parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 3.0;

No, no, I meant - those shitty tony hawk skateboarding games. You know? The ones where I'm not actually sure how the fuck you won, mostly I just made a hobby of finding game glitches.

[ please hold he's still trying to figure out wtf to do with "HELLO, I AM HERE FOR MOST OF THE DAY" as "the morning". what the fuck dirk ]

Lord of the Rings. [ that should waste a lot of time and dirk (probably) won't care if dave zones out or falls asleep during any of them. and they're not a series he feels an intense need to watch super closely, so dave won't mind that either. ] Unless you have some preference. I don't really care?

[ also they are in the kitchen, is dirk getting off or is dave going to cart him around here too what's up ]

[Dirk will hop off here so he can start assembling ingredients and necessary cooking implements. They are, presumably, getting to be good at doing this together? Dirk thought about making the pancakes for Dave but then he remembered Dave likes doing it together so that's why he suggested it like this.]

I'm good with Lord of the Rings. We could maybe mix some music together if you're up for it?

[ dave will help in tandem without really thinking about it. the question at the end is a little harder, because he doesn't really feel like doing something that active, but he doesn't like saying "no" if it's going to cause trouble.

he compromises. ]

Maybe a little later on? It feels like a Monday even though it's a Tuesday.

[ it's the first tuesday evening in a while he'll be doing his own thing, actually. ]

I'm only like 20% awake. Maybe 30%. Maybe that will get a little higher after breakfast though.

That isn't a problem. [He pauses, then, looks back over Dave.] Do you want to switch? I'll give Jake my morning and we can do our movie night, rather than our current movie morning arrangement.

No, it's fine. It's a holiday.

[ and he'd been assuming he'd just kind of do whatever the entire day so it's still weird dirk's sticking around for a portion of it. valentine's falling on a tuesday kind of seemed like a "well obviously we'll delay the whole spending time together thing until whenever the fuck" sign to dave, because valentine's day. ]

Also, that feels like it would be super awkward eventually, so. I'm not gonna die if you leave me alone for a day or something, dude. I promise I am entirely capable of entertaining myself for hours at a time. I have, like, tons of shit to watch or listen to. And also, there is this thing called "sleeping in" that I have heard great reviews about which I have never really gotten around to tryin' out to a super degree. I guess getting up at all put a damper on that plan but I can pretend I didn't and try it out later.

[To all this, Dirk only has one thing to say.]

Dave. You're clearly feeling like shit.

This is clearly all the more reason to let me laze around in bed like an ordinary seventeen-year-old boy?

[ he passes dirk a bowl. ]

I'm fine, dude, there's really no reason to mother hen it up. Just had a night of weird dreams. There's nothing else going on.

[ or nothing he's willing to admit to, so there you go. ]

[He takes this bowl under protest (he does not).]

I'm not going to stop you from lazing around. Like I said, you can always hit abscond with me.

Yeah, I know.

[ he doesn't feel like kicking dirk out yet, though. and has...no interest in kicking himself out, because then he'd actually have to find something to do with his time. what the fuck would that even be? he won't let himself text rose today, john's not around, jade's been off in her own world. probably he could go visit the kharaa, but that'd be a week long trip out and so it's not like a whimsical commitment.

now that he's thought about it, it sounds kind of nice, though. he was always planning on looping in to give them valentines chocolates or whatever (they do appreciate candy) and there's something really uncomplicated about the way they interact with him. it's a relief after too many layers with everyone else. they won't expect anything from him but candy and he can listen to p diddy talk about the drones or whatever and like, probably world conquest unfortunately but dave's mostly used to that. they'll let him stick around however long he wants and will make the time to do pretty much whatever dave tells them will be fun, because they have no sense and neither does he.

dave's 99% sure dirk won't appreciate this particular desire so he just stomps it down. he went quiet a little long contemplating this particular option. ]

Anyway, are these pancakes going to be like...fully chocolate? Or just chocolate chip. I'm not sure what you were goin' for here, I'll be honest.

Chocolate chip. We could look up the recipe for full chocolate if you prefer.

[He is fine either way.]

Whichever you prefer is fine with me.

[ he'll eat whatever they end up with so dirk won't worry himself into a corner or whatever. ]

Pancakes are presumably good in either direction? Like. Pancakes, you know.

