nah the paint was ok i just uh there were bad people on it? hard to explain they looked weird and they had a LOT of guns and magic powers and shit and i remember thinking they were bad but thats about it i was trying to kill them and when it didnt work i blew up the train
pretty sure they were evil though idk why but i have this gut feeling that those guys were jackasses on some kinda level its ok if you blow up evil people right
i dont know? like ive never given the topic that much thought aside from maybe figuring i should not blow anyone up but like if you think you had a reason for past life blowing someone up then probably you did and it isnt like its a choice you made so who cares until you get more context to allow you to care right
ok kinda weird to be discussing heavy moral quandaries with a kid but what if you still FEEL whatever they were feeling? whenever i think back on it i still feel all ' fuck yeah i did a thing ' like yeah i didnt make the decision but even when i try to feel bad for the robots or whatever its like nah kinda weird to be totally apathetic/kind of thrilled abt robots/people dying even if they deserved it yknow
what about you kiddo you get any strong emotion in your flashback things
i dont feel like im that much of a kid any longer but yeah every time i think about any of the flashbacks i feel what i felt then or what he felt then however you wanna think about it its hard to get perspective on it when you cant really distance yourself from the you back then even if you would like to
why are the baked goods options in there what am i a cat
see thats a hard question because like i dont know what i would do if i could cut out the emotional part i want to say yeah i would but theres something so compelling about it and thats not even the right word because its like a trainwreck i cant look away from and that isnt compelling thats a disaster and youre just frozen there looking at it in slowly dawning horror but i dont know if i would or wouldnt paradoxically i want to know as much as i dont want to know and i am him as much as im not
yknow thats a really good and terrifying way to put it some people talk about what they remember like its somebody else entirely but i dont know youve had more than a few you know what im talking about when you start being able to put an actual person together i dont know his name but i know he had a crappy childhood and he lived in space (?) and was rich and powerful and fought the bad guys i think the stuff ive been getting was his
you kinda wanna know but you also kinda dont wanna know what happens if we just keep remembering and remembering wheres the point where we end up being more like these people than well us?
a lot of people only have a few memories i have a few more than that so my way of putting it may be terrifying due to that but yeah i think the shit they send us or that we find is all from the memories ive figured that for a while since i remember all the shit i have
it gets kind of existence crisisy doesnt it am i really me or was i always him and people always say that of course im me and i get to decide but like talk to me in twenty memories or so and tell me if you say the same thing i guess is mostly what i feel at those times
yeah my friends just have one or two so i must look totally batshit in comparison one day im like " ponies made out of diamonds exist " and the next its " i threw a gigantic party and spent the night spraying titties with champagne " and theyre like " well i remember a statue "
kinda explains the name retrospec tho or why they talk about remembering so much they WANT us to remember but fuck if i know why
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why did you blow up your train
did you not like the paint job?
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i just uh
there were bad people on it?
hard to explain
they looked weird and they had a LOT of guns and magic powers and shit and i remember thinking they were bad but thats about it
i was trying to kill them and when it didnt work i blew up the train
eh
weird stuff
no subject
blowing up a thing they are on
in general that tends to kill people really dead
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idk why but i have this gut feeling that those guys were jackasses on some kinda level
its ok if you blow up evil people right
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like ive never given the topic that much thought
aside from maybe figuring i should not blow anyone up
but like
if you think you had a reason for past life blowing someone up
then probably you did
and it isnt like its a choice you made so
who cares until you get more context to allow you to care right
no subject
whenever i think back on it i still feel all ' fuck yeah i did a thing '
like yeah i didnt make the decision but even when i try to feel bad for the robots or whatever its like
nah
kinda weird to be totally apathetic/kind of thrilled abt robots/people dying even if they deserved it yknow
what about you kiddo
you get any strong emotion in your flashback things
no subject
but yeah every time i think about any of the flashbacks i feel what i felt then
or what he felt then
however you wanna think about it
its hard to get perspective on it when you cant really distance yourself from the you back then
even if you would like to
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sooooo
WOULD you like to?
if you could cut the emotional part out, would you?
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see thats a hard question because like
i dont know what i would do if i could cut out the emotional part
i want to say yeah i would but
theres something so compelling about it
and thats not even the right word because its like a trainwreck i cant look away from
and that isnt compelling thats a disaster and youre just frozen there looking at it in slowly dawning horror
but i dont know if i would or wouldnt
paradoxically i want to know as much as i dont want to know
and i am him as much as im not
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some people talk about what they remember like its somebody else entirely but
i dont know
youve had more than a few you know what im talking about when you start being able to put an actual person together
i dont know his name but i know he had a crappy childhood and he lived in space (?) and was rich and powerful and fought the bad guys
i think the stuff ive been getting was his
you kinda wanna know but you also kinda dont wanna know
what happens if we just keep remembering and remembering
wheres the point where we end up being more like these people than
well
us?
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i have
a few more than that
so my way of putting it may be terrifying due to that
but yeah i think the shit they send us or that we find
is all from the memories
ive figured that for a while
since i remember all the shit i have
it gets kind of existence crisisy doesnt it
am i really me or was i always him
and people always say that of course im me and i get to decide but like
talk to me in twenty memories or so and tell me if you say the same thing i guess
is mostly what i feel at those times
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one day im like " ponies made out of diamonds exist " and the next its " i threw a gigantic party and spent the night spraying titties with champagne "
and theyre like " well i remember a statue "
kinda explains the name retrospec tho
or why they talk about remembering so much
they WANT us to remember but fuck if i know why
no subject
30+
its a thing
to fuck with us
i mean i know that cant be the actual reason
but it feels like it is on a day to day basis