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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[windeity]

[A headtilt.] Of course not. It's still something I really want. I guess I did not think about a piano in that picture. That's all.

[parodeity]

Why not? I play, too, you know. [ not that he would really take up much time on a hypothetical piano. but. ] Someone I knew used to have a savings fund for a trip to another country.

[windeity]

I know you do. [But he leaves that thread behind.] What does that have to do with the piano?

[parodeity]

Pianos are expensive. [ he's saying it slowly, like he's speaking to a child...john, speed the fuck up? ] So, why not just save up for one together?

[ it's not like dave has any fucking plan with what to do with any of the funds he gets from his jobs. ]

You keep tellin' me you plan to stick around to some hazy someday, so what's the problem?

[windeity]

[Fuck off, metatext, he's having a hard time. Still, he stops skating at that point, hand tugging Dave back gently as he settles for just giving him another one of those weird looks that can't quite be deciphered.

Eventually though he speaks up.]

I plan to stick around as long as you want me to, yes. Whenever that may be. So...I guess there is no problem with that?

[parodeity]

[ dave tips the camera to the side. it's not like this uncovers his face that much more - the shades are still on - but it's some kind of gesture, maybe. no one ever likes to be talked to through a lens, in his experience.

well. emil hadn't minded much, or mafuyu. ]

You say "whenever", but it's not like I have a history of wanting people not to stick around? The goal was always "go somewhere with everyone else", you know.

[windeity]

[A shrug.]

If you wanted to go somewhere else, we could. I still have no idea what I am really doing with my life but I like a lot of the things I have now. I would like to keep those.

[parodeity]

I don't care where I am. [ well. ] Admittedly I like warmer climates, but like. It's never been about where I end up so much as who with. You and the girls have always been the endgame. I...forgot for a while, I guess. But I'm me.

[ it's a confused way of saying his goals are what they were back then because he. thinks of that life first, these days. ]

[windeity]

[And it's for reasons like that that John knows he's making the right decision to keep his mouth shut. It's not...attraction, or anything like it. It's an intense sort of affection, something bred from being best friends over several timelines and lifetimes and Dave's always put everything in reference to the four of them and when he takes a moment to think about it, John knows that's correct.

That was the goal back then. That was the point of the new universe. The four of them being together.

This, whatever it is, would throw off that dynamic and it's not something he can afford. Being affectionate with your best friends is perfectly normal. It's comforting. In a weird way, hearing him say that actually makes his chest ache a little but he ignores it because at the same time it feels right.

The four of them were the endgame. It's why he went back in time to fix everything. It's why he did everything that he could to be with them.

Somewhere in all of that his grip on Dave's hand grows a little tighter.]

You are my favorite version of you. [He remembers a few versions of Dave, but this one at least has the same experiences and ideas and a lot of the same memories.] Maybe we are supposed to travel again, go to where Jade is. Maybe that is what we are missing. But I think we can still get there someday.

[parodeity]

[ dave's tiny smile flickers away like it was never there and he stares, uncertain, wanting to argue about a simple statement like he always does. he's supposed to be trying, or something, but it's still impossible to believe and difficult to swallow that he could be anyone's favorite version of himself when they've known others.

or even when they haven't.

it'd be bullshit to say for now or you've always been one of my favorite people, but i'm not sure you knew it then or know it now or a million other things, so dave doesn't say those and tries to find a balance in how he answers. ]

I'll try to believe you on that. [ it's what he can do now. ] ...And wherever the fuck you want to go, I'll follow. So...

[ hm. ]

Even if some of your list is stupid and implausible, I guess just go for it? As long as you're happy I don't really care about the details.

[ he readjusts the camera and simply avoids talking about anything by changing topics. ]

Favorite book?

[windeity]

[Given he was looking at Dave, it's not hard to notice it slip away but he doesn't know how to address it. Dave's confirmation that he'll at least try is something he can live with. It's not the perfect answer, but so what? It's something they can work on together.]

