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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[parodeity]

Now who can't say it? [ he's pleased he's not the only flustered one. ] That's what I want then.

[windeity]

[SHUT UP DAVE. But yeah, that's....fair.]

...for your birthday? [Curious.]

[parodeity]

[ no he won't shut up ] Yeah. [ that's not Right Now by its soonish. ] Is that weird?

[windeity]

No, not really. [It's true, actually, and he thinks to himself. The prospect is actually sort of terrifying just while he's thinking logistics, but it's always better when he doesn't. Do. That.]

...we've been together for almost a year. And I obviously love and trust you more than anyone else in the world so if I was going to do that with anybody it'd be you in the first place. I mean I don't. [Ugh.] ...you know I've slept with Vic and that all made sense. I don't really know...see it sounds really fucking dumb if I say "I don't really know how anal works" since it seems pretty straight forward but like.

[Fumbling. He's just trying to figure out how to say "I don't know how to know if it'll be good for you when I'm clueless."]

[parodeity]

Okay, if I wanted to give you a hard time I'd point out you just said having sex with a girl made sense while accidentally implying guys don't, [ so he kind of wants to give john a hard time ] but like...did it really, your first time?

[ it's not the sort of thing anyone figured out immediately and flawlessly, dave thinks. ]

[windeity]

Shut up. [:(! But he actually takes more than five seconds to think about it.]

...okay, so maybe it didn't make a whole lot of sense the first time either. Actually the first time was kind of a disaster? Like. Stupidly so. It eventually got better though.

[parodeity]

[ dave pulls a face, either to mock john or because he's not interested in hearing about sex with other people getting better while trying to ask his boyfriend to sleep with him. probably leaning to the latter, but he doesn't comment. instead he says. ]

You're overthinking it.

[windeity]

[Things John probably should have actually finished saying: "it got better, so that would mean sex with you would also get better if I fuck it up."

John's great at this.]

I am, yeah. [He can at least admit that.] I promise I will stop overthinking it. Really. [At least by the time it gets to Dave's birthday. He has time.]

[parodeity]

...now I'm overthinking it. [ which he can at least admit. dave shakes his head. it's not really worth wondering about. ] I'm not sure how much more I can eat?

[windeity]

Hey. [He's going to snatch one of Dave's hands.] First of all, I'll save it for later, second of all if I am not allowed to overthink neither are you? And I don't know if I need to specify but just in case this has nothing to do with not wanting to sleep with you in particular. You're the only person I want in that specific way.

[parodeity]

No, I...know that. But does it have a little to do with me bein' a dude? [ it's not even what he was wondering but it's what he says, lacing their fingers together. ]

[windeity]

[Ah. He lets their fingers tangle together and he's quiet for a moment. Immediate denial would just raise suspicions, he thinks.]

Only in the logistics sense, not the emotional sense. If that makes sense.

[parodeity]

Sort of. [ at least it's an old sort of thought: it would maybe be easier if dave weren't a guy, but he is, so whatever. ] Are you done eating?

[windeity]

That doesn't really matter right now. [Sigh.] Telling me that every single first time with anyone who ever slept with anyone ends up being disastrous is fine and everything but that is not going to stop me from freaking out about how to make it as good for you as possible when we get that far. Does that clarify things?

[parodeity]

John, I don't care about as good as possible. I just want to be with you. If we mess up, we mess up. Getting everything perfect ain't what it's about.

[windeity]

I know you don't, but I do. [He's chewing his lip a bit.] I want to be with you but I also very strongly believe in the fact that you deserve a lot more than I can give you sometimes. So I want to try and compensate where I can.

[parodeity]

Well...the only way to learn is to try? And read up, I guess. Or watch a lot of porn but I'd say that would probably be minimally helpful.

[ he has no idea how to respond to deserving things so instead he will say this ]

[windeity]

Gay porn's way over-exaggerated. [Apparently he's done his own research.] ...promise you won't be totally turned off forever if I fuck this up?

[parodeity]

You've been watching gay porn without me? [ no hold on we have to pause to tease john ]

[windeity]

Oh my god shut up. [He pushes at Dave's face.] Also maybe. But shut up anyway.

[parodeity]

[ dave maturely licks john's hand. ] Because I would have watched it with you? Although it is apparently not your kinda porn.

[windeity]

It's intimidating, Dave. Like. Incredibly.

[...has he been freaking out this whole time that he can't fuck like a porn star? Yes, maybe. God help everyone.]

[parodeity]

...like, which part? I figured putting your dick in a hole would be like, kosher. [ since he figured springing "i'd also like to fuck you at some point" at the same time would freak john "i was straight until last year" egbert our maybe a little too much. ] I'm pretty sure their muscles are more fake than yours.

[ dave is.......heavily biased ]

[windeity]

[...he just sort of laughs, so thanks Dave.]

Maybe they are. [God. He's using his free hand to rub at his face.] ...it is, by the way. Kosher. But I also like seeing your face.

[No one ever said the variety of porn John watched was any good.]

[parodeity]

[ a baffled pause. ] Thanks? I mean...you can see my face when we have sex?