parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 3.0;

[He will never stop worrying about Dave, but he will try to keep it contained.]

We have chocolate syrup.

[If Dave is suggesting then this is where Dirk will die, today, at Dave's side.]

...I'm genuinely not sure I can handle that much sugar now that I've suggested it, but why the fuck not.

[ he lifts one shoulder, lets it drop. ]

What other chocolate shit do we have?

Chocolate shavings. Chocolate sprinkles. Chocolate icing.

[...]

We won't actually manage to eat this.

Yeah, it sounds a little bit too sweet, and I like sweet shit.

[ why do they have that much chocolate stuff, anyway. dave just lets his eyes fall to the recipe. ]

Is death by chocolate a thing?

Literally? Probably only in high enough doses. More generally, commonly through the exploitative labour systems used to meet global demands for cacao especially during the era of the Atlantic Slave Trade.

[Sometimes he adds in things like that Just To Have Fun.]

What do you think the dose of chocolate would even have to be if you weren't allergic?

[ would it be like a STACK of pancakes? TWO stacks? why does this matter. ]

The second part ain't really a thing we need to worry about unless someone suddenly enforces government and somehow gets away with it. And also if supply and demand even becomes a thing.

Probably more than we'll manage. [He grabs out his communicator so he can check without his shades.]

Medium lethal dose for humans is 1000 milligrams of theobromine per kilogram of body weight. Average theobromine dose in dark chocolate is 14 milligrams per gram. This is overall totally meaningless to us because we have no idea how much is in all of the chocolate we're setting up in front of us.

I'm putting down my guess for twelve stacks.

Yeah ok can't shove that much in my face ever so this is truly a meaningless quandary.

[ not...that he was planning to kill himself via pancakes...???? this is a weird tangent. they should maybe get off of it. ]

I can eat, like. A pancake. Maybe two.

[ he's fairly certain he's not hungry but that sounds like about what he can force down so? ]

So unless you can eat more than that one stack - how many is in a stack, like five? - should be fine.

Are you really eating a pancake? [They have so much chocolate out in the kitchen right now.] At this rate we should have a couple experimental pancakes for science. Actual breakfast should be something we can maybe stomach.

Isn't this what you wanted to do for breakfast? [ A SHRUG. he is more or less willing to go along with...whatever the fuck dirk comes up with at the moment. what he lacks in enthusiasm dave makes up for in...

something, surely? he seems more or less casual. ]

I don't know how many experimental pancakes I can stomach, but I can finish at least one.

[It's another moment where Dirk is clearly trying to figure out what he should be doing—where the processes stop and the system runs a diagnostic to try to work out why the thing that should feel nice shouldn't.

Dirk leans back against the counter. The monotone mellows out.]

What I wanted to do was celebrate Valentine's with you. You aren't in the celebratory mood, though, and I'd prefer if you didn't try to go through the motions for me. So at this point I'm considering if it would be better for us if we just grabbed some easy food, went to the couch, and watched some neo-Old English mythologizing.

I'd be good with that. It isn't my intention to mother hen at this point. I just... don't know. All I want is for both of us to be as comfortable as possible together for a few hours.

[ dave freezes, but he smooths out after a second, just. sighing after a moment. ]

Chill, dude. I'm comfortable. We can do the pancake thing? Or we can do the easy food thing and watch movies. Whatever you want. I don't...really have a preference, is all. Too tired, probably. You don't need to get worked up, a'ight? I'm not feelin' like shit or whatever. I'm just a little zoned out. Nothing for you to fret about.

[ before dirk can argue the point: ]

It's nothing I want you to worry about or anything you should, in fact, be worrying about. Relax.

[Dirk's voice is quiet.] Just tell me to stop overreading you and I'll stop. No asking if you're okay, no trying to interpret what you're doing. I promise. [He saw the freeze up. He is afraid if he doesn't comment on it he'll miss something important. He is worried that if he does comment on it he'll just make Dave more stressed.

A pause.]

I promise to try to stop the reading, and to entirely stop asking. Sometimes I've worried that not asking you about a possible hint means I've failed you, so if you blanket tell me to knock that shit off I swear I will. Put it down as a boundary, and anything else you want to set against for the day, and I'll respect it.

[He doesn't want to make this worse. He just needs to know. What is he supposed to do?]

[ that's an offer dave...does not know what to do with. it's like carte blanche to lie and get away with it if dirk just doesn't ask and doesn't try to understand. does he want that back? he's wished for it frequently. if he'd had it they probably wouldn't be standing here at all, though.

what answer would dirk be happiest with? sometimes dave thinks he can predict it, but sometimes he gets it really fucking wrong. this feels like it could be one of those times. ]

Just don't worry about it today. I'm fine. You're not failing me. I'm just being weird for no reason, like I said. Zoned out over nothing.

[ wrong or right, he opts for this solution. if dirk is promising not to ask, dave doesn't have to worry about telling or not telling. he smiles and it's amused and a little tired but not forced. ]

Seriously. I probably would've been more useful if I'd known about this sooner but I kinda figured you'd book it and didn't plan to like, hang with anyone. So not being fully awake was not in fact a concern I had earlier. I would maybe have taken back some late night reading. Or maybe not, but at least I would've reconsidered it at the time.

[Dave doesn't get a hint on whether or not he got it wrong. Dirk immediately accepts what Dave says. It's a boundary: Dirk has to stop trying to read Dave or at least trying to call out what he sees. So he will.]

Okay. I'm gonna opt for an easy breakfast. Toast and fruit slices, if you're okay with that. We'll do our chocolate pancake experiment some time when you're less tired. ['Tired' is an easy, blanket word. Dirk lets it stand for whatever Dave has decided it will for today, and he doesn't preoccupy himself with trying to interpret it. (Much.)] We'll do Lord of the Rings and chill.

[ at least there's that. it helps to think maybe dirk won't spend the day worrying about dave fucking himself up over whatever he's currently in a weird mood about. it's a relief to just commit to the thing he'd already committed to doing: not explaining and spending the day with himself, after dirk wandered off. ]

Toast and fruit is fine. [ he can stomach that much, easily. ] One movie or so and then you can go do whatever and I'll go do whatever? And by whatever I mean I'm goin' back to bed. I'll pick your clothes beforehand.

We have to do the Twin Towers if we're only doing one.

[Dave set his boundaries, but no-contact wasn't in there. Still, Dirk is nervous, so the hug is quick.]

Thanks for being my family. I love you. Happy Valentine's.

[He'll back off after that. But he had to do it before they continued on.]

You want AJ instead of coffee if you're going to nap, right?

[ he didn't say no contact. as quick as the hug is, dave does hug back. ]

Twin Towers is fine, and I'll have water. [ nothing super sweet. ] I love you, too.

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