I have the recipe for chocolate up, so let's do that.

[Dirk worries that Dave is getting annoyed with his mother henning, so Dirk is trying his best not to be overbearing and pushy. So he will focus on getting the rest of the stuff they need and getting started.]

Chocolate plain or chocolate with chocolate chips?

[ honestly, he just doesn't want to fuck up dirk's day, so the sooner dirk stops worrying about dave the Better. ]

Though at that point it feels like you may as well pour chocolate syrup over the damn things to go full throttle.

[He will never stop worrying about Dave, but he will try to keep it contained.]

We have chocolate syrup.

[If Dave is suggesting then this is where Dirk will die, today, at Dave's side.]

...I'm genuinely not sure I can handle that much sugar now that I've suggested it, but why the fuck not.

[ he lifts one shoulder, lets it drop. ]

What other chocolate shit do we have?

Chocolate shavings. Chocolate sprinkles. Chocolate icing.

[...]

We won't actually manage to eat this.

Yeah, it sounds a little bit too sweet, and I like sweet shit.

[ why do they have that much chocolate stuff, anyway. dave just lets his eyes fall to the recipe. ]

Is death by chocolate a thing?

Literally? Probably only in high enough doses. More generally, commonly through the exploitative labour systems used to meet global demands for cacao especially during the era of the Atlantic Slave Trade.

[Sometimes he adds in things like that Just To Have Fun.]

What do you think the dose of chocolate would even have to be if you weren't allergic?

[ would it be like a STACK of pancakes? TWO stacks? why does this matter. ]

The second part ain't really a thing we need to worry about unless someone suddenly enforces government and somehow gets away with it. And also if supply and demand even becomes a thing.

Probably more than we'll manage. [He grabs out his communicator so he can check without his shades.]

Medium lethal dose for humans is 1000 milligrams of theobromine per kilogram of body weight. Average theobromine dose in dark chocolate is 14 milligrams per gram. This is overall totally meaningless to us because we have no idea how much is in all of the chocolate we're setting up in front of us.

I'm putting down my guess for twelve stacks.

Yeah ok can't shove that much in my face ever so this is truly a meaningless quandary.

[ not...that he was planning to kill himself via pancakes...???? this is a weird tangent. they should maybe get off of it. ]

I can eat, like. A pancake. Maybe two.

[ he's fairly certain he's not hungry but that sounds like about what he can force down so? ]

So unless you can eat more than that one stack - how many is in a stack, like five? - should be fine.

Are you really eating a pancake? [They have so much chocolate out in the kitchen right now.] At this rate we should have a couple experimental pancakes for science. Actual breakfast should be something we can maybe stomach.

Isn't this what you wanted to do for breakfast? [ A SHRUG. he is more or less willing to go along with...whatever the fuck dirk comes up with at the moment. what he lacks in enthusiasm dave makes up for in...

something, surely? he seems more or less casual. ]

I don't know how many experimental pancakes I can stomach, but I can finish at least one.

[It's another moment where Dirk is clearly trying to figure out what he should be doing—where the processes stop and the system runs a diagnostic to try to work out why the thing that should feel nice shouldn't.

Dirk leans back against the counter. The monotone mellows out.]

What I wanted to do was celebrate Valentine's with you. You aren't in the celebratory mood, though, and I'd prefer if you didn't try to go through the motions for me. So at this point I'm considering if it would be better for us if we just grabbed some easy food, went to the couch, and watched some neo-Old English mythologizing.

I'd be good with that. It isn't my intention to mother hen at this point. I just... don't know. All I want is for both of us to be as comfortable as possible together for a few hours.

[ dave freezes, but he smooths out after a second, just. sighing after a moment. ]

Chill, dude. I'm comfortable. We can do the pancake thing? Or we can do the easy food thing and watch movies. Whatever you want. I don't...really have a preference, is all. Too tired, probably. You don't need to get worked up, a'ight? I'm not feelin' like shit or whatever. I'm just a little zoned out. Nothing for you to fret about.

[ before dirk can argue the point: ]

It's nothing I want you to worry about or anything you should, in fact, be worrying about. Relax.

subnautica ic inbox 3.0;

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