parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 2.0;

I'll bring something to lunch.

[so no]

new rule
you cant nag me about not eating in any given day for any given meal unless youve eaten something already

I'll accept that rule on the condition that it is waived if I eat with you.

if youre eating with me why would you have anything to nag me about

The nagging is me getting you out to eat.

youre making me sound like an old lady who never leaves the house
middle of the island you said right

Rose can knit you a shawl. And then teach you how to knit your own shawls.
That was the idea.

yeah but then we got distracted by bickering about nothing since were not even on opposite sides of a debate here
so like
business as usual

also that would take away from rose the ability to be in control of my knit life
i couldnt possibly do that to her

Are you gonna come, then?

You're a magnanimous brother.
On the note of her, and control. Did you talk to her? After you rested, hopefully.

i was always going to come

no
i mean not after i rested

You were?

I'm not sure if that means you haven't done it at all or if it means you did it before you rested.
So I'll toss out a 'Good luck' and a 'Hope it helped' to cover my bases on this one.

yeah
just dont nag me about sleeping

weve talked
idk if it helped
im considering things still

Okay.
Okay to both.

Does that mean nagging about food is generally okay?

[say it like 10 times and maybe dirk'll get it]

ive never told you to stop that
at least not in a really serious way
sometimes i dont feel like eating or like i should be eating
but i know that logistically speaking it would be better if i did
so it is what it is

I don't disagree with that, I guess.
But forcing you to do things that would logistically eating wiser isn't something that I want to do.
I don't want to try to control your life like that.
I know I can get pushy about it, and also everything, because apparently I'm that kind of asshole,
So it is something I wanted to check in on. Especially right now.

im not great at holding myself accountable for eating
like you dont have to
its not your responsibility to hold me accountable for that or anything else either
so you dont have to like
worry about it
we can make it a rule you dont if thats easier
actually that would probably be better
sorry

No, I want to.
If that's okay with you?
If it's something you want then I'd like to do that. You know what I said about worrying and that.
If it's being controlling then my desire to look after you comes secondary to my desire for you to not be micromanaged by me.
But if it isn't controlling, I'd like to?

you said you feel like its controlling though
i dont want you to do anything youre uncomfortable with doing?
and like
i guess it probably is
i never thought about it

Dave, I feel like everything I do is controlling.
I'm perpetually terrified of becoming something like,
Not him, but,
It's a worse version of me.
But the way to avoid doing that isn't to run away from everything that might vaguely have some element of control to it.
I don't want to throw out the robot with the decontamination tank.
Babies?
Why would you put a baby in a decontamination tank?
Whatever.
What I'm saying is that forcing people to do things they don't want to against their will because I think it's best for them is a terrible thing that I don't want to do.
But if someone has a hard time with something, and they actually are okay with me being pushy about it, such that me being pushy is good for both of us,
Then maybe being pushy like that in that case isn't a bad thing,
And maybe I need to learn the difference between being controlling because I think I know best, and helping someone I love do things by being myself.
Maybe learning how to be myself in a productive way, operating with respect to people's boundaries, is good,
Instead of just trying to crush every trait in me that has the slightest possibility of making me vaguely resemble a worse version of me.

Not sure how much sense any of that made.

hm
ok can we talk about this tomorrow
im not trying to dodge the conversation or making it
this isnt an ultimatum thing but
can i think about the food thing for a bit on a chronological timeline and get back to you
i cant explain it right now but if you give me a bit maybe i can explain it and then
you can decide if its an ok amount of
whatever it is
i dont like
specifically mind you being pushy in this instance but
ill try to explain why
and then we can decide if thats for a bad reason or a good reason

does that sound stupid
that sounds stupid
nvm

We both always sound stupid.
We sound even more stupid when we're talking with one another. See: this entire conversation.

So, yeah. Let's talk about this tomorrow. Working things out over time is probably not a bad idea.

ok then i guess hit me up then sometime whenever you feel like having a likely terrible experience
given our track record for awkwardly doing
you know

in the meantime i guess we agreed to lunch sans
discussing certain truths?

I'll send you a line some time tomorrow.

[also every day, until Dave starts sending him inane texts, probably]

I can do that. The applesauce is ready.

k see you when you get here then

[ and he already secured a no nagging about rest thing so. the fact the most sleep he has had all month was you know the time dirk was around is clearly off limits ]

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