The specific example I gave just before was - probably more the former.

[ he is not sure he wants to claim "fucked up by bro" as an identity. but it isn't a thing he can just make go away by wanting it really badly.

dave bites his lip, but it's less a worried gesture and more a stall for time as he messes with it. ]

I...think that... [ the stall didn't go on long enough because he's not sure how to explain the new thought he's had, so dave just. shrugs again, changing gears and leaving whatever-it-was behind for the moment. ] It's not a problem unique to you. I made myself into someone else for a lot of reasons for a long time, but "keeping other people happy" was always...a huge factor? I didn't try to change anything quite so - ok, well I guess technically I ignored anything to do with. That. On the grounds it was - honestly we can get into that later, but mostly I - ignored the part where I wasn't...you know.

[ YOU KNOW!!!!! ]