I have been told I am quite philosophical for a restaurant shop owner. But I don't know if I am making it clear cut, or if it merely sounds like it.
Indeed, no one knows what they are taking from other people without the person knowing. Not really. It is only after an individual realizes how small they've become do they realize how much they've given up of themselves. It's not always something immediately recognized. It's sometimes not even something realized until someone else notices.
i think you are making it clear cut like if someone doesnt do x y z they are automatically losing something i dont think thats really true for everyone i understand its what you think is true for everyone im just not sure i full on agree? i dont know if all of that makes someone small or if its always a bad thing which is how youre making things out to be that you always lose something if you dont always stand every inch of ground
its not a point of view that allows for many shades of gray
I'm a very rigid person that sounds fluid. But that's dismissing your point of view, isn't it? I have no intention of doing that, however.
I fear that you misunderstand me a little, and that is my fault, too. I've made my statements too broad or too narrow. It's hard to tell on my part, but allow me to rephrase.
I'm not saying you have to stand every inch of ground. Yielding to the opinion and thoughts of others, doesn't make a person smaller. I am saying, however, that yielding YOURSELF to another person makes one small. Your life is your own life. Everyone's life is their own life. People will say that means they can live it however they want, and it is true. However, I don't think it is a good idea to live one's life selflessly. To, in vague terms, always think of what they can do for someone else. To where that becomes the go-to thought in all things.
One's life should not be made to fill another person's life. One's life is far too precious to be made into the shadow of someone else. One's life is far more precious than even thousand other lives. But such selfishness is drained out of the selfless. And they no longer see their worth or meaning outside of others. I find that to be wrong.
Perhaps, you are right. One that uses others as they see fit. Just as they are using the "selfish" subconsciously, accidentally, with clumsy intentions. But due to that selfishness, it will end up creating a wound.
Perhaps, but the imbalance is never so shifted to another. An 80%-20% friendship, no matter how good both people are, is still one that will leave scars. Invisible ones, yes, but scars all the same.
Hm. Let's say you were the 20% in that friendship. Unthinkable, but let's say it. While I say it is unthinkable, can you imagine how it would be? If not, I can help.
Back what you need, hm. I don't think you have been the 20%, Dave. I think what you experienced may be the most balanced that you could have been.
You see, the "chill" state of the 20% is that you get back what you need and want and don't want. Say, you were hungry, you want to buy food for yourself but only able to buy a small snack from the vending machine. This is fine to you. But your friend instead takes you to a restaurant and pays for the entire meal. That is the 20% existence.
ok i think youve misunderstood me maybe but lots of people do but also im no longer clear on which percent does fucking what
but yes while i dont think im going to get into it ive been in the percent that gave more than i got i just dont want a lot in return so what does it fucking matter what my overall point i dont think that there are all these wounds that you keep talking about or dont have to be and i think youre generalizing about a thing that varies from person to person ie how we interact with one another and what we feel about it and how we feel
No need to get cagey. We are merely having a discussion. But I disagree about generalization. It is easy to say that and dismiss what is said. So I will add... Simply, if a person is truly happy being the 20%, they are not a good person. Kind, yes, but not good.
i dont think were having a discussion really at this point and i would hazard a suggestion youre kind of dismissing me a lot more than you think you are but ok by all means go on
I disagree with you. I don't dismiss you. You are clever and smart and living as you best see fit. You have kindness about you but defensive where that kindness stems from. I certainly cannot tell where it is but I think you are doing as well as you can right now.
I will continue, if you will allow me. Because while you say go on, I feel it more of a response spit out rather than actually wanting me to keep going.
you may as well at this point but its kind of dismissive when you repeatedly word it as though theres no other option than your opinion i dont think your opinion is always wrong but i know it isnt always right either whereas you keep stating that everything i think is wrong always and then go in about how it has to hurt people because x y z without seeming to consider that not everyone is hurt by the same things or considers the same things important
so
dont patronize me and maybe talk to me like my ideas are valid also and not just something im doing "as well as i can right now" the implication being i could do better if i agreed with you
I apologize. That is merely how I talk. I will do some self reflection in trying to find a better way to word my thoughts. It would not do well to have people feel as though I am dismissing them.
You are taking that implication. I don't believe I have said it. Furthermore, I am also doing as well as I can right now. I never thought of it as an insult since it is what I use when I talk about myself, but I suppose one can take it as one. Does that wording sound rude? It is not meant to be. I am merely thoughtful over it.
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But I don't know if I am making it clear cut, or if it merely sounds like it.
Indeed, no one knows what they are taking from other people without the person knowing.
