recollé ic inbox 5.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[parodeity]

knight

and yeah thats more or less the logic of it
kind of

[grimdeity]

Knights use sword and shield, maybe a lance, but not a sickle.

Is the entirety of our past lives this stupid sounding, or just this bit?

[parodeity]

i never used a shield
unless other people count

and no pretty much all of our lives are that stupid sounding youre accurate there

[grimdeity]

That's dark, brother.
I sense you have a story there.
Feel like sharing it?

Great, just what I wanted.

1/2

[parodeity]

just ducked behind harley when a thing that wasnt gonna attack her was gonna attack me

2/2

[parodeity]

*wolf
i mean
jade
you know

[grimdeity]

Jade's last name was Harley instead of Wolf?
Did her family make motorcycles?

[parodeity]

im not sure
he might have?
i just know she lived on hellmurder island
tropical maybe paradise

[grimdeity]

Curious name for a tropical paradise.
So you were Texan, and Jade was from the tropics.
And I lived with Roxy, who was my mother and who tried to give me a pony which offended me greatly.
Paints an interesting picture I must say.

[parodeity]

john was still from washington

[grimdeity]

What a typical hipster.
Or well. Is it Oregon or Washington that's more hipster-polluted?
I always get those two mixed up.
Except for Washington being the stage for Stephanie Meyer's Twilight.

[parodeity]

so between me and john who is the most hipster

[grimdeity]

A difficult question.
I would need to conduct a rigorous exam of you both to determine who is The Most Hipster.
Obviously, you have both the smell of Hipster and were thusly drawn to each other as mates.
From that I can determine that you are both Hipsters of a similar quality and breed.
But as neither of you drink from lightbulbs or wear man-buns, I wonder if either of you is of a strong Hipster breeding or merely born of cross-breeding with more Mainstream homo sapiens.

[parodeity]

wait whoa what the fuck
this sounds more like you want to narrate a documentary on hipster breeding habits than anything else
rose i am uncomfortable with your everything as always

[grimdeity]

Whoops.
Well, whatever the case, I expect you both to take the following tests and report back to me so I can analyze who is the most hipster.

[ attached links: one, two, three, and four. ]

[parodeity]

you need to link these to john yourself woman

also taking these now
already been betrayed by test 1

You got : Washington
You describe yourself as an introvert, but you’re not shy. You just don’t care about being in the spotlight, and you'd rather just do your own thing. You’ve realized that your happiness in life depends on one person: you. And you're on a mission to make that happen. Go explore Washington! It’s the place for you.

fuck you buzzfeed im texas

You got: -1,000%
You're clueless about the hipster lifestyle!

take that
but also i was just choosing w/e the fuck

You got: Surprise! You're single

really buzzfeed
my facebook status begs to fucking differ

You got: Not a hipster
Congrats! You're not a hipster at all. You're more than happy to embrace current trends and genuinely love the things you're interested in. You're not afraid to be yourself, even if that means looking "uncool" sometimes. Keep doin' you!

i picked the most john looking dude

[grimdeity]

Will do.
That's better, anyway, I don't want you sharing the results with each other, it could affect the study.

Interesting.

[parodeity]

it always worries me when you say interesting

[grimdeity]

That's interesting.
Why does it worry you?

[parodeity]

bc it leads to psychoanalyzation why else

[grimdeity]

You say that like it's a bad thing.
... Interesting.

[parodeity]

hey
hey fuck you
you cant psychoanalyze my refusal to be psychoanalyzed