parodeity: meruz @ tumblr (AMUSED 🎧 hands on hips)
revenge of ricky schrΓΆdinger ヽ(βŒβ– _β– )γƒŽ ([personal profile] parodeity) wrote2017-08-30 10:31 am
sharplydressed: (silly scrub)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-16 07:42 am (UTC)(link)
Outside of the fact that we don't sell soda here, sure. And our manager's over there.

[POINTING to a particularly grumpy-looking lady standing over by the espresso machine... True to her name, she looks like she's been eating lemons.]

sharplydressed: (like that!)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-16 08:23 am (UTC)(link)
Mermaid now, actually. You juuust missed the unicorn thing. If you like cake batter, it would have been super up your alley.

[Sickeningly sweet and ridiculous-looking... The mermaid one honestly isn't better.]
sharplydressed: (puts on my thinking cap)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-16 09:29 am (UTC)(link)
I can think of a few but they might get me fired, so I'm gonna stick with yours. She likes espressos, so that shouldn't be hard, at least... Maybe we can give her a decaf shot instead? Or would that be too mean?

[That is very mean.]
sharplydressed: (purikura)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-16 09:39 am (UTC)(link)
Per-fect! She might get suspicious if I just hand her a drink outta nowhere, but I've got a good plan. I can pop back there and make you something since I still have a freebie from my morning shift anyway. Order a double-shot espresso but when I give it to you, say you forgot and meant to order decaf so I can give her the extra. The one I give you will be caffeinated and the one she gets'll be decaf! That way, I can see your face when you try a dark roast double-shot espresso, too.

[Since he's just assuming Dave doesn't drink coffee much, or at all, if he thought they were selling soda here. Why is he like this...]
sharplydressed: (like that!)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-17 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
[DAVE... Then he will now at least be able to enjoy some fine quality brew.....]

Five sounds good!

[AND AWAY HE'LL FLOUNCE to go explain to his coworkers that he's back for his free drink so he can get behind the barista bar again.]
sharplydressed: (skyborne)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-17 07:44 am (UTC)(link)
[Takin' his order, makin' his drink--]

Here! One double-shot espresso.

[AND HERE THEY GO, THE DRINK SWITCHAROO TANGO.]
sharplydressed: (considering)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-17 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
Oh-- Oooh, sorry, sorry! You only drink decaf, right?

[LEMONFACE IS IN THE BACKGROUND honestly probably not caring too much because shit like this happens every now and then. As long as Dave isn't chucking the drink across the counter, things are clearly going well...]

Hang on a sec.

[As he makes a second drink craftily, this one being the rEAL caffeinated one. So diabolical. Holding the cup out and holding his hand out for the first one! And while he's doing that:]

Mm, guys, I got a double-shot espresso here. Anyone want it?

["Anyone", even though he's looking deadass right at Lemonfacehead. She looks back, looks at the drink, and nods over toward the back employee counter, saying something like leave it there and I'll take it.]
sharplydressed: (let me see!)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-19 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[DELIGHT. He always enjoys when people likes the drinks he makes, even if it's something this simple...

He'll also give Dave a big "OKAY" sign and then a thumbs up when Lemonface finally takes a sip of her cursed coffee. Mission success.

And then because he's allergic to work, he's right the heck on outta there before anyone can try to rope him in for an extra shift or something. Once he's back over to Dave:]


Good work, good work!
sharplydressed: (innocent)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-21 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
[FISTBUMP.]

That's the first prank I've pulled in a while where I don't have to worry about getting arrested.

[Who is he.]
sharplydressed: (on the roof having a good time)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-21 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, y'know... Just this and that! Nothing too bad, though.

[Isn't that just... reassuring...?!]
sharplydressed: (mmHHHMMM)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-22 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
A few kept secrets adds to anyone's charm.

[No he just doesn't want to talk about his unglamorous life of drinking and trying to pull fast ones on cops.]
sharplydressed: (fond)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-23 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
I know, it happens to everyone.

[It sure doesn't...]

So! Anything else you wanna mark off, or is that enough to call it a day?
sharplydressed: (like that!)

[personal profile] sharplydressed 2017-07-23 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I think I'm good for now, too. Thanks a lot!

[FOR DIVING INTO THE DEPTHS OF IDIOCY WITH HIM.]