...I do, but okay. [Care about details. John's happiness isn't the only thing that matters and it's, again, why he keeps some things to himself even as he begins to skate again, weaving through a few other skaters and the snow while Dave films.]

Anything by Neil Gaiman. I have not read everything he's ever written or anything, but most of the stuff he's had a part in I've liked a lot. [John read stuff over the summer.] And it's...Jurassic Park for you. And fantasy stuff that isn't modern.

[parodeity]

[ and john caring is why dave will never tell him the things that would legitimately make him happy with any reliability. it's a fun circle to go around in. ]

You remembered. But yeah. I was absolutely one of those kids who thought dinosaurs were basically the best thing.

[windeity]

[So what I'm hearing is we're going to enter 2018 with them still probably being dumb. That's fair. Still, John nods and looks a little surprised at that.]

Believe it or not, I remember pretty much most of what you actually say, idiot. And anyway you say that like you do not think dinosaurs are still the best thing ever and I am calling bullshit on that because there is a bunch of dead stuff living in our room.

[parodeity]

[ JOHN'S STRAIGHT!!! ]

Not one of which is a fake dinosaur fossil, rad though that would be. And no, I like other shit better sometimes. It's all variable. What did you think was cool as a kid? Magic tricks still?

[windeity]

[OUT OF THE TWO OF THEM I AM PRETTY SURE DAVE IS THE ONLY ONE TO THINK THAT.

Also, note to self, get Dave a dinosaur fossil. He can't help but laugh at the suggestion because...]

Yeah. Looking back, a lot of how I grew up in this life is similar to how things were back there. I still liked magic. I still liked the paranormal. And obviously movies and music. And the ocean and everything that lives in it. Stuff like that.

[parodeity]

[ YEAH, HE DOES THINK THAT, SO FUCK YOU JOHN?? ]

Don't trust the ocean, are you insane? I - [ grew up different, he knows. similar interests but different, less fractured, and sometimes he misses that kid. ] - got into things differently but I still liked most of the same crap I guess. Dance was new?

[ he wouldn't have thought it was chill back then. ]

I think before that kind of shit never occurred to me because it wasn't, like, "manly" or whatever. Hard to give much a fuck about that kinda thing when you've got two sisters and they both like to dress you up.

[windeity]

[Okay but consider: Dave giving an implication he wouldn't flip out if John told him he wasn't as straight as Dave thought.]

What's wrong with trusting the ocean? I already told you I want to try scuba diving someday. But yeah, dance seemed new. It seems to make sense though. It's time and music combined, dude. [At this point they're just lazily skating around.] I kind of think being manly might be overrated anyway, considering I spent a lot of hours baking with my grandmother. And also Anya conned me into a manicure. [A shrug.] What does that even mean? Manly.

[parodeity]

[ ok look if john wants to date guys he can??? dave would still assume it was for guys like...who weren't dave strider, but there u go ]

Okay, clearly you have never watched any deep ocean documentaries. We're marathoning some tonight so you realize how stupid you have been to trust the ocean. [ dave...no one wants that ]

And I don't know what it means. I've always fuckin' sucked at living up to the expectation of pretty much anything. But I think I got masculinity confused with something else.

[windeity]

Fine, I guess that is our plan tonight. We can probably find some to stream and it will be totally okay because the ocean is not that bad. [RIP John.]

Do you mean in general, or a specific something else?

[parodeity]

Specific. [ competence, worth, heroism. ] Anyway, I do not know if that matters.

[windeity]

I think the only part that matters anymore is if you are living up to your own expectations and not anybody else's.

[parodeity]

[ lmao lmao lmao lmao x 1000000000000 ]

Are you?

[windeity]

Dave. [Don't???]

[parodeity]

Seriously, though. Are you?

[windeity]

Absolutely not. But that is because my expectations keep changing.