip we won't buy 'em without it?

[splinten]

Subsistence farmin' is the only ethical way forward for them and they need to get on that page.

[parodeity]

Ok, but they're cats. Are ethics really their main concern here? I don't think we got a super ethical cat if so. I'mm not 100% sure you can actually teach cats ethics?

[splinten]

He is probably never gonna pick it up. Luckily, Macklemeow's fuckin' adorable.

[parodeity]

I'm also pretty sure neither of us requires anythin' we love to have ethics, so there's a bonus for him.

[splinten]

[There's a pause. Dirk is thinking about it.]

That's a reasonable point. Just as long as he doesn't end up being a clown.

[parodeity]

Luckily I don't think that's a career path cats pursue much? Although I think we'd actually be weirdly good at it. Like. Juggling shit.

[ a pause. ]

Let's forget I said that, actually.

[splinten]

[...]

Not your best word day, dude. [Dirk thinks it's. Kinda hilarious, honestly.]

[parodeity]

[ DAVE WILL DRAMATICALLY FLOP BACK DOWN ON HIS BACK. SILENTLY. IN PROTEST.

why does his mouth say words!!!! ]

[splinten]

[Dirk gently picks up Macklemeow and sets him on Dave's chest. Kitten is still purring.]

[parodeity]

[ ...

he will start to pet the purring kitten. fine! ]

So you think you'll be ok for the pet sittin'? [ he won't bring up the regrouping because that was basically a Pause or a Dave, Why ]

[splinten]

I can manage it.

[Here comes the unpause:]

When you feel ways about different things, I try to keep it in mind. That's all.

[parodeity]

That must be pretty hard when I can't articulate what I'm feelin'.