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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[parodeity]

John, I don't care about as good as possible. I just want to be with you. If we mess up, we mess up. Getting everything perfect ain't what it's about.

[windeity]

I know you don't, but I do. [He's chewing his lip a bit.] I want to be with you but I also very strongly believe in the fact that you deserve a lot more than I can give you sometimes. So I want to try and compensate where I can.

[parodeity]

Well...the only way to learn is to try? And read up, I guess. Or watch a lot of porn but I'd say that would probably be minimally helpful.

[ he has no idea how to respond to deserving things so instead he will say this ]

[windeity]

Gay porn's way over-exaggerated. [Apparently he's done his own research.] ...promise you won't be totally turned off forever if I fuck this up?

[parodeity]

You've been watching gay porn without me? [ no hold on we have to pause to tease john ]

[windeity]

Oh my god shut up. [He pushes at Dave's face.] Also maybe. But shut up anyway.

[parodeity]

[ dave maturely licks john's hand. ] Because I would have watched it with you? Although it is apparently not your kinda porn.

[windeity]

It's intimidating, Dave. Like. Incredibly.

[...has he been freaking out this whole time that he can't fuck like a porn star? Yes, maybe. God help everyone.]

[parodeity]

...like, which part? I figured putting your dick in a hole would be like, kosher. [ since he figured springing "i'd also like to fuck you at some point" at the same time would freak john "i was straight until last year" egbert our maybe a little too much. ] I'm pretty sure their muscles are more fake than yours.

[ dave is.......heavily biased ]

[windeity]

[...he just sort of laughs, so thanks Dave.]

Maybe they are. [God. He's using his free hand to rub at his face.] ...it is, by the way. Kosher. But I also like seeing your face.

[No one ever said the variety of porn John watched was any good.]

[parodeity]

[ a baffled pause. ] Thanks? I mean...you can see my face when we have sex?

[windeity]

[What if. He just blushes.] Can we pretend I never said any of this and just agree we're having sex on your birthday?

[parodeity]

Do you want to for sure? [ a pause. ] John, no matter what, you ain't really gonna turn me off forever. Not knowing what you're doing doesn't matter. Just don't do something dumb while we're doin' shit like that more along the lines of like, talking about sex with other people. Or, hang on, what else would be dumb...uh, no, that's the big one.

[windeity]

I'm sorry I brought it up in the first place, but yes I want to for sure. Okay? I mean it.

[parodeity]

Okay, then assuming we don't both chicken out, yeah, that's a plan. [ ...he throws another sandwich piece at john mostly just bc he wants to ]

[windeity]

[He catches that with his mouth too.]

I don't think we will. We've managed everything else so far, haven't we?

[parodeity]

[ dave throws a third one just to see if john can keep up his catch streak tbh. ]

Sometimes with a lot of stumbling along the way, but yeah. [ ... ] Look, Eggs, like...if I wanted to date a porn star, I'd date a porn star. I want to be with you though. Terrible movie tastes and ridiculous fondness for the outdoors and absolutely irritating pranking tendencies and all.

[windeity]

[He does. He's a good trained seal apparently.]

...I love you. More than I can comprehend some days. And...I'm sorry sometimes I get weird and insecure about stuff. That's all. [But that makes him feel better, thanks Dave.]

[parodeity]

I'm sorry I get weird and insecure about stuff, too. [ he knows that's what he got a little there about, like, "and girls make sense????" and such. ] I love you, too. More than anything.

[ TOSSES ANOTHER SLICE, this time higher. skill check? ]

[windeity]

[He immediately flies up to catch the sandwich!!

And also bonk his head on the ceiling but whatever.] Ow.

[Floating back down, he rubs the back of his head before fixing Dave with a soft look.]

...I think we're always going to be weird and insecure about stuff. So we just have to work together to ignore them because they're things that do not matter to the other person. Agreed?

[parodeity]

Agreed. [ dave flashes a grin - and okay, he laughed when john hit his head, sorry - but then he does kind of. lean in to kiss him. hi john. it's soft and chaste and short, but. ]

You matter to me.

[windeity]

[Short soft kisses are still good kisses, and he meets Dave for that one.] And you matter to me. We're getting better at this communication thing at least.

[parodeity]

You mean in that we stumble through it haphazardly but still try?

[windeity]

Better to try than both of us just saying never mind and ignoring it. I would call that progress.

[parodeity]

I'm really gonna have to go all out next month for our anniversary, huh?