parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 2.0;

I hope you don't mind, but I've been using my Seer powers to look into something somewhat atypical. You.
I think you should see if Dirk would be interested in moving in with you.
My visions indicate this may be the most fortunate path.

what
why have you been looking into me
im fine rose
also we like
closed that topic and havent revisited it yet in the unilateral decision section
im not sure broaching it rn would be wise
and like
are you bullshitting me or being serious here about fortune actually

Because I'm your loving sister, or something equally lame.
Hm.
I'll check to see when it is best to broach it, if you want.
I have never been more serious in my life, Dave.

what brought this on for serious
did i do something to worry you
i mean
more than usual
uh
you can check?
dirk kinda didnt respond when i talked about revisiting those decisions though so
i think maybe its best like
put off

Perhaps not much more than usual, but.
Given recent developments, I felt it was something to look into it. I don't plan on making a habit of it, of course. I was a bit tired of solely looking into the fortunes of alien creatures we find, I suppose.
I checked.
I think it's a safe topic to bring up as soon as you like. Or don't like.

rose i dont care if you look at my future
i mean sure its intrusive but no more than your oaychoanalyzing me is
and
ill keep that in mind but
its just
i don't know how to feel about the fact that im as selfish as bro ever was
you know
and there are people who might get hurt which
i know the path of most fortune never really cares but
i do
even if im used to sacrificing a better timeline for a worse one?
does any of that make sense

Not to hyper-focus and ignore your questions, but you think you're as selfish as your Bro?

in some ways yeah
i dont know if i really want to get into it now but
it was a selfish request i didnt want to make
asking dirk to live with me
at least partly because like
doesnt it just feel really
controlling
or possessive or something
to drag him away from a bunch of other people
even if its just like
for overnights
i dont even know how mom would take it

Have you ever considered Dirk might want to live with you?
It's not exactly controlling to merely ask someone. If you insisted he moved in with you or guilted him into, yes, that'd be controlling.
But just asking or broaching the idea is not controlling inofitself. Really, he has the power to say yes or no, so the control would be more in his hands.
And Dirk is a rather solitary person, in case you haven't noticed. I'm not certain communal living is his favorite thing in the world.
As for Roxy, I'm sure she'd understand. I know she's been hard on herself lately, but I'll still be here and she has other friends besides Dirk if that's the issue.

i mean
does he have that power though
he doesnt usually say no to me
and i never said no to bro
and that worries me sometimes
or all the time
i dont know
dont i have a responsibility to not do that

Those are two very different situations, Dave.
Bro was an authority figure whom you hero worshiped, who took advantage of that.
Whereas you're just Dirk's brother. He can say no without repercussions, and I'm certain he's aware of that. Whether he likes to say no to you or not isn't really your responsibility, it's his. The balance of power and actual relationship is entirely different.
Your only responsibility is to not take advantage of his love for you by, say, guilting him into creating a giant killer shark to murder the entire base, or something. And if you were to ask that, he is still fully capable of saying no. That's an outlandish example, but I think you get my meaning.

is he aware of it though
sometimes when i say no to him i worry itll make him hate me
what if he has the same fear you know
he shouldnt
but he might

im not sure he WOULD say no to making me a murdershark btw

Then casually mention that it's all right for him to say no.
Well, that's
Stupid, really?
It wouldn't surprise me if he did worry about it, but obviously it's not a real worry. I think your relationship is stronger than the word "no".

Probably because he trusts you. That's not a bad thing.

maybe
but also maybe he shouldnt trust me
i dont always trust myself
and i dont trust
everyone i should trust right now
i kinda flipped out at dirk
about certain things
and were on not the most stable ground on the trust factor rn

You do ave trust issues, yes. That's always been evident.
But how deep do such issues run? Do you trust in a fight that Dirk would save your life if necessary? Do you trust that you'd do the same?
Even if the ground has become rocky, earthquakes don't last forever.

trusting someone to have your back in a fight is
different
how did he put it
not trusting him with my soul
i dont know to what extent thats true
its true that
these days
a lot of the time i wonder when the things i tell him will be things that like
someday he feels obligated to tell other people
some of whom i dont trust
or some of whom i dont want to know certain things
and it still makes it hard to like
say things
ironically the shit i can trust him with the most is probably the bro shit
i think that he wouldnt share without express permission
its everything else thats harder

Hm. That makes sense.
I think that's a valid concern to have with anyone.
I can't say for sure whether he would or not, since he does have a bit of a people pleaser streak in him-- a sort of desperation to please those he loves. But I think if you discuss it with him, perhaps you can define the boundaries of trust when it comes to telling him things.
Which things he can share, and which things he should not.
It's a fair boundary to set, if a difficult one for some to comprehend. Some people are simply more open than others. Not Dirk, in specific, since obviously he can be a very private person, but. In general.

i dont worry about it with you
you dont tell anyone anything unless you think it will help the person who told you something to start with
generally
which is sometimes super fucking annoying
but which has always made you easy to trust
you dont tell kanaya or anyone else what i tell you unless i remind you or youre meddling for my sake or whatever
i think you and dirk are similar in a lot of ways
and he told me to hold him to higher standards
so i picked you
because youre the highest standard there is lalonde
like
gold stars out the wazoo a pedestal on top of a pillar a million miles high
i dont have to think about whether or not i trust you ever
i just do
full stop without any questions asked
sometimes i dont agree with you and sometimes you make me angry but i never disbelieve that youre on my side
no matter what
and it was maybe not fair of me to hold him to that standard
because dirk is on other peoples sides too
and so are you but like
well
youre a cagey asshole
and i love you for it

I would argue that if I'm your highest standard, there's your problem, but I'm too filled with gross sappy sibling feelings.
I'm glad you appreciate my cagey assholery.
Love you too.

i was going to say i didnt say i loved you but
i definitely did
le sigh

did you meddle

You did, textually.
"Le sigh"? The sigh? Does the sigh really need a the, in French no less?

Why do you ask?

because he texted me
ill talk to you in a bit i have to go meet up with him

thanks

I have no idea what you're thanking me for.
You're welcome.

for meddling
asshole

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grimdeity - 2017-01-16 06:00 (UTC) - Expand

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