Do you actually care? I mean, about admitting that. To me, at least. I get not wanting to tell other people but it ain't like you don't know I would do...whatever, for you.
Sometimes. [He looks thoughtful.] I am in love with you, you already know that, but sometimes you have to wonder if even so you might be too much for the other person. That's all. I want to keep going at a speed you're comfortable with.
[ okay, cool, at least he doesn't have to guess further. dave hums, going quiet for a second to try to gather his thoughts as he reaches out to take john's hands, because he figures the contact will help to give him the time he wants to take to make sure he doesn't say the wrong thing without john freaking out the pause is because he isn't okay with it. ]
We've been livin' together for like half a year, you realize? Thereabouts. And I know it hasn't always been, uh, easy? [ his eyebrows lift. ] And at one point I definitely caused you to throw your phone into an ocean and also to throw a deck of cards off a roof and maybe I should just make sure you aren't holding anything we really like before I piss you off, but like. I cannot speak for you, obviously, but I think it has always been worthwhile? I like havin' you around. I like...going to sleep in a room you are in, even if you are still doing school work or whatever the few times I go to sleep before you do, and I like wakin' up and having you there even if mostly when I wake up you are drooling and sleeping like an utter disaster. It's kind of nice to have a made bed and I guess you were right and it's kind of cool to have all the computer cords organized and stuff. I like writing post it notes or calender whatever notes and seeing blue ink whenever I come back from wherever in return. It's kind of been half a year and I do know what living with you is like. The only real change is gonna be that there'll be like...more space, which I think would make it a little easier in certain respects rather than harder? Love you though I do I think we could sometimes use more breathing room than a college dormitory offers, maybe. If you mean am I okay with it because of permanence, I'll remind you that I kind of like permanence. So...yeah?
[It helps. He holds onto Dave's hands and he waits, breathing steadily and trying to be patient while Dave pauses. There are a lot of words suddenly and he's not entirely sure what to say, but he lets Dave talk and he takes another breath as he nods along.
These things make sense. He makes a face when Dave mentions how he drools in his sleep and he squeezes Dave's hands a little when he mentions permanence.]
...just checking. [A grin.] An apartment or a house or whatever is going to be more responsibility than a college dormitory and we will have more space but also bills to pay and stuff. Obviously we have never fought about money before and I do not anticipate that we will start, but it's just...a commitment all the same. So yes I wanted to double check.
Babe, we have totally fought about money before, we just always argue about who gets to spend it on the other person rather than questioning one another's purchases? But like, no matter how much more responsibility it is I am pretty sure the fact I want to wake up to your dumb face for the rest of forever kind of outweighs that?
You know what I mean. But that's really sweet even if you are calling my face dumb. [Thanks Dave, it's totally fine to be a clingy idiot. John's a little too attached, too.] We'll take forever when it gets here. I just want to actually find a place before the semester's over and the dorm kicks us out.
I can figure it out. It would be embarrassing if I fought with hammers but didn't know how to use them. And if that fails we hire somebody to do it. We know enough people someone is bound to know a carpenter or whatever.
[ a short kiss, but dave leans forward after john pulls away, just a hair, in the way you do when something ends and you nearly reach out to grab it again because you weren't quite ready for it to go.
Yeah? I'm excited for the parts of the evening where I get to get you into an apron again [ GETTING AHEAD OF HIMSELF, john didn't agree to that, but john will clearly? agree to that? ] and then later do fuck all while we watch a movie. And the cat probably takes up eighty percent of the bed somehow, against all known laws of physics.
Think of how awesome it will be to be able to do all of that in one house. And Mewpac will have more room to wander that isn't our bed. It's exciting, isn't it? [But he's getting up to grab his bag and head out of the room.]
I mean, it will already be pretty awesome to have a kitchen all to ourselves and I don't even really like to cook more than incidentally. Borrowin' one from the parents or using the dormitory one shared with however many other guys kind of just does not have the same appeal.
[ and maybe it's dumb to look forward to something as unquestionably mild and domestic as being able to sit in a kitchen and narrate john cooking without anyone interrupting them but whatever dave accepts that he's a loser for john egbert.
Yeah. [He's pretty excited, too, it's fine. He's also immediately taking Dave's hand.] I think I am getting more nervous about it as it gets closer since I am not finding anything that works with what we want. But it'll be fine. Right now let's just focus on noodles and furries.
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moving in? kissing levels? the birthday party thing? ]
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We've been livin' together for like half a year, you realize? Thereabouts. And I know it hasn't always been, uh, easy? [ his eyebrows lift. ] And at one point I definitely caused you to throw your phone into an ocean and also to throw a deck of cards off a roof and maybe I should just make sure you aren't holding anything we really like before I piss you off, but like. I cannot speak for you, obviously, but I think it has always been worthwhile? I like havin' you around. I like...going to sleep in a room you are in, even if you are still doing school work or whatever the few times I go to sleep before you do, and I like wakin' up and having you there even if mostly when I wake up you are drooling and sleeping like an utter disaster. It's kind of nice to have a made bed and I guess you were right and it's kind of cool to have all the computer cords organized and stuff. I like writing post it notes or calender whatever notes and seeing blue ink whenever I come back from wherever in return. It's kind of been half a year and I do know what living with you is like. The only real change is gonna be that there'll be like...more space, which I think would make it a little easier in certain respects rather than harder? Love you though I do I think we could sometimes use more breathing room than a college dormitory offers, maybe. If you mean am I okay with it because of permanence, I'll remind you that I kind of like permanence. So...yeah?
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These things make sense. He makes a face when Dave mentions how he drools in his sleep and he squeezes Dave's hands a little when he mentions permanence.]
...just checking. [A grin.] An apartment or a house or whatever is going to be more responsibility than a college dormitory and we will have more space but also bills to pay and stuff. Obviously we have never fought about money before and I do not anticipate that we will start, but it's just...a commitment all the same. So yes I wanted to double check.
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[ whatever john knows dave is a clingy idiot ]
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then he smiles, sheepish. ]
Then let's go, lover boy.
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[ and maybe it's dumb to look forward to something as unquestionably mild and domestic as being able to sit in a kitchen and narrate john cooking without anyone interrupting them but whatever dave accepts that he's a loser for john egbert.
he snags his own bag and follows. ]
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[...] Pretend I phrased it better.
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