Coincidentally I feel the same. [There's another grin.] Sometimes I think I have never liked anyone quite so much. It's strange, isn't it? In a good way.
[ he remembers a conversation about maybe being in love but probably not and the way he has felt and remembers feeling for other people. dave would destroy everything he was for rose, and he would miss john every day they were apart. those are facts, at least, easy to hold onto.
rose is his counterpoint and counterpart and the dark to his light and light to his dark. he doesn’t know how to be himself without other people sometimes. ]
It's the other Carly Rae Jepsen song I haven't made you listen to. [Whatever that means, and he hums along with the song playing as they dance.] I thought about it and thought maybe it was overkill but I really like you. A lot. Even if sometimes I am not great at saying so.
[ but he means it the way he always meant it, it’s just. now an awkward sentiment. ]
But it’s a little awkward to say when it’s to someone you’re dating and you don’t mean it the way it’s normally meant in that context? But I almost got used to saying it.
[He gives him another contemplative look because he sort of thought that's what Dave was referencing but didn't want to believe it.]
...love is kind of a broad term, I think. And I think even if it's not used in the way it's normally meant yet, I still love you. That part's true. Is it still true for you?
No, John, you completely stopped being one of the fundamentally important people in my life the second you kissed me. I lost any and all appreciation for you as a person at that point in time, and absolutely none of the bullshit that resonates before does anymore. Like your laugh and dumbass sense of humor and how you genuinely care about people even if you’re an oblivious asshole sometimes, and your inexplicable love for winter, and how you always come back.
[ that was obviously sarcasm ]
Of course I still love you. You’re my best friend.
Then don't worry about the complications or anything about it. What it's supposed to normally mean when people are dating and stuff. [He leans forward to kiss his forehead then.] I love you either way and I don't think it's something we have to stop saying when it's still true.
I know. It's okay. I'm not going to say you don't have to worry because I know you and you will anyway, but all I can do is try to make things easier. [He squeezes Dave's hand.] You trust me still?
[He won't press at least, but he has a lot of questions.]
Okay. Everything else we can work on together, but I don't want you to forget that part. [The song ends and thus the playlist ends with John bringing them to a slow halt, swaying in the center of the room to an invisible song.] Promise?
I promise. [ but also: ] Before we get caught up in weird asides, can I point out that I do think you're amazing? What the fuck is all of this. [ it's a dumb little ballroom and he smiles again. ] I really do love it.
[There's something like relief in his expression.] I just wanted to do something I knew you'd enjoy until the real thing can happen someday. [A real ballroom, he means.] You deserve it, dude. Trust me.
You don't really have to go very far to get me to enjoy spending time with you. [ but. he drops john's hand and shifts his other off of john's shoulder and this time when he kisses john it lasts half a minute instead of seconds. ]
I know, but call this a special occasion. I wanted to make up for not doing this before. [But he's immediately moving in for the kiss and he lingers as long as he can.]
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- I like you way too much.
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rose is his counterpoint and counterpart and the dark to his light and light to his dark. he doesn’t know how to be himself without other people sometimes. ]
...I like you, too.
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[ but he means it the way he always meant it, it’s just. now an awkward sentiment. ]
But it’s a little awkward to say when it’s to someone you’re dating and you don’t mean it the way it’s normally meant in that context? But I almost got used to saying it.
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...love is kind of a broad term, I think. And I think even if it's not used in the way it's normally meant yet, I still love you. That part's true. Is it still true for you?
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[ that was obviously sarcasm ]
Of course I still love you. You’re my best friend.
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[ those aren’t the things he’s worried about, so it isn’t a lie ]
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Okay. Everything else we can work on together, but I don't want you to forget that part. [The song ends and thus the playlist ends with John bringing them to a slow halt, swaying in the center of the room to an invisible song.] Promise?
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It was fun.
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