Not really.
It is only after an individual realizes how small they've become do they realize how much they've given up of themselves.
It's not always something immediately recognized.
It's sometimes not even something realized until someone else notices.
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like if someone doesnt do x y z
they are automatically losing something
i dont think thats really true for everyone
i understand its what you think is true for everyone
im just not sure i full on agree?
i dont know if all of that makes someone small
or if its always a bad thing
which is how youre making things out to be
that you always lose something
if you dont always stand every inch of ground
its not a point of view that allows for many shades of gray
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But that's dismissing your point of view, isn't it?
I have no intention of doing that, however.
I fear that you misunderstand me a little, and that is my fault, too.
I've made my statements too broad or too narrow.
It's hard to tell on my part, but allow me to rephrase.
I'm not saying you have to stand every inch of ground.
Yielding to the opinion and thoughts of others, doesn't make a person smaller.
I am saying, however, that yielding YOURSELF to another person makes one small.
Your life is your own life.
Everyone's life is their own life.
People will say that means they can live it however they want, and it is true.
However, I don't think it is a good idea to live one's life selflessly.
To, in vague terms, always think of what they can do for someone else.
To where that becomes the go-to thought in all things.
One's life should not be made to fill another person's life.
One's life is far too precious to be made into the shadow of someone else.
One's life is far more precious than even thousand other lives.
But such selfishness is drained out of the selfless.
And they no longer see their worth or meaning outside of others.
I find that to be wrong.
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to give parts of yourself over to other people
sometimes it is a selfish act
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One that uses others as they see fit.
Just as they are using the "selfish" subconsciously, accidentally, with clumsy intentions.
But due to that selfishness, it will end up creating a wound.
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by which i mean
civil disagreements are a nice change of pace
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But my opinion is no matter how kind both parties are, a wound will form due to the imbalance.
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An 80%-20% friendship, no matter how good both people are, is still one that will leave scars.
Invisible ones, yes, but scars all the same.
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Let's say you were the 20% in that friendship.
Unthinkable, but let's say it.
While I say it is unthinkable, can you imagine how it would be?
If not, I can help.
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you can spin the facts as you see them as much as you like
but im pretty sure were just philosophically opposed on this matter
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That said, can you imagine it or not?
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but yeah
easily
ive been the 20% its chill
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Why is it "chill?"
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you get back what you need
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I don't think you have been the 20%, Dave.
I think what you experienced may be the most balanced that you could have been.
You see, the "chill" state of the 20% is that you get back what you need and want and don't want. Say, you were hungry, you want to buy food for yourself but only able to buy a small snack from the vending machine. This is fine to you. But your friend instead takes you to a restaurant and pays for the entire meal.
That is the 20% existence.
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but also
im no longer clear on which percent does fucking what
but yes while i dont think im going to get into it
ive been in the percent that gave more than i got
i just dont want a lot in return so what does it fucking matter
what my overall point
i dont think that there are all these wounds that you keep talking about
or dont have to be
and i think youre generalizing about a thing that varies from person to person
ie how we interact with one another and what we feel about it and how we feel
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We are merely having a discussion.
But I disagree about generalization.
It is easy to say that and dismiss what is said.
So I will add... Simply, if a person is truly happy being the 20%, they are not a good person.
Kind, yes, but not good.
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and i would hazard a suggestion youre kind of dismissing me a lot more than you think you are
but ok
by all means go on
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I don't dismiss you.
You are clever and smart and living as you best see fit. You have kindness about you but defensive where that kindness stems from. I certainly cannot tell where it is but I think you are doing as well as you can right now.
I will continue, if you will allow me.
Because while you say go on, I feel it more of a response spit out rather than actually wanting me to keep going.
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but its kind of dismissive when you repeatedly word it as though theres no other option than your opinion
i dont think your opinion is always wrong but i know it isnt always right either
whereas you keep stating that everything i think is wrong always and then go in about how it has to hurt people because x y z
without seeming to consider that not everyone is hurt by the same things
or considers the same things important
so
dont patronize me and maybe talk to me like my ideas are valid also
and not just something im doing "as well as i can right now"
the implication being i could do better if i agreed with you
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That is merely how I talk.
I will do some self reflection in trying to find a better way to word my thoughts.
It would not do well to have people feel as though I am dismissing them.
You are taking that implication.
I don't believe I have said it.
Furthermore, I am also doing as well as I can right now.
I never thought of it as an insult since it is what I use when I talk about myself, but I suppose one can take it as one.
Does that wording sound rude? It is not meant to be. I am merely thoughtful over it.
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