recollé ic inbox 5.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[parodeity]

What kind of coke? [ an equally ridiculous grin because texas is stupid and every soda is a coke ]

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[Is this a trick question.] Cherry? [Save him.]

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Not a sprite?

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Do they make Cherry Sprite now? [...] Also Sprite isn't Coke even though it's a Coke product, they are two totally different things.

[parodeity]

Sprite is a type of coke.

[ ALL SODA IS COKE and dave's lived out of texas long enough to know that is not a thing on-southerners agree on, but

he does it still and he thinks it's hilarious to confuse people ]

Also they definitely make cherry Sprite.

[windeity]

What are you--[It takes some time but he finally catches on.] Oh my god, why are all sodas a type of coke? Is that a you thing? Does Rose do this too? [WHY.]

[parodeity]

[ the truest test of any friendship, tbh. ] Of course she does, we're Texan.

[windeity]

You are definitely the only Texans I know. And she sent me quizzes about what kind of dog I am so that is not that confidence-inspiring.

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And what kind of dog are you, Egbert? I'd say...labrador or golden retriever.

[windeity]

You and Rose both said that. Her guess was a chocolate lab or a pug, but according to the four different quizzes she made me take it was...a corgi, a basset hound, a husky, and an australian shepherd. So I guess you were both wrong.

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I should be more right than buzzfeed??

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I don't know dude. Buzzfeed is pretty accurate on some things? [Absolutely not.]

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Yeah, but you're not datin' buzzfeed? Learn to white lie on fancy dates, Eggs.

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Whatever, I don't like lying to you. Even white lies. [Just a push to his shin.] But you are a lot more appealing than Buzzfeed anyway.

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That is literally the most romantic thing you've ever said to me. [ IT'S NOT. dave loses his shoe because he has no idea what he's doing. ]

[windeity]

[It's fine, he'll use his foot to draw Dave's shoe closer and away from Dave because he's an asshole.]

I will have to up my game then. I'm still learning how to meme.

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[ dick. dave just slides his foot along john's other shin. :/ ]

It's cute when you fuck 'em up, anyway.

3/20

[fabrefactions]

Are you free this weekend?

[windeity]

[He jumps slightly because he wasn't expecting that? Fuck off, Dave.]

Someday I will actually do them right! And that will probably be a day I regret everything. [Not really. But he's back to picking apart the rest of his lobster to move onto his steak.] I cannot believe you think that's cute.

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[ no, john has the option to give back the shoe? so he's just idly doing the pressure up and down john's shin. fuck off, egbert. ]

Tell you what, pull off a flawless day of memes and I will give you a prize. [ he'll work on his potato. ]

[windeity]

[This is probably sending his gambit straight the fuck down, thanks Dave. But he's also not giving up first.]

How the hell does that even work? You cannot just drop memes into normal conversation, Dave.

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[ dave isn't even being as big an asshole as he could be? but he looks faintly amused as he just continues to basically fondle john's leg ig ]

Guess you just don't have enough skill yet, then.

[windeity]

[His other foot tries to push Dave's away? Rude!!!]

Like you do? [#doubt.]

[parodeity]

[ dave just pouts. why isn't john letting him do stupid flirting. ]

[windeity]

[...he shifts his leg so Dave can continue??]